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09:09 PM on 10/10/2011
Sorry, but the whole premise of the article is skewered. Fifty percent, at least, of all marriages fail whether there is an age difference, whether they are high school sweethearts, whether they are 20 or 30 or 40 when they get married. It is the people involved, their willingness to make a commitment and luck that determines whether it will last. We won't even talk about those who stay married just because they have no reason to move on even though the love has been dead for years.

I married my h s sweetheart and it lasted 18 great years. I'm now married to the love of my life who is 12 years younger than I am. We've been married for 11 years and life could not be better... and YES, I am sure. He's a musician, I'm an artist and we spend 99% of our time together, his choice not mine, so if he has someone on the side, it has to be when he's in our music room with his band mates..... unlikely.
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csunbean
08:57 PM on 10/10/2011
Is everyone that gulliable? Doesn't anyone notice that these loosely tied together infidelity rumors coincide with Ashton taking on the role of playboy in Two and Half Men? He has to be believeable and his ratings were not so good. So, throw in some stories to make him appear a little more Charlie Sheenish and get lots of buzz attention for your show and wannebee men who idolize playboys and party animals.
Don't be fooled. We are being dooped for rating for Two and Half Men Show. I believe the producers of Two and Half Men are behind the headlines to try to up the ratings for their failing show that was making them rich when they had a real bonafide party animal: Charlie Sheen.
08:15 PM on 10/10/2011
The older woman- younger man thing only works if he already has kids and is not looking to her for kids. I also would not go more than a 5 to 8 year age difference.
08:08 PM on 10/10/2011
When I was 19 I started to date a beautiful, smart, exciting, funny 31 year old woman. Physically were so well matched and the chemistry between us was almost electrifying. She was a great deviation from the teen age girls that were interested in older guys or only happy to flirt and flee. Our relationship lasted for almost two years but I knew it had to end as good as it was. I knew that she in every way, she could have been a great wife for me but I also knew that by 30 I would leave this 41 year old woman because of our age difference. There is no doubt in my mind that this would have happened even though I still think of her often. Society's lack of acceptance of this relationship has nothing to do with anything. It comes down to the basic differences between men and women that will never change. In the end, men will always want a woman who is younger and looks good. Right or wrong, it is the way things are and unless you can chemically alter a man, most likely this will stay. I am not suprised that Ashton Kutcher moved on from Demi Moore, a gorgeous, accomplished and smart woman in her own right. Men are men and women are women...although the roles have changed somewhat over time, there are some things that remain timeless.
07:25 PM on 10/10/2011
I know several couples where the woman is younger than the man and the larger the age gap the more likely it is she has somthing on the side. I think older men are more likely to look the other way than younger men when their spouse is cheating leading to a lower rate of divorce. Statistics only tell a fraction of the story. People make compromises to get and keep what they want.
08:09 PM on 10/10/2011
I think that this situation gives the man the permission that he would like to have to start having flings on the side with other women. Men have too much pride to stay with a woman who is having a piece on the side unless he has his own piece as well.
12:28 AM on 10/11/2011
Depends on how attractive the man is. If he is not physically attractive then chances are he is not getting much on the side and is willing to put up with more bs. Women also go for looks. For the ones that marry for money if they can't have both looks and money in one package they will go for more than one package.
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OD Williams
06:52 PM on 10/10/2011
Whether money is involved or not, the likelihood that you'll see many younger men marrying such older women -- and those relationships lasting -- is small. I really don't see what the "confusion" is all about. You need studies to understand this? Men are much more visually oriented, and are wired genetically to be turned on by young, fertile women.

Sure, there are exceptions in the sense that, like Kutcher, a man may get together with and marry someone who is 15 years older. But keep in mind, even in this scenario (as, I'd bet, in many), the female in question is extremely good looking and physically (bodily) looks like... a younger woman. The problem with that is that looks don't last. Sooner or later, she's going to look her agre (in ways that we can't see on TV, but he's quite acquainted with), and it becomes a turn-off.

Even when men marry women of the same age, at some point, even he can see his wife as an old wome at some point, and start to, at the least, look elsewhere. More realistically, they end up leaving. When they marry, at 50 years old, the new wife is, what? 35.

Either way, women would do well to be a little more realistic about getting together with these "boy toys." The likelihood he'll leave is so great. And at the very least, thinking about when that time will come has got to be stressful, and so not worth it.
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SLM89
Don't just look outside the box, change the box
06:37 PM on 10/10/2011
The man better have a big wallet otherwise the younger ones will look the other way..young women in their 20's and 30's dont want old men! But they do want their money..
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Barbara Lee
06:35 PM on 10/10/2011
I think that no matter what age you are you have to have a certain level of maturity to make ANY relationship work. Both parties have to have logical, reasonable expectations. You can't just generalize and say that these relationships are doomed. If a 27 year old man is cheating on his 48 year old wife the age is not the critical part; the cheating is. If the 48 year old woman is insecure, and as a result is unbearable to live with the age of the woman is not the critical part; the insecurity is. Age is a number and really nothing more. Its mentality that makes a person and therefore any relationships they may have. If Demi Moore and Ashton Kutcher's marriage does not last I doubt the top reason will be age difference.
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kando
07:49 PM on 10/10/2011
you are so right. If they spilt, I bet it has nothing to do with age, more of their work stress. I hope it works out for them.
05:55 PM on 10/10/2011
While 27 may be too young to marry a woman who is 20 years older or more, if he's over 40 years old, it might work.

Since men tend to mature later in life than women, a man in his twenties is probably far to young to be a suitable husband for a woman in her forties.
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OD Williams
07:23 PM on 10/10/2011
That likelihood is even less. Its got nothing to do with maturity. Men just aren't wired that way.

No 40 year old man I know would even consider dating a 60 year old. You'd have a better chance of finding a guy in his 20s to go 20 years older, on some novelty tip, and you can bet it'd be short-lived.

I dated a woman who was 40, when I was 24. I remember she was "light years" older, to me, although she was still a knockout, physically. There is no way I'd be married to a 63 year old woman today (which is what she'd be). Just not a turn on to me.
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dancinggrandma
Therapist, writer, dancer
02:30 AM on 10/11/2011
I just have to jump in after reading your post........I'm 67, a fit size 0, and free style dance to live funk/soul bands for hours every week end. I rarely date men over 40, the youngest being 24 when I was 63. I've had a ball! There are no "rules" constraining me from fully living my life and a few of these men have fallen in love with me. I feel ageless, but far more important is that my humor, wisdom, and zest for life make me pretty much irresistible. Exuding joy and being so in the moment have kept my spirit ageless. I've begun noticing a little loose skin forming here & there, and I'm aware that another ten years will change my exterior appearance in ways I wish they didn't, but I refuse to let that stop me from living every single moment each day brings. I'm not particularly interested in "partnering" at this age, so fully enjoying every aspect of being a mature woman keeps my life abundant. My avatar is my face, BTW.
Ainsi sera groigne qui
Cur tu me vexas?
02:33 AM on 10/11/2011
There you have it!

Whilst 20 dating 40 isn't *that* bad, a young man that age hasn't developed his true nature and found his path in life. A forty year old woman may offer pleasures and other things not found in girls his own age but sooner or later youth will win out.

A young man in his 20's isn't likely thinking about children but concentrating on his career/profession. Committing to a woman 20 or more years older than he leaves a limited window (if there is one at all) for such a man to have children of his own with that woman.
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John B 990
deep capture
05:08 PM on 10/10/2011
He's looking for a way out right now.
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csunbean
08:59 PM on 10/10/2011
No he is playing along with his producers of Two and Half men to try to convey a party boy image to get the ratings back where they were when they had a real party boy. Don't be so easily manipulated by the media. The timing of this is just too obvious..
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GOODREASON
03:00 AM on 10/11/2011
Don't think he has to look very far, like maybe just to the next hot tub and a party goer with an I phone? She is gonna dump him like yesterdays sushi.
05:00 PM on 10/10/2011
He is pretty famous now and could have lots of young women. Demi is still gorgeous, but lets face it, she is getting older and nothing can stop that.
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OD Williams
07:25 PM on 10/10/2011
Exactly. When they're alone, at night, and there are no cameras, media, or public, she's still a woman approaching 50. That's a tough nut for most 33 year old men to crack, even if they don't know it yet.
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Vicki Larson
Journalist, mother, thinker
01:24 AM on 10/11/2011
@OD Williams — "she's still a woman approachin­g 50." So, it's OK to cheat on someone who ages? Or, is it OK to dump someone for aging? Aren't we all aging? Wouldn't women be able to do that too, especially since most of us marry men older than we are and have to play nursemaid for many more years?
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GOODREASON
02:50 AM on 10/11/2011
It's not that. Any man would love to do her now. This couple have been together for the dreaded "7" year disaster. It's just the thrill of a new body, and adoration and ego boosts that are more exciting from a new person than from your partner of 7 years. He's an actor, and probably a narcissist.
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Velvetrabbit23
04:34 PM on 10/10/2011
As a 64 year old man, I am married to a 42 year old woman. However, it just happened and was not my intention to marry someone so much younger. My wife is Japanese which has some bearing on her decision since Japanese women do not look at older men as American women do. Also, she is childless and neither one of us wanted children. Of course, I do worry about the age difference as the years go by but almost hope to be dead before it becomes an issue. I do not want to be a burden to anyone in my late years. The bottom line is that we both truly love each other. She wanted to emigrate to the US and I wanted a wife and companion. We met while she was working in the US. We have been married two years and have a nice life here in Florida. As they say, "so far, so good" but every marriage no matter what the age is always risky but for me well worth it.
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Vicki Larson
Journalist, mother, thinker
06:15 PM on 10/10/2011
@Velvetrabbit23 — I wish yo and your wife luck. I agree that "every marriage no matter what the age is always risky but ... well worth it. " There are no guarantees.
08:26 PM on 10/10/2011
He admits she wanted to emigrate to the US! DUH. She is looking for a green card, with a 22 year age difference this will not last. I wish him the best but there is no fool like and old fool. In Florida there are plenty of women more appropriate for him, I hope he has a pre-nup.
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harriscb
Retired 1980 from Navy. Tend to vote for the cand
06:56 PM on 10/10/2011
Wonderful story. Just enjoy each other one-day-at-a-time and don't waste your joy by worrying about the "what-ifs" of tomorrow. You are still young at 64, so enjoy to the max.
04:13 PM on 10/10/2011
I have got to be honest here. I do think that age played a huge role in the success of this marriage. I think emotionally picking a guy that's 15 years your junior is a big mistake, and all this "cougar" mess the media has come up with is crap. Cougars are animals not "older women dating younger men" who, quite frankly, should be finding someone on their own levels. It's not cute when men do it, and it's definitely not cute when women do it, so they need to quit glamourizing this whole "cougar" phenomenon.

With that said, I don't think that a person that much younger than you are can be at the same place in his life as far as mental maturity, settling down, raising a family, and being committed to just one woman. Let's forget the fact that you are not running in the same circles with the same people, but you are both mentally and socially worlds apart. Honestly, did Demi really feel like a man that was young enough to be her son was really to settle down and be a husband and step-father to 3 kids. Frankly, Ashton Kutcher has never struck me as the type of guy that could be serious about anything. It has nothing to do with his comedic roles; he just has never given me the impression that he is a mature, confident, grown @** man. I could be wrong, but that's just not what I see.
06:21 PM on 10/10/2011
The simple fact is you just don't know, you don't. Neither do I. What is apparent is that both of these individuals have devoted themselves to some very important social causes, putting considerable time and effort into these causes. That you decide to focus on what you do focus on, suggests that you have some issues which make it impossible for you to see anything but differences and in these differences, real problems.
"Frankly, Ashton Kutcher never struck me as the type...." WOW. Again, you are the one who needs the luck; and lots of it. I hope Demi and Ashton continue to seek the light and build up, not assume anything, take it for granted, and tear down. Life is short. Live it.
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harriscb
Retired 1980 from Navy. Tend to vote for the cand
06:59 PM on 10/10/2011
I think it depends on the man or the woman individually. If the man is looking to be mothered, he will be happy with someone his mothers age. 100 years ago men didn't marry until they could afford to own a home and raise a family. Men tended to be considerably older than their wife of wives.
My belief is that there is someone perfect out there for everyone and age is probably one of the least important things in the equation.
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oneeasyrider
E=mc2: From light you exist
04:04 PM on 10/10/2011
Obviously, these relationships work sometimes, but then again, when a guy marries someone old enough to be his mom eventually seems only natural he's going to grow up and wander off. Most guys I know think it's a pretty weird scenario to begin with. Seems to suggest something strange about both of them.
03:16 PM on 10/10/2011
The statistics are based on Rich older woman. Demi is beautiful (for her age) What was she thinking? Ashton dosent need her money .I bet if the male in this situation was poor and married Demi the outcome would be much different. Money still talks.