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10:18 PM on 11/09/2010
Its a cause and effect thing. Shaping motivation is what allows the DL to address issues and people around him that disagree with him and motivate so many people without alienating them. This change inside him, leads to changes outside of him.
If more people were able to address grievances and accept people no matter what they are, they would be all be able to sleep better at night. Just ignoring an issue is not enough. Compassion and understanding is in short supply all around us. It is a sad state of affairs when people, who have so much in common, fail to be generous and kind to one another because of perceived differences. I hope that people (myself included) can be wise enough to look inside themselves and make the changes inside necessary to make changes outside of themselves.
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
10:35 PM on 11/09/2010
The Sane 1 - thanks for your comment

I will reply in the morning!

Cheers ~ Ed
09:39 PM on 11/09/2010
"Are we ignoring or dismissing someone, or are we genuinely concerned?"
This is a tough question for me because I have difficulty setting boundaries. Often dismissing someone is a huge victory for me because it helps me not to take on their responsibilities as my own and not to allow myself to be taken advantage of. Where do you draw the line?
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
10:31 PM on 11/09/2010
hi yogisusan -

I too have difficulty setting boundaries & get myself in trouble all the time

I tell you a secret - I think everyone is free & understand the wisdom & have compassion - I just think be aware is so natural & being screwed up is complicated -

so I never set boundaries & find myself in a tiff as they say (having a good sense of humor helps)

so then I too dismiss or better yet don't give second chances (unless it is a good ole friend)

You say:
"
Often dismissing someone is a huge victory for me because it helps me not to take on their responsibilities as my own and not to allow myself to be taken advantage of.

Where do you draw the line? ask yourself (check in) & follow your heart - you do know--

never compromise your peace! that is the bottom line - even when it is someone close - just say:

I will not lose my peace to whoever it is ----
07:18 AM on 11/10/2010
Thanks!! I appreciate your wisdom. Can't wait for your next post!!
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iRock
and that's all that needs to be said...
09:28 PM on 11/09/2010
It's so hard to think positively all the time when under stress as in my job. I'm a teacher of kids who don't have the best parents, lets face it. So many come to school thinking profanity is the norm and get mad when you discipline them. lol, i had a 12 year old today call me, his teacher, a 'street trash bytch.' I can laugh about it now, but BOY was I mad at the time. Not really at the student, (a little yes) but that I and other teachers constantly put up with this and we're expected to!

But I remembered, words don't hurt. I can only do my job and go home. I am grateful to have a life and the present is all that matters. It's good advice in theory, but it certainly takes practice. I will get better at letting things go eventually.

Reversing a negative mind requires making conscious choices to monitor your mind and allowing yourself to believe that it's OK to let things go sometimes. All the time actually.
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
10:34 PM on 11/09/2010
iRock - thanks for commenting ~

I will reply in the morning!
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
08:06 AM on 11/10/2010
There is no need to think positively - what is important is awareness (of course thinking positively can be quite beneficial but seeing clearly is best - meaning whatever is happening see it as it is neither positive or negative)

so awareness is the name of the game!

when we are aware then we are not sugar coating & we are being honest to ourselves!

As for the boy calling you names etc.

see that kid as suffering, angry & needy & know he is not calling you anything -

it is a call for HELP!

It is perfectly understandable to have been pissed off/upset & even wanting to respond etc.
do feel what you do and then come from a clear perspective and try to be underdtanding and compassionate if you can.

I luv when Byron Katie says:

If someone wants to yell at you - let them yell it makes them happy! :-))
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rikster
buy the ticket-take the ride
08:53 PM on 11/09/2010
thank you...
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
10:23 PM on 11/09/2010
FANNED & FAV'D
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feyangel
08:35 PM on 11/09/2010
I LOVE the Dalai Lama! Hearts to him!
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
08:56 PM on 11/09/2010
couldn't agree more feyangel -

you have great taste

I remember seeing and interview with Barbara Walters & the Dalai Lama

where she asks him if she could kiss his cheek & he smiles and she gives him a kiss

He was adorable
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khanti
Cultivator
07:07 PM on 11/09/2010
Pt.1
Here are the practical apllication of the 8 verses of transforming the mind.
To be effective, learn it by heart and apply them immediately where adversity arises in the mind.
The question is are we ready for change?

1st
With the thought of attaining enlightenment
For the welfare of all beings,
Who are more precious than a wish-fulfilling jewel,
I will constantly practice holding them dear.

2nd
Whenever I am with others
I will practice seeing myself as the lowest of all,
And from the very depth of my heart
I will respectfully hold others as supreme.
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
10:33 PM on 11/09/2010
khanti -

I will reply in the morning ~

much metta ~

Ed
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
07:27 AM on 11/10/2010
YES YES YES!

this is the most humble:
2nd
Whenever I am with others
I will practice seeing myself as the lowest of all,
And from the very depth of my heart
I will respectfully hold others as supreme
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khanti
Cultivator
07:07 PM on 11/09/2010
pt.2
3rd
May I examine my mind in all actions
And as soon as a negative thought occurs,
Since it endangers myself and others
May I firmly face and avert it.

4th
When I see beings of negative disposition
Or those oppressed by negativity or pain,
May I, as if finding a treasure, consider them precious,
For they are rarely met.

5th
Whenever others, due to their jealousy,
Revile and treat me in others unjust ways,
May I accept this defeat myself,
And offer the victory to others.

6th
When someone whom I have helped
Or in whom I have placed great hope
Harms me with great injustice,
May I see that one as a sacred friend.

7th
In short may I offer both directly and indirectly,
All joy and benefit to all beings, my mothers,
And may I myself
Secretly take on all of their hurts and suffering.

8th
May they not be defiled by the concepts
Of the eight mundane concerns,
And aware that all things are illusory,
May them, ungrasping, be free from bondage
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
11:16 PM on 11/09/2010
hey khanti - always happy when u show up!

you bring wisdom & compassion to our doorstep!

I will reply in the morning!

Many tashi delegs-

Jygme Powa ~ Ed
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
07:41 AM on 11/10/2010
This is appreciated - May all beings be happy!

This is the greatest teaching ~ may everyone read & benefit!

pt.2
3rd
May I examine my mind in all actions
And as soon as a negative thought occurs,
Since it endangers myself and others
May I firmly face and avert it.

4th
When I see beings of negative disposition
Or those oppressed by negativity or pain,
May I, as if finding a treasure, consider them precious,
For they are rarely met.

5th
Whenever others, due to their jealousy,
Revile and treat me in others unjust ways,
May I accept this defeat myself,
And offer the victory to others.

6th
When someone whom I have helped
Or in whom I have placed great hope
Harms me with great injustice,
May I see that one as a sacred friend.

7th
In short may I offer both directly and indirectly,
All joy and benefit to all beings, my mothers,
And may I myself
Secretly take on all of their hurts and suffering.

8th
May they not be defiled by the concepts
Of the eight mundane concerns,
And aware that all things are illusory,
May them, ungrasping, be free from bondage

FAVORITE -

Many tashi Delegs

Jygme Powa - Ed
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06:41 PM on 11/09/2010
You know I talk to G everyday. G for those that believe in a male deity is God. I believe in a Universal Deity which contains all within it. So I digress. I asked G what would it take to make me and the world happy. And G said; Make up your mind! So every morning I make up my mind to be more positive and I do pretty well until I read you know...politics!
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
07:11 PM on 11/09/2010
FANNED & FAV'D -

thank you for sharing

I luv god - whoever she is - she is a cool, wise loving woman -

Yes - I would truly say that I see god as impersonal - as Universal as formless consciousness

as a loving friend that is all loving!
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07:18 PM on 11/09/2010
You, too. :)
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07:28 PM on 11/09/2010
Wow, my friend, beautifully said! G is in everything for me, when I touch my puppy, when putting spices in my food, in the quiet with a good book I find G. Or better said, I become aware that G's been there all along. F&F!
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07:17 PM on 11/09/2010
Lol...fanned!
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07:30 PM on 11/09/2010
Back atcha. I have a tiny full grown chihuahua, one of the loves of my life.
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martintillier
human
04:13 PM on 11/09/2010
I have to admit Ed and Deb, much as I love to read your articles I have serious misgivings about the statement that "we are all equal" and that we are all "deserving of love", Does this equality extend to those who would wish us dead in the most painful way possible ? How could we be considered to all be equal ? Even in the purely biological sense this is demonstrably untrue. It cannot, for instance, be the case that everyone can love everyone, and be loved by everyone. The level of false moral equivalence required for this assertion is astounding, can we love the child-rapist who commits violence and murder upon his victims ? If we were able to travel backwards in time, could we truly feel love for the Gestapo torturers, the SS racist murderers of Jewish men women and children ? Ghengis Khan ? Stalin ? These are only the easy examples. I realise that you may say that we should learn to forgive because without forgiveness there will only be a continuation of a cycle of pain and suffering, but is the (to me), twisted logic of that assertion really true ? I don't think it is, the reason being that all the compassion and forgiveness ever displayed, has not stopped pain and suffering, murder, inequality, genocide and all the other negative behaviours with which the human mammal is endowed. The pacifist, by adopting the creed, has abdicated their moral duty to protect the weak.
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
06:32 PM on 11/09/2010
You say:
I have serious misgivings about the statement that "we are all equal" and that we are all "deserving of love", Does this equality extend to those who would wish us dead in the most painful way possible?

Yes we are all equal - we breathe the same air and live on this planet & want a good life BUT some may be kind and others killers!

we are talking about the person not the content - we are not judging whenever or not someone is a king or beggar

If you put a king & a beggar and put them under water & held them there they would give up everything just for 1 breath of air!

someone who has committed a horrible crime you would think should be put to death and may be put to death but if we can open our hearts to even a murderer instead of hating them or wishing them harm - I guarantee your karma- you benefit much more than you can imagine.

This is basic Buddhism 101

YES YES YES - as difficult as it is YES we can forgive them all

because if you don't they are still keeping you in suffering

a woman holocaust survivor said to another holocaust survivor :

"well have you been able to forgiven Adolf Hitler!" the other woman replied: NEVER!

the first said: "so you are still in prison!"

How could we be considered to all be equal ?
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
07:00 PM on 11/09/2010
You ask -

How could we be considered to all be equal ?

the mind is a perfect servant but a terrible master

when we come out of the mind and into the hearts we are equal

the breathe doesn't say -

you are a crook you get less breath

the heart doesn't say - less blood goes to you murderer

you are a killer you get to lose one arm & one eye

it is all unconditional

our minds make decisions that are caring & compassionate or create suffering

when we can give up these negative feelings we do benefit

those people who do harm - their karma will take care of them -

no one gets out of this earth game alive-

it may appear you can get away with things but you don't

in Buddhism they speak of rebirth -

well you can be sure Adolf Hitler has been in the hell realm for a long time!

may all beings be happy & free from suffering!
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feyangel
08:37 PM on 11/09/2010
AGREED -- Ed and Deb!
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BlueZoo
Independent voter, Independent thinker!
04:02 PM on 11/09/2010
My Mother's words just before she died changed my world. "Worry is like sitting in a rocking chair. It doesn't accomplish a damned thing. It just gives you something to do." I found in that simplistic wording so much truth and I stopped my incessant worrying! It was easier to accept that bad things do happen and that I had no control over something that has already occurred. Moving on, dealing with life and its ups and downs has changed my life. Negativity rarely enters into my consciousness now. This last election didn't go the way I had hoped but I did vote and that was all I could do. It's time to move away from that now. We worry ourselves into early graves over things we honestly have no control over!!!
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
04:51 PM on 11/09/2010
Hey BlueZoo -

I do love what u say here" or I should say ya mother:

"Worry is like sitting in a rocking chair. It doesn't accomplish a damned thing. It just gives you something to do."
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Dr. Judith Rich
Because life's too short to wear tight shoes.
03:45 PM on 11/09/2010
Hi guys,

Well, gratitude seems to be the theme of the day for transforming negativity and it is certainly so for me. I begin and end each day expressing gratitude for my many blessings. It sets the tone for my day and my sleep. In between, my intention is to be in gratitude for this live, this breath, this moment.

It's darned near impossible to be in a bad mood and be grateful at the same time. Gratitude works!

Much love,
Judith
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
04:49 PM on 11/09/2010
Hey Jude - you uplift & warm our hearts!

I luv what u say here:

"It's darned near impossible to be in a bad mood and be grateful at the same time. Gratitude works!"

Ommmmmmmmmmmm
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01:01 AM on 11/10/2010
Sometimes I get this feeling of simplicity; if I'm mad, I'm mad and if I'm happy, I'm happy. I just accept. Mostly just being present. Maybe I'll start meditating, that was so much fun.
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Anne Naylor
Celebrant, Weddings and Other Blessings
03:36 PM on 11/09/2010
Hi Ed and Deb,

What a fantastic phrase: Shaping motivation.

Transform negative mind? Love it, be patient with myself, forgive myself, affirm my heartfelt intentions each day, breathe more deeply the spirit into me, find something to make me laugh, look at my view, be grateful, talk to a friend. These are a few of my favourite things... !

Loving you,
Anne
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
03:52 PM on 11/09/2010
Hi Anne-

Yes you are so right luv - * Shaping motivation * is a great teaching!

What u say is so good I can only repeat it:

"Transform negative mind? Love it, be patient with myself, forgive myself, affirm my heartfelt intentions each day, breathe more deeply the spirit into me, find something to make me laugh, look at my view, be grateful, talk to a friend."
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Debby Carroll
Certified Wellness Coach
02:56 PM on 11/09/2010
When my oldest daughter faced tough times during her college years, we started a practice of emailing each other once a day with a short list of 2-3 things we were grateful for that day. It was my way of trying to help her focus, for even just a few moments each day, on something good that the universe sent her that day, even when so many things felt bad. I figured it would help me too. It did. Although we no longer do it (her times have thankfully improved), I think maybe I'll resurrect the practice myself, upon awakening. If I can start each day by bringing to my consciousness one positive thing in my life, it's bound to set me up for a day of more positive thoughts, right?
http://raisingamazingdaughters.wordpress.com
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
03:17 PM on 11/09/2010
Hi Debby - wonderful & uplifting comment -

I like what you say here:

"If I can start each day by bringing to my consciousness one positive thing in my life, it's bound to set me up for a day of more positive thoughts, right?

* absolutely *

http://rai­singamazin­gdaughters­.wordpress­.com
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Kari Henley
Make a Wish- now make it bigger.
02:41 PM on 11/09/2010
HI guys!
Great question. How to transform my negative mind?
being grateful has really become a habit, and bringing that practice to our dinner table helps. The other night there was a terrible storm. I had a restless sleep, and somewhere in my mind I kept saying to myself, "I am so glad I have a warm place inside tonight." It was an odd random thought that penetrated into my dreams without waking me up. In the morning we had our first snow and it was an icy cold mess. Somehow my consciousness was aware, and sent that message to my cold body to always find the silver lining.
Love you guys!
kari
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
03:14 PM on 11/09/2010
Hey there Kari - Great comment dear one!

I like what you said here:

"Somehow my consciousness was aware, and sent that message to my cold body to always find the silver lining."
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sonoffestus
Got smart & got out!
12:24 PM on 11/09/2010
Hi Guys..............My wife Debbie usually just gives me that "look". (It's worked for over 28 years.)

Be happy, spread love and kindness today and repeat...................SOF.

Off to paint my 90 year old M-I-L's kitchen today. What a cutie, 90 and still waking up loving life and the life around her..................... She'll be my Dalai Lama today.

Take care , everyone.
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Ed and Deb Shapiro
02:28 PM on 11/09/2010
hi hi sono -smiles & tons of love & goodness to you-

ya wife is spot on!

when u are loving and caring of others life is a joy & a blessing!