Post Comment Preview Comment
To reply to a Comment: Click "Reply" at the bottom of the comment; after being approved your comment will appear directly underneath the comment you replied to.
View All
Favorites
Bloggers
Recency  | 
Popularity
Page:  « First  ‹ Previous  1 2 3 4 5  Next ›  Last »  (12 total)
photo
strangeways1
welcome to the jungle , every med just makes it be
01:43 PM on 05/29/2013
anybody have advice on how to at least get a hug from your wife? i do chores and buy her flowers etc once in a while. take her out to eat, but i always initiate the hugs, and i sometimes see a sneer on her face or an eye roll. that cant probably be good but i dont know.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
A 1 Percenter
Clinton:What difference at this point does it make
02:24 PM on 05/29/2013
Well, my friend, welcome to the new world. Woman have long complained about the lack of sensitivity from men. Now that they enjoy all that comes with what was a male dominated work world, including heart attacks (WHOOP-EE), we are feeling the lack of affection from women. My advice to you is be yourself and try as hard as you can to not become embittered .
photo
strangeways1
welcome to the jungle , every med just makes it be
03:27 PM on 05/29/2013
good advice, but i would like physicality once in a while!!
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
johfrewal
I love my dog Chuco
03:41 PM on 06/02/2013
Dude maybe she needs to see a doctor she might be not interested for a medical reason.
photo
strangeways1
welcome to the jungle , every med just makes it be
03:48 PM on 06/02/2013
well she has been seeing one for bad back pain, but this started almost a  year ago
11:31 AM on 05/29/2013
I understand the author's experience and I don't want her to feel bad about her decision but....you're telling me that in the 6 months you were married, you didn't take the time to listen to each other's bodies?
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
photo
11:28 AM on 05/29/2013
I do think that some people who have unusual or even deviant desires, rather than face them, simply supress them. This is easier to do when one isn't having sex. The danger is that someone could marry and then discover that say, the only way to please his or her spouse would be to engage in extremely odd or even very distasteful behaviors. That doesn't make for a happy marriage and frankly, someone who is into S &M or feet or water sports or whatever would be much happier being upfront with themselves and seeking out someone who has the same desires rather than supressing these feelings and then leaving both parties disatisfied after marriage, with the average spouse (and sometimes the deviant one too) in the dark as to exactly why things aren't working out. People who are religious are MORE likely to pretend they do not have these desires or even that they aren't gay, for example, because they believe these desires are sins, and that creates most of the problems. And yes, this happens more than one would ever guess. Way more. So don't gamble away your future on the assumption that the chances of this being a problem are small.
02:41 PM on 06/29/2013
I disagree, I think that if a person has strange sexual tendencies it will come out long before marrying that person. If you have a relationship based on open, honest communication with that person, you should be able to talk with them about anything, especially sex. And not for nothing, but for most people, kinky sexual desires don't tend to manifest until long after one has begun having sex and has gotten bored with conventional methods. I find it highly unlikely that a person who is so into having sex that they've developed a weird fetish would tolerate being with someone who's waiting for marriage for long. Most waiting-until-marriage people tend to end up with others who are similarly less experienced. Also, many of the Christians whose articles I've read pertaining to waiting until marriage say nothing at all about pretending sexual desire doesn't exist, or feeling dirty or guilty when they experience those feelings. Quite the opposite: most were very enthusiastic about sex and said they could hardly wait to get married so they could have it. They also tended to report enjoying sex more than their unmarried or non-waiter wedded friends.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
jack spradlin
11:08 AM on 05/29/2013
my high school sweet heart wanted to wait till we were married to have sex. i was a typical horny kid but loved her and waited. after we got married we found out she didnt want to have sex period. she thought it was nasty. so after putting up with a lot of sexual frustration and anger we were divorced. i have had a pretty good life since then and that was 40 years ago. my advice is do have sex before marriage or you may regret it later if you dont.
10:57 AM on 05/29/2013
I think it's all about your personal and individual relationship. Just like people, every relationship is different and can't be combined into one category. My husband and I did the deed the first time we meet and 7 years later still can't get enough of each other. My sister and her hubby on the other hand waited to get married to have sex and they have a great sex life as well. I have a friend however that was engaged to a guy for two years having occasional sex got married and after a year decided it would work, lack of passionate sex being one of the issues. We are all different, what's right for one person may be wrong for another.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
fireball101586
loving my husband, loving life
11:24 AM on 05/29/2013
exactly and totally agree. Kind of what I keep saying lol it is a personal choice and whether you have sex before or wait until after married, will not guarantee how your marriage will be. No couple or people are the same. Waiting worked for me and my hubby. I have a friend who didn't wait and she is 3 yrs behind me in married happily years. And I have seen the reverse. Each to their own.
10:56 AM on 05/29/2013
You HAVE to have sex before marriage....................so you'll know you will have sex after marriage. Sex................what's the big deal?
Atheist SSBBW
Your words tell me about yourself.
09:40 AM on 05/29/2013
A sexless courtship is just asking for trouble.

Please, people, get laid before you get married.
Terence Manuel
Love Much, Laugh Often, Appreciate Life!
12:30 PM on 05/29/2013
And a sexless is even bigger trouble!
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
johfrewal
I love my dog Chuco
04:01 PM on 06/02/2013
You may think there is no God but you are in error, can you explain why If man is a result of random chance why tamoebas oozing along in shallow ponds boast a genome 200 times as large as those of Albert Einstein or Stephen Hawking. If random chance is how we were made we would HAVE too be more complex than any other creature on earth and we are not!
Atheist SSBBW
Your words tell me about yourself.
04:32 PM on 06/02/2013
What is your comment about evolution doing in a thread about sex before marriage? Let me guess. More of those wonderful Christian morals.
At any rate, the human species did not evolve from "tamoebas" (sic). We evolved from our immediate mammalian predecessors. You are misunderstanding the concept of chance. Each link in the evolutionary line marked a practical, plausible transition.
Please do us all the favor of questioning your Christian dogma and exploring some honest-to-goodness, agenda-free science books. There is a whole world of reality out there waiting for you, and I promise it is a wonderful place.
photo
wakohnen
Human opinions....a fascinating study....
09:25 AM on 05/29/2013
This looks like a list of excuses only applicable to less than 1% of couples. I guess people will never learn that marriage is more than just SEX. It is connecting at a spiritual level when you know what each other is thinking with only a glance. It is a feeling of fulfillment knowing that your spouse completes you. It is being in a hurry to get home after a long days work knowing that your spouse is waiting for you there. If you cannot be happy together WITHOUT SEX, then do NOT get married, period! I know that when my spouse and I both reach our 70's, sex will be a non-issue and we will still be able to be happy together.
11:19 AM on 05/29/2013
My grandparents are in their 70s and STILL do the nasty, apparently.....don't ask me how I know this.
photo
wakohnen
Human opinions....a fascinating study....
11:33 AM on 05/29/2013
I don't want to know....
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
snapper123
I Love You So Much (It Hurts)
08:07 PM on 05/29/2013
Not sure why you mentioned this.
09:20 AM on 05/29/2013
There's one great reason to abstain that trumps all this garbage. It's about fidelity. If you have sex before marriage, you have cheated on your future spouse. Take the examples in the article about those who waited and found these incapatabilities. In every case, if sex determines that you shouldn't be married, then you have just cheated on the person you will one day marry.

Many who abstain from sex until after marriage remain married for life because they find that a sex life is a learning, nurturing, and growing experience that you work on throughout marriage. To think that the first short period of time will be the best it can be is ludicrous. This article is a bunch of garbage. Speaking as one married for 40 years with 4 children and 17 grandchildren, with less than perfect sex, I can attest to the fact that marriage is not all about sex. It's about love and commitment. My advice is, DON'T CHEAT - EVER!
11:22 AM on 05/29/2013
While I don't agree with the "cheating on your future spouse" bit, I think you are right about learning from each other. Isn't that what marriage is all about, dedicating every aspect of your lives to one another?
09:15 AM on 05/29/2013
Of my friends, those who waited to have sex after marriage are still married, but most of those who had sex before marriage are now divorced. We all got married in our mid 20s, after we had finished college.
Regarding sexual chemistry, I disagree with the article. You can have a lot of sexual chemistry without having done it. Jessica, the girl mentioned in the article, and her spouse had deeper issues.
12:51 PM on 05/29/2013
How do you know if you have chemistry if you don't try? Not arguing, just curious :)
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
photo
09:10 AM on 05/29/2013
Why does sex have to be involved in a relationship?
11:48 AM on 05/29/2013
*face palm*
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
photo
04:14 PM on 05/29/2013
I know it's shocking for some (small) minds to understand but there are relationship that don't have sex
Terence Manuel
Love Much, Laugh Often, Appreciate Life!
12:34 PM on 05/29/2013
It does not. However, that would require agreement to such by both partners.

I would not have a relationship with a woman without sex. Has zero appeal to me.

But, to each his own..
photo
bahramthered
Are you sure Rs arn't Decepitcons in desguise?
08:41 AM on 05/29/2013
All I'm going to say is Jodi Arias. Slipping those panties off and finding that is reason enough to check long before thinking of rings.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
LemmonHerk
03:04 AM on 05/29/2013
I wouldn't even bring home a pair of shoes without trying them on first -- not even on sale. Why would I be LESS careful about a life-long mate?!
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Goldie Treasure
Biracial.26.Sarcastic.Daughter
02:56 AM on 05/29/2013
Since the age of 18 I have given my body away to 2 men who did not deserve it. I do not plan on doing that again, so no more sex before marriage.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
SasZ2
12:16 PM on 05/29/2013
Good for you!!! :-)
This user has chosen to opt out of the Badges program
photo
katzpjz
Behavior, not beliefs, make a better person.
02:24 AM on 05/29/2013
Do you buy shoes without trying them on? Premarital sex in a committed serious relationship should be part before any couple gets married. God did not decides for us humans to hold off on sex until marriage; man did.
photo
KadyFox
My Crow. Bye, Yo'
03:13 AM on 05/29/2013
HA! I always tell people that you wouldn't buy a car without taking it for a test drive first!
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
David Glenn Allen
04:57 AM on 05/29/2013
But we're not cars.
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
clinttamm
09:02 AM on 05/29/2013
How can you even equate a car with a human? It says much about U.
photo
HUFFPOST SUPER USER
fireball101586
loving my husband, loving life
07:53 AM on 05/29/2013
And some of us spent the time getting to know the other one without the sex, you know on an emotional level. People aren't shoes or cars. And even without the sex, the chemistry was truly there. We spent our dates getting to know each other, you know talking with a LOT of kissing. Over half the people I know that had sex before they got married, some more then once, are divorced. Seems trying that "shoe" on didn't help them one bit.
photo
bahramthered
Are you sure Rs arn't Decepitcons in desguise?
08:18 AM on 05/29/2013
And the divorce rate among purity pledges are over half. Divorce rates in the bible belt are even higher.

Sex before marriage isn't much of an indicator of it's going to last but can be a good indicator if you should get married.