Comments are closed for this entry
View All
Favorites
Bloggers
Recency  | 
Popularity
Page:  « First  ‹ Previous  1 2 3 4 5  Next ›  Last »  (15 total)
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
10:16 AM on 03/23/2013
Before one goes singing the praises of maternal sole custody, one might want to be sobered by the real problems presented by such an arrangement. Children from intact marriages have superior health, wealth and education.
http://www.nytimes.com/2012/07/15/us/two-classes-in-america-divided-by-i-do.html
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
photo
08:52 PM on 03/23/2013
There are plenty of children who come from intact marriages that have none of the above. Not saying those who come from a single parent home aren't at at disadvantage, but it's not all roses on the other side either.
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
photo
09:52 AM on 03/23/2013
There might be a few fathers who should not be in their children's lives on a regular basis, say, living with them, but to make a blanket statement that it's better to be a single parent is just wrong every way you look at it. You, Kerri Zane, are self-centered and despicable.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
M Zahran Sallay
apple fan, lumia owner...
09:51 AM on 03/23/2013
reading this article, i get the feeling that the author's former spouse must be grinning somewhere, counting his blessings to not be in a relationship with a control freak.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
jaguar6cy
09:50 AM on 03/23/2013
Single parenthood is also the single greatest indicator for future criminal activity. Of course liberals and "progressives" prefer not to discuss that. Selfishness is just not a great character trait in any parent.
12:07 PM on 03/23/2013
This is false. The independent variable is not single parenthood, but poverty.
02:36 PM on 03/23/2013
Wrong. A 1998 paper entitled ‘Father Absence and Youth Incarceration’ showed that the strongest predictor of whether a person will end up in prison is if they were raised by a single parent (Harper and McLanahan, 1998).

Researchers control for factors like parental income. They have found again and again that what makes the difference is NOT money, NOT schools, NOT welfare programs - but coming from an intact married home.

Feel free to contact me if you want more citations and references. My email address is in my profile.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
jankantius
12:14 PM on 03/23/2013
I'm a single parent . My chidren are brilliant. acutally,more than briilliant.
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
photo
Still Posting
FOX: Devolving their viewers since 2002.
12:26 AM on 03/25/2013
Ahem . . .

'Actually' and 'brilliant'.

But we believe you anyway. :-)
09:46 AM on 03/23/2013
Ms. Zane, okay that you've found what works for you. Did you notice that all the reasons are about YOU? What about the example of compromise your children are missing out on? And no, layway was not made for single parents. It’s for people who don’t live within their income. What of teaching how to problem solve with a disagreeing spouse? What of having a dad in the home? I am saddened by you justifications. For your children’s sake, I wish you were just single.
You are an example but not a "stellar role model." From my view, your article is what is so wrong with the mentality of a few women in this country. And yes, I am a single mom.
09:19 AM on 03/23/2013
I've struggled with the decision to divorce for a few years now. I finally had enough of the cursing, yelling, emotionally, and financially abusive control freak. I'm scared of what lies ahead for my two sons (one on the spectrum) and myself. It's not about making all of the decisions it's about having a voice, period! It's not about having a better body, it's about having control over my body and being able to decide if I want sex and saying no if I don't. He isn't a hands on dad or husband he spent no time with us except when he needed us. I was fiercely independent before I got married and my husband worked diligently over the course of our 15 yrs to change me into a woman I don't recognize. Are my children and I better off staying with him or taking our chances at a life that may not have the little luxuries we do now but feeling safe and secure? We spent most of our marriage in therapy and my husband didn't do the work. His words "I never thought you would actually do it" when I filed say a lot. My parents stayed together "for the kids" and I can't remember ever a day that I didn't wish they would divorce. I've heard both sides of divorce and I decided to jump ship before it goes down.
01:32 PM on 03/23/2013
Good luck to you! Sounds a lot like mine, but I decided to stick it out, a decision I regret. Wish I'd left, both kids are now grown. They ve turned out well, but he was gone 90% of the time, so to a degree i was a single parent. but now they're independent & moved on With their lives, & I'm stuck in limbo...do I stay or go?
08:43 PM on 03/23/2013
Charlotte, I'm happy your kids turned out well. Now it's time to take care of you. I've heard the words "wish I'd left" a few times and I say say " it's never to late to get on with your life unless the choice is taken from you. My Mother in law stayed (my husband learned from his father how to be a man) and she died 5 years ago never knowing what could have been instead of what she endured. She even baked her own birthday cakes until I started giving her proper deserved acknowledgment. I know that hurt people hurt others so I hope to get my boys out before this will be the only way they know. I wish you peace and love.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Amie Nogrady
you say witch like it's a bad thing
10:51 PM on 03/23/2013
Best of luck in this decision and don't let those people who are quick to shove "studies" and "statistics" at you. You have to make the decision that is right for you and for your kids, so I applaud your bravery.
09:16 AM on 03/23/2013
This woman is what is wrong in the world....what a hack!....or is this "the onion"
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
flaghag
09:06 AM on 03/23/2013
My father left our family and my parents divorced when I was 11. Life was MUCH harder on all of us, (5), especially my mom, as a full time working, single parent. The 5 reasons listed here are, a bit, silly. She had all of those things and none of them helped her pain towards feeling lonely, broke and totally rejected.
06:28 AM on 03/23/2013
Yeah! So you can get some tax payer dollars for free,be a Baby Popper... Money will start coming in....
Known as Free Ride on the Tax Payers Dime...
12:14 PM on 03/23/2013
Yes, single parents are rich!!! ? If you look at the facts, you will see that single parents are poorer than married parents, not richer.
02:49 PM on 03/24/2013
To which they are getting entitlements from us the tax payers known as Child Support Money or OPM. Get Rich schemes by way of never having to work for a living and if they do then they get richer.
01:06 AM on 03/23/2013
And now for the 555,000 reasons it's better NOT to be a single parent...
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
alfred allen
12:00 AM on 03/23/2013
Here is a big one about being a single parent.
You can fart under the covers. All you want
GHO
Sooner or later you run out of other peoples money
07:24 AM on 03/23/2013
Sadly, that one is no less trivial or selfish than the 5 given above.
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
photo
pattio66
Stand easy, Grace!
09:03 AM on 03/23/2013
heck, I do that anyway!
10:17 PM on 03/22/2013
So basically you are a control freak that wants no father involvement (An important part of development just ask the kids of absentee dad's how that worked out for them. As one of them I'll tell you it was a void that was not able to be filled and left me scarred) who likes to sleep with a lot of different people and you think you look better in an LBD than a married or partnered mom?! I'm going with the you're making lemonade... And I was a single parent for a good amount of time. I'm glad you've found your optimism sad that it's so twisted...
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
photo
averagezoe
Don't breed or buy while homeless animals die!
09:43 PM on 03/22/2013
You are so absolutely correct with every point you made - thank you! I had the aforesight to demand that my first husband relinquish his parental rights in exchange for child support when I divorced him because he was not someone I wanted in my daughter's life. It was the best decision I ever made and my kid and I had a wonderful life. We lived together and did most things together until she got married at age 34 and that included 4 more husbands on my part. And you are also right about sleeping alone! Even when I was married, I refused to share a bed - ever since I was a little kid, I have never been able to sleep with anyone else next to me except for my daughter on occasion and of course, pets.
10:25 PM on 03/22/2013
Uh, this is satire as well, right?

Please God tell me this is satire...
GHO
Sooner or later you run out of other peoples money
07:30 AM on 03/23/2013
I'm not sure which part of the comment made me sadder - that she married and divorced 4 more times ater the father, but still thinks HE's the one to blame, or that dear old "daddy" sold his parental rights rather than pay child support. What a pair.
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
photo
11:17 AM on 03/23/2013
If I understand it correctly you have been married 5 times? Oh yeah. It's definitely them and not you.
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
photo
averagezoe
Don't breed or buy while homeless animals die!
06:23 PM on 03/23/2013
I married mostly for economic reasons and regarded each marriage as temporary from day one. I don't like being married and I never pretended to be. And I never said that it was any of the men's fault - I simply left when I was ready, which they knew would happen.
08:48 PM on 03/22/2013
Other research proves married people live longer and in better health. So much for flying solo. It may be easier in some (selfish) ways, but doing challenging things stretches you into a fuller, better person. So does having principles and not just doing something because it feels good. Self-control is a good thing.

Shame on you for writing this hopeless article, discouraging people into wondering "why bother?" While you have the freedom of cereal for supper instead of cooking a nice pasta dish like I did tonight, served by candlelight, the latter makes for fonder memories. Yes, I could use paper plates but china is nicer even though it has to be washed... a little more work for a better experience: that is how I see marriage. It's worth it. Go on with your proud cereal and paper plate lifestyle - do whatever you want to make YOU happy! Problem is, you won't be truly happy serving old #1.
08:46 PM on 03/22/2013
(continued)
YOU decide to marry, and YOU decide to divorce. Love is a choice. Anger is a choice. Sex is a choice. BUT, poverty for the children isn't their choice, it is their parent's choice to break one household into two, wasting money all the while. “Whether you have four or two people, you still use the same amount of heat, and whether you have two people or 10 people, the light is on.” (Rachel Clark, Psychology Today) She says "our divorce did not solve our “problems” and, rather, brought on many more difficult and painful challenges. So even though we’d endured the finality and ferocity of a divorce, and even though were both in love with and living with new partners, and even though we had truly believed our marriage was over—in our quest to understand our intense post-divorce difficulties—we began talking." Look up her reconciliation story - it is truly worth trying!!

"Child poverty is an ongoing national concern, but few are aware of its principal cause: the absence of married fathers in the home. According to the U.S. Census, the poverty rate for single parents with children in the United States in 2008 was 36.5 percent. The rate for married couples with children was 6.4 percent. Being raised in a married family reduced a child’s probability of living in poverty by about 80 percent." .......from The Heritage Foundation, "Marriage: America's greatest weapon against childhood poverty"