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PashaRu
Век живи - век учись.
01:41 AM on 07/13/2011
Big dames...fleshlight....Tony "is a big nerd"! Almost spit tea all over the keyboard on that one!
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MJinCanada
Safe from zombies until my 2nd cup of coffee
12:53 AM on 07/13/2011
Sometimes you have to blame the educational materials.

In social studies, my kids got a fill-in-the-blanks about Canada's government.

One was "The House of Commons seats _____ _______."

Most of the kids wrote "are green" instead of the desired answer "308 members."
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PashaRu
Век живи - век учись.
02:21 AM on 07/13/2011
And then there was the kid who wrote that "Francis Drake circumcised the world with a 100-foot clipper."
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MJinCanada
Safe from zombies until my 2nd cup of coffee
08:46 PM on 07/13/2011
That's awesome.

One of my sisters gets her words muddled like that and has nearly caused choking incidents.
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Puffin16
82.7% of all statistics are made up on the spot
12:43 PM on 07/13/2011
My son's third grade teacher routinely sent home spelling lists with misspelled words. To this day, he is a terrible speller!
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MJinCanada
Safe from zombies until my 2nd cup of coffee
08:49 PM on 07/13/2011
That's depressing. Typos are one thing, but in a spelling list? Wow.
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Meri B Kassner
Fire Captain/AEMT-CC/Pagan. Problem?
12:29 AM on 07/13/2011
It's amazing what kids think up and how adults interpret kids innocent misspellings! Hilarious!
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Mr Anonymous
I used to be Mr Anonymous, but then the NSA.....
10:57 PM on 07/12/2011
I really liked #24. It brought me back a few years.
10:47 PM on 07/12/2011
When I was in kindergarten I broke my arm and had to wear a cast. One day my teacher told me I would be going home in a car pool. I started crying and told her I wasn't supposed to get my cast wet.

I went to a private elementary school and it was common for parents to give tuition checks to to their children to give to the teachers. My neighbor gave her 9 year old son an envelope and said "This is tuition, give it to your teacher." When he came home she asked if he had given the envelope to his teacher. He said "Yeah but I forgot to wish in it."
i the ys
eternity takes no time at all
10:36 PM on 07/12/2011
# 15. To stop the river from flooding put "big dames" into the river. I wonder if the women have any say in the matter.
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onwisconsin
Trust women; protect choice.
08:30 PM on 07/12/2011
Regarding the one about mom getting drunk -- one never knows exactly what kids are going to tell the teacher.

I always started the school year out by telling the parents that if they would remember to stop and call me if they heard about something strange happening at school, I would remember to do the same when I heard something weird that happened at home. Most parents thought that was funny and it worked well to keep the lines of communication open.
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dil123
My micro-bio screams for justice!!
09:48 PM on 07/12/2011
My daughter almost gave a nun a heart attack when she told her she wanted to be a "flygirl" when she grew up.
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Mr Anonymous
I used to be Mr Anonymous, but then the NSA.....
10:52 PM on 07/12/2011
I'm suprised the nun knew what a flygirl was.
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BigFootJesus
It's alright Ma I'm only bleeding.
08:56 AM on 07/13/2011
My son told his DARE class that "My Dad smokes real cigarettes but my Mom doesn't. My Dad makes his own cigarettes and my Mom smokes those with him but not the real ones."
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MJinCanada
Safe from zombies until my 2nd cup of coffee
12:50 AM on 07/13/2011
We're members of the Society for Creative Anachronism and we've always explained this to teachers at the first opportunity because "We camped next to a guy who got killed three times in the war and his armour bit him" or "The queen taught us Viking rope weaving" or "Mom bought black sheep fleece -- three bags full" tend to be first taken as an overactive imagination.
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onwisconsin
Trust women; protect choice.
01:06 AM on 07/13/2011
I used to love parents like you. They kept my job interesting!
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LogicalMathMan
Math, Finance, English, Business Instructor
07:56 PM on 07/12/2011
My favorite one is: The science of classifying things is called racism.
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goodmarina
Most People use Religion to justify their bias!
08:29 PM on 07/12/2011
one of my favorites, too : )
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Meri B Kassner
Fire Captain/AEMT-CC/Pagan. Problem?
12:31 AM on 07/13/2011
that kid is going to be an activist when he/she grows up!
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LogicalMathMan
Math, Finance, English, Business Instructor
12:21 PM on 07/13/2011
No doubt.
06:53 PM on 07/12/2011
Either somebody's not feeding that goat enough hay, or he/she is a pervert.
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JerseyHooligan
Facts have a liberal bias
10:02 PM on 07/12/2011
its MY GOAT IS IN A PEN
10:53 PM on 07/12/2011
Yes, I know. I can't say the same for a lot of other people, though.
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Greatest Darthfruit
So, you the brains of this outfit, or is he?
06:45 PM on 07/12/2011
number 16 is HILARIOUS!! oh, these kids, aren't they great?
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sydneymoon
08:52 AM on 07/13/2011
It is very funny.
06:17 PM on 07/12/2011
These kids can't draw at all.
06:16 PM on 07/12/2011
I'm thankful for my balls, too. Some things never change.
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goodmarina
Most People use Religion to justify their bias!
08:30 PM on 07/12/2011
rotflmao!!
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Brigette
The history of liberty is the historyof resistance
05:41 PM on 07/12/2011
Kids are fantastic.
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jaypeg
work smarter, not harder
05:36 PM on 07/12/2011
Art trumps math... inspired! Love it!
[can you sense that I'm an artist and NOT a math person?]
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GraniteSkyline
I wish your happiness, or, bqhatevwr....
05:32 PM on 07/12/2011
#17--Poor Lenny. He got beat out by Minecraft.