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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Helen Stapleton
10:11 AM on 03/01/2011
Among all my friends who have gotten divorced, the fathers all of a sudden develop a keen interest in their children AFTER the divorce. Before the divorce, the mothers often had a hard time getting them to do stuff with the babies.
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John Bobrowski
01:44 PM on 03/01/2011
Maybe in your group of friends, but I know a lot of fathers (including me) who had (and have) very different roles (from your friends' husbands/partners) in the upbringing of their children. But, it is likely that there is no clear cut pattern of parenting effort/labor/time division that can be assumed as generally applicible.
10:41 PM on 03/06/2011
How many of those mothers actively fought to minimize the role the fathers have in their children's lives after the divorce? I'd bet - all of them.

What a father did or didn't do prior to the divorce (as reported by... yes, you guessed it - MOTHERS) is inconsequential to what should happen after the divorce, particularly if a father is willing and able to do so.

Divorce changes roles dramatically. Maybe your friends don't understand that reality in an effort to rationalize their efforts to minimize dad's role after.
09:33 AM on 03/01/2011
"mothers reported on eight-category scale how often the nonresidential father visited the child face-to-face ranging from never to almost every day"

Can anyone else spot the glaring flaw in this methodology?
01:50 PM on 03/01/2011
I can.
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InVinoVeritasBC
Ask yourself why...
05:22 PM on 03/01/2011
1 Never
2 Once a week
3 twice a week
4 three times a week
5 four times a week
6 five times a week
7 six times a week
8 everyday
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flapjacks5
This is a world where birds eat horses.
08:36 AM on 03/01/2011
So, some non residential fathers see their children often, and some, not so often. Occasionally, over time, these meetings can either increase or decrease.

You've really shed some light on this very important subject. Thank you for using your position and education to help us understand the hard stuff.
01:51 PM on 03/01/2011
Well said
08:30 AM on 03/01/2011
Mr. Hughes, you've begun an important conversation. Exploring core reasons is the first step in improving things, and recognizing that every family is unique is the single most important place to start. Much like a medical professional looking to diagnosis the reason for symptoms, parenting time innovations have to start by taking an honest look at what produced under-involvement in the first place.
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belle27
08:03 AM on 03/01/2011
You lost me when you said "high contact" was once a week. This article doesn't really make sense, frankly. I would say that once a week is pretty much a lot less contact than any father would have if he were still with the mother.
10:57 AM on 03/01/2011
Isn't that the truth! Once a week is really bad, unless it is all weekend or something.
12:06 PM on 03/01/2011
I don't consider the 10 minute, once a week phone call my children receive from their father to be "high contact",
05:11 AM on 03/01/2011
You're that guy who made stuff up for your last "article." You're back again with another "article"? Well, I can tell you that in my case divorce reduced me from a full-time stay-at-home dad to a half time stay-at-home dad to currently a dad with two supervised visits a week. Divorce shuts fathers out of children's lives. People like you don't help. What we need is divorce reform.

Whatever the parenting plan, children of divorce lose half the parenting time. We also know divorce leads to increase fatherlessness, which leads to a whole bunch of problems for children including increased rate of suicide.
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HockeyMom
I was here before SP and will be long after her.
09:53 AM on 03/01/2011
and it is a huge indicator if kids make it in college.
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Nicole Dixson
10:05 AM on 03/01/2011
Why are your visits supervised?
01:51 PM on 03/01/2011
About a month ago my ex-wife hit me with one of these:
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/terri-weiss/the-lousiest-family-court_b_826342.html

I don't know if I'll ever get my son back now. Before the divorce I spent the whole day with him every day. Even after the divorce the longest I ever went without seeing him was a week, and I was never out of contact from him for more than a day. After that order, I went two weeks without any contact at all. Now all I get are two supervised visits a week. This was the story I wrote half a year ago about what my son and I went through:
http://news.mensactivism.org/node/15347

I will have to update it now to include this new, latest nightmare.