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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Sofia Kungl
12:36 PM on 08/21/2013
I wouldn't have a problem with sluts, well, I don't think that my concept of slut is the same as yours. I don't think that women who enjoy sex with their partners are sluts or even women who participate in anonymous sex or unnusual sex acts. The people I call sluts are the people who do all these things inconsiderately. Men who cheat on their partners are disgusting and I blame them for their acts but why are people always telling me that the "other woman" doesn't have any responsibilities and blaming the other woman in a cheating is a double standard? Sluts of the world, why do you have to sleep with people you know have significant others at home? Why can't you keep your vaginas in your pants when you know that your acts will hurt a person in the end even if they should know that they are being cheated on? There are people who are so addicted to the fact that they can have sex with whoever they want that they start to pick partners according to how much pain and troblue they can cause by having sex with them. Why should I celebrate people to whom sex is not merely an act of joy that they want to repeat as often as possible but also need to be in the center of attention with these acts? The trashier the thing is the more they want it. These people need help, not celebration.
01:34 PM on 08/21/2013
I think there's a difference between what you're describing (which is despicable and SHOULD be called out and shamed!) and someone who is unattached and enjoys sex with other unattached people, even multiple unattached people. And we've all been guilty of slut-shaming, even myself. I've cattily remarked to friends who have revealed that they've had a fling, or jumped into bed after only one or two dates, or whatever. And I've had it leveled against me, again mostly by friends being funny ... but not always.

But it's when STRANGERS or NON-friends start leveling those accusations, start making those judgements and pointing fingers and whatever ... that's when it becomes hurtful and hateful, and BECAUSE of that, even the more innocuous needs to stop. Including by myself and my friends. Because my daughters are listening to the jokes, and absorbing them ... and later, they'll have to deal with boys (and girls!) who DON'T see them as jokes.
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Doctor Nick
Hi, everybody!
05:37 PM on 08/21/2013
Well said. I think the important thing to keep in mind (and that is sort of left out of the article) is respect for yourself and respect for the feeling of others - as long as you have those things and practice safe sex then there is no problem with any kind of sexual expression no matter how kinky or promiscuous.
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Monica Rega
12:04 PM on 08/21/2013
Keep on doing what you do Ms. Stefanie Williams. Thank you. You are Awesomeness
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02:53 PM on 08/21/2013
I second that!!
12:01 PM on 08/21/2013
Slut shaming is a relic of the past. We should all be cool with each others sexual desires. I love women that are cool with their sexuality. We would be better off as a society if more people got laid and stopped being so uptight about sex. Men think about sex every other second. Whats the big deal if women are like us too?
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Selene Cusping
Annoying MRM & radical feminists forever
11:56 AM on 08/21/2013
"Slut" is a ridiculous word. It's meant as a put down but it's actually used against women who are in control of their bodies and their lives. Who get pleasure from their bodies. As though that is a bad or a frightening thing. Well, apparently it is to people who still like the idea of controlling women through shame, threats or actual violence.

I'm a slut and proud of it. I enjoy my body. I have slept with men. There are pictures of a naked me in the hands of men.

But I am also a loving partner, an empathetic friend, a supportive sister, a wonderful aunt, a talented writer, a strong manager, an affectionate dog owner and a good cook. You can TRY to reduce me to my bits (and who I share them with) but you would fail miserably and just look like a fool.
11:53 AM on 08/21/2013
Frank Talk, every one think they are bad and yet they do some things that only Humans wih Human feelings does, a religious narration explained how a slut was forgiven by God for attending to a stray Dog that need water which every one was passing by. After all the services they provide are essential services that can't be provided by any other person but them.
10:50 AM on 08/21/2013
You rock. People who resort to use of the term "slut" to judge women (mostly) for enjoying her own body and sexuality are either desperately repressed or jealous. Thanks for being open about your life!
10:49 AM on 08/21/2013
I work in public schools as a counselor and sex has become the cool thing to do and girls feel pressured to give blow jobs and be sexual (as young as eleven!!!) so that they don't get called prudes and so that every guy in school doesn't stop talking to them. I think parading around defending your "slutty slut" -ness as being preferred under the facade of feminism is selfish. Being comfortable with your body and sexuality is great. Trying to normalize sleeping with over twenty guys and having naked pictures leaked is ridiculous. Girls need to feel okay with saying no thanks and not feel like being a slut makes them a hip feminist. Experiment with sex but only if YOU want to. Your female body is perfect and if you have a strong sex drive, super! Just be confident and smart about it.
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11:33 AM on 08/21/2013
But slut shaming creates the environment in which there are prudes. Take away the slut shaming and it *IS* about individual choice. Women's sexual choices become their own business.
11:58 AM on 08/21/2013
Labels are a bad idea in general. I just don't think that girls need to feel that either is right or wrong and that trying to normalize one over the other does more harm than good.
When I used the term slut I meant it in the same sense that the author used it.
12:26 PM on 08/21/2013
You may want to read their post. They are afraid to be called Prudes because everybody else is having sex. That isn't "Slut Shaming" creating the environment. I get that you have that view and you wanted to present it, but you should read the post you are responding to before just cutting and pasting.
11:53 AM on 08/21/2013
There is a big difference between an adult with a career being sexually exposed that way and an 11 year old (or anyone under 17). She's not trying to normalize it... she's stating how it already is a normality. We have vaginas, and most of us use them! Men do sexual things too, and yet the same level of shaming doesn't reach them. Perhaps that isn't a good defense to not shame a woman, but it definitely doesn't change the sexism surrounding it.
10:44 AM on 08/21/2013
Perfect article is perfect!
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Haleyhompstead
Living not the length, but the width of life.
10:37 AM on 08/21/2013
Well I pretty much think this woman is awesome.
10:31 AM on 08/21/2013
I saw this article on Facebook and I love your boldness. I was very promiscuous in my past and I don't regret anything. Cause I AM A GOOD PERSON! I am not afraid to be honest with myself, my past and anyone else. I am now in a committed relationship for almost 3 years. And he loves me just as well. I guess I am trying to say is...THANK YOU
10:19 AM on 08/21/2013
Dear Stephanie,
I am pretty sure I love you. And not in a slutty slut way...not that there's anything wrong with that, but in a "you are an amazing writer who just put into words my thoughts and feelings about this subject". So for that, thank you. And all of you (especially the teenage girls who think death is a better option right now) who are sitting in your rooms saying, "I want to die because so-and-so called me a slut"? Put on your big girl panties and go out and punch that person in the nose. Or better yet, find the cure for cancer, write an amazing book, or jog 10km.
10:15 AM on 08/21/2013
1 of 2 People have all different sex drives - both male and female. It is males who feel inadequate when their mate's sex drive is stronger - thus the label and malice. And those below trying to psychologically analyze whether a woman with a strong sex drive is an anomaly reserved only for the sexually abused - KNOCK IT OFF. Don't ever apologize for your sex drive. There is a line where a person crosses from being sexual to being a sexual addict - and if your sex drive has risen to the level where it is interfering with a life balance of LOTS of good things, there is reason to be concerned. But just having a strong sex drive is not something to be apologetic about - so long as you keep commitments when you make promises, etc.
09:13 AM on 08/21/2013
Do you think women are calling you slut more than men?
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MrNateNickle
With sufficient thrust, pigs fly just fine.
08:35 AM on 08/21/2013
i'll take a slut over a tease any day . lol. j/k . this is one of the better pieces i read from huff in a while . kudos stefanie .
08:32 AM on 08/21/2013
Promiscuous behavior is natural for some, but in other cases it's due to some sort of sexual abuse in childhood.

We tend to think of these people as "broken" and unable to maintain a serious relationship.

Men are also territorial about the women they date. That's natural too.

Then again, some people try and make themselves feel better, by putting other's down.
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David Gomez
10:21 AM on 08/21/2013
Men are territorial about the women they date - you might think it is natural but it doesn't make it right. But, women are also territorial about the men (or women) they date. I think it is a mindset as I am not territorial about it.
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Selene Cusping
Annoying MRM & radical feminists forever
12:02 PM on 08/21/2013
Jealousy is an emotion that many people share: but just because it is "natural" does not mean you can't manage it. Most jealousy arises out of insecurity ("I'm not good enough") and the rest is a fear of loss ("because I'm not good enough").

Neither have anything to do with the individual: you can put a burqa on women and some guys will not feel secure. And insecure, jealous women could put those tracking anklets on their men and still go into jealous rages over a longer drive home.

There is nothing in our relationships or our attitudes that we cannot manage. If we choose not to do so, it is because we see value in being controlling, having more power, abusing someone else, etc.