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01:40 PM on 06/18/2013
I dont need to try very hard, women have actually approached me more often, then I them. Its only gotten easier the older I get too, I know guys say this alot, but its been my truth most my life...
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blacksmithn
Iron, cold iron, is master of them all...
01:36 PM on 06/18/2013
After reading that hot mess of dubious restrictions, I'm so glad I'm not single anymore.
01:30 PM on 06/18/2013
Stuff like this is why guys don't even try. Seriously just go to a public place and see how many men have the stones to even approach a woman. Almost none. Because of attitudes and list of rules ten miles long that attractive women have.
01:48 PM on 06/18/2013
...and that women who only think they're attractive have.
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Still Posting
FOX: Devolving their viewers since 2002.
03:17 PM on 06/18/2013
'Lists' have killed a lot of guys' interest in the dating scene.

What sane person enjoys being summarily judged within seconds of meeting her?
04:17 PM on 06/18/2013
The men who are instantly judged attractive enjoy it a lot more than the ones instantly judged unattractive.
01:26 PM on 06/18/2013
Be yourself, of course if you self happens to be a nice guy you are just out of luck.

Great advice, lady.
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01:11 PM on 06/18/2013
Another tip:

Don't ignore the lads when it comes to playtime. The Massive Unit needs attention, of course, but the full, meaty lads that help him do his business need care and focus, too.

Just a word of advice, Melanie. Again, you're welcome.
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Kimberly Owsley
Love me for who I am, not who you want me to be.
12:47 PM on 06/18/2013
Is "negging" seriously a thing for males over the age of 12? Seriously, insult her and hope it gets her to try extra hard to get you to approve of her? Do you stick gum in her hair before asking her out too? 9_9
07:42 PM on 06/28/2013
Works plenty well from what I've seen. Negging doesn't need to be insulting. You can just playfully screw with her.
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Kimberly Owsley
Love me for who I am, not who you want me to be.
12:54 AM on 06/29/2013
I'm still quite sure it would only work on certain kinds of women... 
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Briteleaf
12:16 PM on 06/18/2013
You're the "Vixen" who's way too full of herself for me to ever wish to approach. It's always sooo much easier to sit in the place of power where you're the one who is the critic and the decision maker. Problem is that such egotists do not make good partners. Compromise and empathy are their weak suits because they are so self absorbed. The irony is that they so often deserve the self serving who are attracted to their good looks.
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JimBobPete
If
12:00 PM on 06/18/2013
A well kept secret worth revealing to both sexes, - and the undecided.
What normal MEN want most is WOMEN.
What normal WOMEN want most is MONEY. ( That devine pair of shoes and outfit is worth doing it for ). Just flash, or promise, the appropriate amount, descreetly, and all her 10 points are welcomed, forgiven, AND forgotten.! Can you hear the ah's and moan's.? Yep, you heard right.!
Of course, if you look like Clark Gable, "frankly, you don't give a damn." All you need is your birthday suit.!
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wittyusername 29
Londoner in the USA
12:51 PM on 06/18/2013
It's truly saddening for me that you think so negatively about my entire gender.
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JimBobPete
If
01:29 PM on 06/18/2013
And it's truly saddening to me that you don't want to leave your cosy place under your rock and face reality.
To answer your point, NO, I don't think negatively about women. Just read my comment more carefully and you'll notice that I love women MORE than money. It's not my fault, I was made that way. And it's not your fault you want to look like sex objects, - among other things. You were made that way. Nothing wrong with that. It's only natural.!
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Guardian Weasel
"Fact vs. Opinion" is not a debate.
02:33 PM on 06/18/2013
Clark Gable? "Birthday suit"?

No offense, but are you 70?
11:47 AM on 06/18/2013
Kudos to the author for pointing out that the rules she proposes are for women like her. Women who are not like her, according to the author, are low self esteem losers. Of course the woman that the author considers a low self esteem loser might just be exactly what a confident man with self respect would call a more attractive alternative.

Here is the good news for men: Ignore her rules and you will screen out "women like her"!
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Still Posting
FOX: Devolving their viewers since 2002.
03:43 PM on 06/18/2013
Please see Volume II; Item #12; subsection B; paragraph D; of Addendum 23.

It clearly states "Don't be old"

'Old' is defined under footnote #2a; but subject to change based upon said List Holder's current age.
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09:23 PM on 06/18/2013
I think I love you.
Hambone1
When not just ANY bone will do
11:31 AM on 06/18/2013
You didn't say anything about older men, so.......................What are you doing Saturday? Let's do dinner.
11:31 AM on 06/18/2013
I don't think there is a really a whole lot to complain about here. Is it contradictory? Yes. Is it vague? Of course. You're surprised? How many women have you met? This gal is a piece of ass. She gets to call the shots. Moaning about it is like pissing into the wind and about as enjoyable. Furthermore, if you believe this was actually written with the intention of helping men pick-up women, as opposed to momentarily entertaining a cadre of loyal, and almost exclusively female, followers, then you must have missed out on pretty much everything that happened in grade-school. There's nothing women enjoy more than discussing men. This isn't instruction. It's gossip. Allow me to distill her thoughts for you: "Men. Be attractive. Also, approach me when I happen to be in the right mood emotionally and physically. I might let you fuck me." That's it. Three billion years of evolution has not produced any meaningful variance in those basic dynamics of baby-making. At the end of the day it's called "getting lucky" for a reason. Although ladies should understand that this is the reason we pursue as many women as we possibly can. There's really no rhyme or reason to how it plays out so we're basically aiming a shotgun into the weeds and hoping to bring down something. Don't give me a hard time on the shotgun analogy. I'll just blame your period.
12:36 PM on 06/18/2013
well said good sir!
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Shaun Hensley
The American Experiment has failed
04:06 PM on 06/18/2013
Do you have a mouse in your pocket?
10:53 AM on 06/18/2013
This is a very well thought out piece! Good writing style and flow, but I have some issue with the message.

In 6 you say "Yes, some of those are paradoxical. Hi. Have you met me? I'm a woman."
This particular phrasing is EXACTLY what women have been fighting against for generations. Every one of us covers most emotional states and/or demeanors regularly, no need to justify your humanity by reminding us that you're female.

In 1 you say "In fact, I have mad respect for men who hit on women -- you're 20 times better than the guy who stands in the corner and does nothing. Even if you do everything wrong, I salute you for being a man."
Similar to above, you use a gender reference to describe an idea. Having courage isn't the same thing as being a man. I'd also like to point out that men aren't the only ones allowed to hit on people, but I agree that its much more courageous and commendable to act than skulk in the corner.
12:07 PM on 06/18/2013
I personally do not believe any woman ever respects any man MORE for trying to pick her up, if she doesn't like him enough to say yes.
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Professor Wagstaff
My micro-bio is a lie.
02:26 PM on 06/18/2013
Well, I think to a certain extent the attention is appreciated. However, I suspect that the rejected guy is more likely to hear a sotto voce "A little out of his league wasn't he?" than "Gotta respect the clod for trying" as he makes the long walk back.
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CSKAP
Morlock or Eloi?
10:47 AM on 06/18/2013
Seems that the message is,
Don’t start with a “plan” to seduce someone.
Act like an actual person who is interested in another person.
If you are not interested in the person but just the look of them or scoring
If you are thinking
“OK, step 1 then step 2”you may already have lost.
I was a moderately attractive guy and always pretty successful in meeting some fascinating woman, even married one.
GHO
Sooner or later you run out of other peoples money
10:19 AM on 06/18/2013
Because the whole dating world is already so uncomplicated, thank God someone came along to add her list of completely vague, and even contradictory, "rules" to follow.
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wittyusername 29
Londoner in the USA
10:49 AM on 06/18/2013
It's funny so many men here are getting bent out of shape about this... as if "don't put yourself down" is a huge insult.

Women eat up anything telling them how to be "better" for a man (hello Cosmo, Redbook et al).

We are attracted to the idea of dating better, being a better date, etc etc.

Some men seem to be insulted, then keep doing what they've always done, and wonder why they don't get results...
12:04 PM on 06/18/2013
I don't think men get bent out of shape about the truth, viz "You can do everything 'right' and still get rejected. You can do everything 'wrong' and still get a date." We know the truth; we live that particular truth (that women are so random) especially. What we get bent about is that we are supposed to like things being that way. For example, when women dismiss a man to the friendzone dustbin, he is expected to be pleased about it, and it is the women who get bent when he claims to instead dislike how women treat him dismissively.
GHO
Sooner or later you run out of other peoples money
12:26 PM on 06/18/2013
That women "eat up" advice from Cosmo is on them, but I think you'll find men are happy for a glimpse into the female psyche and some GOOD advice. Vague and contradictory advice is not helpful in any endeavor. The advice offered here makes me very happy that I am married and long out of this crap.

Don't be cocky or self-deprecating - that's quite the needle to thread in the course of one, probably brief, conversation.
Be sexual, but don't touch me! And here's the kicker..."unless it's obvious I'm really into you". Obvious to whom? The mindreader I brought with me?
Don't assume I don't like whiskey or don't know anything about cars...even though both things are true.
Don't try to make me laugh - unless you think of something genuinely funny to say...in whose opinion? Guess I'll be asking the mindreader again.
Don't take it personally? Uh...it is personal - unless she's a prostitute, this was not a business transaction the guy was floating, it was very much personal. Good advice would be to take the rejection with class and move on instead of pouting, whining, or being a jerk about it, but make no mistake, it IS personal.

Best of all, after a laundry list of do's and don'ts, we get "show up as you" - you mean unless you happen to be cocky, shy, a little touchy-feely, a jokester, or a "nice guy" - in which case, you best show up as someone else.
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10:09 AM on 06/18/2013
Good advice, sort of.
You had me until the words "mad respect" got smashed together and hurled in my direction.

Suddenly I was transported to a dingy college bar in Jersey where phrases like "sweet bro" and "wicked cool" get "mad respect".

Sorry, but it's a "no".