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10:22 AM on 07/01/2010
"Are You Addicted to the Past?"

YES!, if you call a love of History an addiction to the past.
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Graywolf48
If you’re not at the table, you’re on the menu
11:09 AM on 07/01/2010
Love of history I would not call an addiction to the past. Wanting to repeat history over and over I would. There is a difference if only people could separate the two concepts. If, however someone would call a love of history an addiction, I wish more people were so afflicted.
10:01 AM on 07/01/2010
AZBunny - I totally understand where you are coming from. I grew up poor and first husband pushed me into over $16,000.00 in debt due to his "keep up with the Jones" lifestyle. We divorced and he paid nothing on this debt. It took me 12 years to pay it off. I remain resentful and of course will not talk to him or be friends. I struggle to let this go because if I had not gone so far in debt I would be much further ahead of my goals. However, I know I need to stop thinking about the past and move on - all I can say is it is a daily struggle and that is why I read this article. Keep looking for your peace and I hope we both find it.
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stvstreett
09:30 AM on 07/01/2010
you just wrote the book on the tea party. its as simple as that.
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ShellyintheWest
No pain or trial that we suffer is ever wasted.
10:37 AM on 07/01/2010
lame
11:04 AM on 07/01/2010
Yep. Resists change, stuck in the past......you could be a conservative, tea bagger.
09:29 AM on 07/01/2010
Tom Ferry: Are You Addicted to the Past?

Trigger points - To bring up the past - reather good or bad - - - Exsample: That credit report - commercial - There going around - rounding up bad credit scores - People that screwed over - start thinking what was done to them - - - and sub-thinking - - - It's implanting the idea - lets go round them up - - - Who the H*LL - do they think they are - they screwed us over - - - and now going to round us up over what they did - OHHH H*LL NO - Thats not going to happen .... The way people want to live is one thing - - - While the way people are forced to live is totally another . GET-IT - LIVE-IT ...
shrinktalkingheads
Battling misinformation since April 9, 1865
09:22 AM on 07/01/2010
This is a question best asked of the Republicant Congresscritters, by the numbers:

1. You Constantly Talk About the Past
Fixated on the Bush years: tax cuts for the rich, deregulation, wars of choice, oil addicted, anti- healthcare reform,

2. You Resist Change
Morphed into the party of no, obstructing every piece of legislation, addicted to the filibuster

3. You Continually Fail to Plan for a Better Future
Plan to reinstate failed Bush era policies the instant they regain control. Place political party desires ahead of National interests, every time.

4. You Argue for the Past that Things Used to Be Better
See #1 and #2

5. You've Allowed Relationships to Become Stale
Embarrassing performances over health care reform, jobless benefits, Supreme Court confirmation hearings, support for big business over suffering Americans, out of touch with constituents needs

6. You have Physically or Mentally Peaked
See Republicant leaders Mitch McConnell, John Boehner, Eric Cantor, John MCain
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10:02 AM on 07/01/2010
Good one. Conservatism means resistance to change.
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Graywolf48
If you’re not at the table, you’re on the menu
11:12 AM on 07/01/2010
A high school history teacher once described conservatives as those people who stand in the middle of the river of progress and shout "No, go back! Go back!" I have never found a better description.
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Jerry Drake
09:11 AM on 07/01/2010
My parents. They're only in their early 60's but they act like they're 85. They don't know how any new technology works, their politics are stale, they don't buy new clothes or update anything in their house, and they don't eat right for their age or exercise properly. It's sad. It's like they're stuck in 1980 and just waiting for the end. I know people older than them that are cutting edge and still active in their careers. It's sad and scary.
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stvstreett
09:35 AM on 07/01/2010
let me guess, they only watch fox news ? i'd like to think there is hope for them but.. not untill you drag them away from tv.
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Jerry Drake
09:44 AM on 07/01/2010
Actually, that's not the case at all. Lifelong Kennedy Democrats - supported Obama. They watch CNN - or what's left of it. I think the producers at CNN should probably read this article in fact.
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ShellyintheWest
No pain or trial that we suffer is ever wasted.
10:38 AM on 07/01/2010
gotta love that fox envy
10:55 AM on 07/01/2010
You've just defined my father and step-mother. I just wish I knew how, even if I should, address this with them. They chalk it up to being "old" (a stand-by excuse for everything that befalls them). A couple Christmases ago, I sent them a digital picture frame, which they "watch" photos on like a slide show then put away until I send them another card full of pics. Then last Christmas, I bought them a flat-screen TV; since then, my father has done little but complain about having a hard time understanding how the remote works! Back in the Web TV days, my wife thought I should get them one of those toys (they do not own a computer and our only means of interstate communication with them is via phone or U.S. Mail). I scotched that idea knowing full well they wouldn't know what to do with it. Truth is, my father, who is 77, has been old as long as I've known him, in terms of his willingness to change and adapt. It's just now his advanced years give him an "out."
08:50 AM on 07/01/2010
15 years ago I was forced out of my good paying union job. I tried to make the best of things and go back to school to re-educate myself. Since then things have NOT worked out so well for me. Despite working very hard the highest paying I've managed to get paid me $13 an hour. I also had a boss that had anger and alcohol issues. She was even charged with assualt for brawling at our company Christmas party and punching out two police officers. ALL of her staff were on anti-depressants.
I finally decided that job was not for me when it became clear she was not going to change and the company was not going to replace her. ( I suspect she was sleeping with the owner)
So the other jobs I've had haven't been much better and the pay was much lower. So I'm VERY resentful of the crowd that had a hand in forcing me out of my old job. HOW do you propose I get over that? I have no idea WHERE these people are anymore.
I have no retirement savings, I have very little money to live on. Changing jobs hasn't result in upward mobility for me as they always say there is room for advancement, but there never is and there is never any money for a raise either. If it weren't for my husband, I'd be homeless.
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topkatnc
Give a stray cat or dog a chance .
09:06 AM on 07/01/2010
I bet what you have been through has happened to alot of people .. I wish I had the answer for you ... you sound like you would be a great employee to have ... it seems like there is always one person with whom you have to work with .. that is a jerk and they make it worse for everyone else ... good luck to you ..
09:32 AM on 07/01/2010
One thing that's helped me is changing my narrative from "they did to me" to "I chose." You chose to leave the job with the bad boss -- even though it paid well. That sounds like a smart choice. Claim it as a choice you made, saying you had other values more important than money. You haven't chosen the crummy economy or some of the other stuff, of course. But neither did the people who fired you 15 years ago -- a long time back.
In moving forward, can you look for ways of enriching your life that don't require money? Community gardens? public libraries that have passes you can borrow to visit museums? volunteering to help some kids? Free theater in the park? In other words, can you separate "my life today is too bleak" from "that awful unfair thing happened 15 years ago"?
10:50 AM on 07/01/2010
Enriching your life with these activities is all well and good but the fact of the matter is when you suffer a major financial lifestyle change, it's hard to be optimisitc. It's easy for those of us who have to advise those that no longer do...we still have decent jobs, cars that run, a decent safe place to live. I have a good friend who constantly postulates on how doing this or that will improve the community. Yes, it will, for the middle class white liberal dogooders who have never had to worry about feeding their kids...those who have been 'broke' but have never been poor. Poverty sucks, especially when you make just enough not to qualify for food stamps or assistance but not enough to live on.
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kerriberri
Let's Obviate Obfuscation!
11:14 AM on 07/01/2010
Wonderful advice; fanned!