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09:37 AM on 06/10/2009
Thank you for this post! I laugh in hysterics when I hear people say "what benefits do you not have?" My partner is from France and has been here for 10 years and we still think about the possibility of him losing his job and having to leave the country.

I understand people's religious views. But any couple can go to city hall and get a marriage license and get married moments later by a justice of the peace. There is nothing religious at all about a marriage itself. And what really scares me ist aht people still use the "what about the children" discussion. Well, it is very scary to me that people think that their children should never be exposed to the rest of the world around them. Sorry to break the news to people, but gay people are everywhere and you there is no way you can change that.

But I think the key to this article is that the LGBT needs to start emphasizing the benefits that we do not have in order to make the point. The legal nightmare to children if something happens to one of the parents of a gay couple is horrendous. These are the topics that will help people understand why marriage equality is so important.
09:36 AM on 06/10/2009
Way to go Jennifer!

Steve Wild who will celebrate my 10th anniversary with my partner June 22
Columbus, Ohio
10:07 AM on 06/10/2009
10:48 AM on 06/10/2009
Hi Steve,

I met you a couple of years ago. You gave me some yard signs for Reform Ohio Now. I live in your neighborhood. My name is Nancy (aka, the only other liberal in the neighborhood). I would enjoy meeting you and your partner sometime.
04:41 PM on 06/22/2009

Contact me at and we can get in touch!
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Another proud veteran
09:34 AM on 06/10/2009
Thank you, Ms. Brunner.

I was a little startled by this statement: "Why is it different for some people when civil rights and the protection of individual freedoms are the bedrock of the most special democracy in the history of the world?" I was startled because, as a lesbian, I have never felt that this was a land of civil rights and protection of individual freedoms AT ALL. And it's not a "most special democracy." It's a land of hatred and intolerance, and of protection of the majority's way of life. Though I served my country proudly, I have always felt this way. I justified my patriotism by saying, "At least I don't live in Saudi Arabia...or..."

Really, it is straight people and young gays who will get us through this. They are the ones who know what freedom and human dignity are like. I'm afraid older gays like me are kind of dead weight in this battle: we're just not accustomed to being thought of as good human beings.
10:10 AM on 06/10/2009
you're not the only one. Ms. Brunner has a good heart. Unfortunately the other side doesn't.
They'll lie, cheat, steal, and kill to maintain the status quo. And when one of their fringe supporters does something horrific, they wash their hands of it, say they didn't know, and keep on inciting violence the next day.
but the recent history of states legalizing marriage for homosexuals is a good step and one that actually makes me proud. they're not all ignorant hateful people, just a few. unfortunately they are the loudest.
sadly the media gives credibility to these hate-mongers. but things are changing.
10:10 AM on 06/10/2009
There is an ENORMOUS disconnect between the ideal set out by the constitution and the declaration of independance that everyone holds so dear, and the reality that some of us know, that equality, and "Life liberty and the pursuit of happiness" will not come for many of us
Sharon Hunt
Flag waving doesn't make you a Patriot
09:32 AM on 06/10/2009
Good for you making a stand. So many politicians are afraid by coming out for gay marriage, it will turn voters off. I applaude you!!!
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Memoirs Found in a Bathtub
09:28 AM on 06/10/2009
Why not create a new judicial concept, Equal but Spelled Different. Pass an amendment that preserves mArriage as the traditional union, and create mErriage (sounds same, has equal rights, spelled different). Replace the word marry and marriage with m@rry and m@rriage in all legal documents. The traditionalists can restrict marriage to a specific ratio of genitalia, and merriage will be available to any consenting adults.
09:27 AM on 06/10/2009
Wonderful article. I'm so thankful that there are people who articulate this issue better than I! You are appreciated!
09:45 AM on 06/10/2009
"better than me"
10:25 AM on 06/10/2009
No, I think MenaC is correct. Her sentence is the shortened version of the thought "I'm so thankful that there are people who articulate this issue better than I articulate this issue." So "better than I" is correct.

/grammar nazi
10:33 AM on 06/10/2009
"...better than I" is perfectly correct here. Imagine the word "do" after the word "I," and voilĂ .
09:26 AM on 06/10/2009
Until the 1700's, faith organizations were the only ones that kept records of marriage but over the years civil records took over. The USA like many countries deputizes religious ministers to be legal witnesses for civil marriage as well as religious marriage. Perhaps we will need to end that practice. In Belgium for example, a church marriage is not recognized as a civil marriage and has to attend 2 ceremonies to be considered married by both. I believe that Belgium also recognizes same-gender civil marriage as well. Of course, such a separation would mean some minor hassle for the partners, but it would truly live up to our US Constitutional principal of Separation of Church and State.
11:55 AM on 06/10/2009
The reason for this was the medieval tradition of papal monarchy -- the church WAS the political power thoughout much of Europe. This changed during the Renaissance but there was still a fiction that government was god-ordained.
09:25 AM on 06/10/2009
Well put. If you start from the Constitution and the Bill of Rights, there really is NOTHING to get. Equal protection under the law. Equal rights for all. It's a no-brainer.

Unfortunately those are the people we are up against: the no-brainers.
09:50 AM on 06/10/2009
Wow! That is so true! That is exactly it! Thank you!
10:14 AM on 06/10/2009
I'll never understand those people (republicans) who raise themself up as bigger and better Americans, and yet easily dismiss the documents that this country was founded on, The Constitution and The Declaration of Independence when it's convenient to defend their stupidity
09:16 AM on 06/10/2009
Kudos to Jennifer Brunner!

Cheers, Joe Mustich, Justice of the Peace
Washington CT USA

Last Saturday I officiated at a marriage of 2 men from NY who have been together for almost 45 years, and later that same day for 2 young women from DC. I have many more weddings planned for later this summer in CT. Kudos to CT.

However why can't these loving couples get married in their own home states like Ohio?

It's time for marriage equality and fairness in America.
08:21 AM on 06/10/2009
separate but equal. separate but equal.

why doesnt Obama and Hillary and whomever just say it's OK. then we know. that's what they espouse.
10:17 AM on 06/10/2009
Never trust a self preservation minded politician who puts job security over their job

"I was so busy keeping my job I forgot to do my job"-Andrew Shephard, The American President
10:52 AM on 06/10/2009
I'm (hoping)/thinking they're measuring out when to say it so it'll go through most effectively.

I hope.