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Corbyn Hightower

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My Husband Had A Vasectomy And All I Got Was This Lousy T-Shirt

Posted: 05/21/2012 10:03 am

My husband is the introverted type, so out of respect for his privacy, I'd like to talk to you about his vasectomy.

We put it off longer than we should have. I guess the ideal time might have been between baby no. 2 and baby no. 3, but we're super happy with the one that slid underneath the closing door, all Indiana Jones-style: "Waaaaiiiiit you have one moooore!" But at some point you have to just make the arbitrary decision that you're done meeting new offspring.

So we finally made the call that it was time to turn the spigot off. An informal survey revealed that getting a vasectomy was the birth control method of choice among the vast majority of older parents in our circle. It's minimally-invasive, complications are rare, and (who knew?) our insurance covered it. Seemed as though the only prerequisite was a few days' freedom to convalesce on the couch and several bags of frozen peas.

We described the procedure to our children, the youngest of whom is five, figuring they'd naturally wonder what was going to make Daddy walk around the house in a half-crouch in a Vicodin-created fugue state. We spent some time describing the vas deferens, and the special seeds that help Mama's egg become a baby, carefully playing up the benefits (no additional sibling rivalry!) and downplaying the discomfort (it won't hurt more than getting a shot).

Yet still, the very next time I brought my youngest, Molly (who's five) out in public, she announced to any and all within earshot: "My daddy's getting his penis cut off." I protested with nervous giggles the first few times, but after awhile took great satisfaction in merely raising my eyebrows and glaring silently.

In honor of the procedure, my husband's coworkers served two types of cheese balls with carrots and celery sticks, artfully arranged. Oh: and mixed nuts.

I kind of assumed I'd be on The Pill until menopause rendered my womb a windswept desert nurturing nothing but a bleached rock outcropping and occasional tumbleweed, but lo! Verdant and lavishly fertile, and already relieved of the threat of childbearing. It's a medical miracle.

I'd like to chalk up the following unsuspected side effect to the array of painkillers my husband was on when he came home from the surgery: when I arrived from taking our Molly to her first dance class, I sat next to him, all propped with pillows and sipping water through a straw, and flipped through the photos I'd snapped on my phone. Molly's leotard and tutu are far from new -- like all of her clothes, they're hand-me-downs several times over. So the crotch hangs to mid-thigh and the tutu is torn and hanging low on one side. There's a small rip in one knee of the black tights. At first glance there is nothing pathetic about this picture; she's a happy girl, hands on hips, looking off to the side. She has the sort of hardscrabble disposition you would expect from the youngest of three. But of our children, she is the only dancer. Music moves her physically. My husband slid past this picture and then slid back and regarded it silently for a moment. I felt the wonder and grief behind his simple words: "That's my last baby."

And in a flash: my own times of bed confinement, postponing early labor. Cups of crushed ice and marshmallows, surer signs of pregnancy than a positive test for me. Vernix-covered little red crying faces, one after the other, lain against my chest. There was the cutting of the umbilical cord, always a bittersweet moment, giving that baby over to the world and all its variables, the concept of protection an illusion. And then there is this last cut. A "relatively pain-free procedure." And just like that, we say goodbye to all of it, say with certainty that we are done, we are parents to these three and no more, no longer getting to rewind the tape with each newborn, to relive that particular kind of falling in love.

 
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05:11 PM on 07/07/2012
A moving essay about the importance of being open to new life and not turning the "spigot" off:

http://allhands-ondeck.blogspot.com/2012/04/for-married-couples-importance-of-being.html
05:08 PM on 07/07/2012
"...But at some point you have to just make the arbitrary decision that you're done meeting new offspring..."

Children are such a blessing. Why would anyone want to permanently close the door to new children?

Even more puzzling is the choice of self-mutilation in order to avoid having more children.
11:59 AM on 05/29/2012
Oh, the humanity. I don't understand why so many readers are up in arms about the decision to tell the kids about Larry's vasectomy. Lying to children is a slippery slope. In this case, there wasn't even a good reason *to* lie. It's biology, not smut!

Corbyn isn't advocating anything dirty in telling her children the truth; she is allowing them to learn about the human body and about 1) why Larry will be resting for a few days, and 2) why there won't be any more biological children. That's education!

I am pregnant with my third child, and am planning a home birth. Unless I happen to have the baby while my children are sleeping, they are bound to see at least part of my labor. So you know what we're doing? Letting them watch videos of other babies being born at home. It's not earth-shattering; it's human life. Kids are smart beings, and will rise to just about any occasion if you let them.

Good on you, Corbyn and Larry.
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Corbyn Hanson Hightower
essayist and unrepentant renegade
05:15 PM on 05/29/2012
THANK YOU. Thank you so much. In our family, talking about the reproductive system is no different than talking about the digestive system, etc. We are raising scientifically-curious kids, and I wouldn't have it any other way.
04:50 PM on 05/26/2012
I feel your pain. My husband had 2 kids and I had 1 when we married. We had another 2 kids together. They're now 35, 29, 29, 19, and 14. Shortly before the last one was born, the hubby announced this was our last. He was 41, and he was afraid he wouldn't be able to give any future children the time, attention, and physical play he had the others. The arthritis didn't help any.
So, when our baby was 6 weeks old, he had a vasectomy. I supported him, but I also mourned those never to be born children we might have had. Intellectually, it was the correct decision, but emotionally, it's hard for someone who once dreamed of a house full children. The hardest part to accept was that ALL of my children are girls. I love them dearly and wouldn't replace any of them - but I will NEVER have a baby boy now.
As for telling children what's going on and why dad's going to be in pain for a few days - What were you thinking?? It's a simple thing to say dad's going to have a surgery and his crotch will be sore for a few days. Later, if they ask why there are only 3 of them, you tell them. All of our children know that hubby had a vasectomy - but they didn't when it was done. They didn't need to know.
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Corbyn Hanson Hightower
essayist and unrepentant renegade
02:13 PM on 05/28/2012
What were we thinking? We had no reason not to tell them. Just like we tell them about other bodily functions or scientific processes. No big deal.
02:51 PM on 05/25/2012
Middle section didn't post.
01:08 PM on 05/25/2012
Wrote too much, had to do three parts. Start at the bottom.

About 2.5 years later we had what may be our last(my wife is 43 now), child number 6, a long awaited boy. This one is a real rascal. Only our 2nd boy out of six, my wife treats him like a prince.

Really, now that I think about it, I need two more boys to balance things out. Not sure if I'm ready to trade in for a younger model yet, in my neighborhood the guys don't seem to hit that stage until 45 or so, I have a couple more years. Give my prospects time to reach closer to a legal age, anyway.

Our 20th anniversary is coming up, maybe I can knock her up then, slip one more out before the factory goes out of business... Yeah, not getting my tubes tied anytime soon. :)
01:07 PM on 05/25/2012
Birth control has always been difficult for us. My wife acts like a hose beast when she is on any form of hormonal birth control(I think most women do, but won't admit or realize it.) I had a friend once that was so sick from the norplant that she tried to cut it out of her arm herself. They gave my wife a shot again after our 4th child that was supposed to keep her from getting pregnant for a 6 months to a year. Yeah, because she didn't want to have sex for a year and a half, caused by the hormones in the shot. We almost divorced, reconciling with a month of constant sex, and along came our 5th child 9 months later. My favorite, this one was a daddy's girl from day one. Even when she was on the breast she paid no attention to my wife, she stared at me the whole time. She graduated kindergarten yesterday, and I couldn't be more proud. She will be six years old tomorrow. She's getting a 3ds. :)
01:05 PM on 05/25/2012
We talked about doing this for years. six kids later I don't see how I could live without any one of them. he thought that they wouldn't exist churns my stomach. I guess I wouldn't miss them if we didn't ever have them, but still kinda sad. My wife is close enough to menopause now that we can just wait until they stop coming naturally.

We live in AZ, were married very young and our first two children were covered by the state health insurance program. After both of those births the state and the doctors pushed my wife very hard to have her tubes tied, adding that it would be covered free of charge. It's easy to think that "well I have fresh baby right now to take care of, maybe it's the right thing." All you really want in that moment is to take care of your new baby, so your very vulnerable to that suggestion. We were not the smartest young couple in the world, but I am happy we didn't fall for that...
10:01 AM on 05/25/2012
Nice article, Corbyn. How poignant that even after doing something you had wanted, the finality* of it all can still sting.

(*Unless of course you decide to try to tie some spaghetti ;)
09:43 AM on 05/25/2012
Want to know how you explain how babies are made, and vasectomies to small children? It is really simple. You take the sex, and titillation out of it. You explain it like a manufacturing process. It is that simple, and they get it almost instantly. They can pick up on the pleasure aspects of it at a later date. For now, its A plus B equals C. No one seems to have a problem explaining any other bodily function in a matter of fact manner, and procreation should be no different. Daddy just had one step in that process disconnected. Some of you must really underestimate the intellect of your children.
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Corbyn Hanson Hightower
essayist and unrepentant renegade
05:22 PM on 05/29/2012
Hey husband: what's the big effin' deal about the "pleasure aspects?" Eating is pleasurable, too. I mean, we *don't* talk about that part with the kids, and I'm not suggesting we change . . . certainly not within the Comments section of Huffington Post, but I still think people should stop and think about *what their own hangups are,* and *why they persist on having them.* Why is pleasure bad? Or a "mature subject?" Or shameful? Is it just that you feel it confuses the issue? Why?
11:20 PM on 05/24/2012
I can understand maybe telling them that Mommy and Daddy aren't going to have anymore babies, but explaining the mechanics of it is a little much for a five year old.
12:05 PM on 05/25/2012
Kids know more than you think they do.
Giving out information in real time....is REAL life. It is the truth. Life does not wait until you "understand" before it doles out its joyful cruelty. It is in the living it, in the having the truth at hand, that one (child or elder) CAN come to understand. This, is parental evolution. Not 1950's under the rug taboo subject time. Life. Is. Anything else is just a lie.
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08:15 AM on 05/26/2012
I agree, Kids know more than you think they do and life doesn't wait. Understanding evolves for all of us. Your point is very well taken until the last part. "Anything else" might simply be another parent, making a different decision in that moment, than the one you might make. For example, other parents may decide that the details of sex, surgery and family planning will manifest for their very young child soon enough, and in this instance decide to say "Dad went to the doctor, and he has stitches. He'll be fine, but he needs to rest right now". They might not be throwbacks who think vasectomy is a "taboo" subject, and they may not be living a lie either. You've got some beauty of life rhetoric going, but right here you don't seem to allow room for the idea that other people can be different from you, and that it might be OK. Isn't it?
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mykirbyroo
Lead, follow or get the hell out of the way.
05:33 PM on 05/26/2012
Why explain it to them at all? There are things that are adult things and there are things that are child things. Vasectomy is NOT a child thing.
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Corbyn Hanson Hightower
essayist and unrepentant renegade
02:16 PM on 05/28/2012
That's where we disagree. Procreation is a human system, a biological fact--and we don't make moral decisions about it. We are good parents, just have difference of opinion on what is a "child thing." Our children are scientifically curious, and we see no big deal here.
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madeye1
I cahoot with no one.
10:21 PM on 05/24/2012
I haven't read anything this well written in quite some time. It's nice to read a story by someone who knows how to arrange beginning, middle and end, in a way that makes the story interesting. How old am I that I consider this old fashioned writing.
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Corbyn Hanson Hightower
essayist and unrepentant renegade
10:18 AM on 05/25/2012
What an incisive, considerate comment. Wow. I'm humbled; thank you so much!
08:03 PM on 05/24/2012
Corbyn,
Well written, hilarious, and bittersweet account of what you went through together as a family. Kudos to your husband for his bravery, his sense of chivalry, and his sensitivity. Oh, and extra kudos to him for loving you AND your amazing sense of humor. Blessings!

~Mal~
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Corbyn Hanson Hightower
essayist and unrepentant renegade
11:12 PM on 05/24/2012
Wow. What a genuinely observant comment. He is a gem.
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rocketranger
Cats oft inspire--humanity oft bewilders
07:51 PM on 05/24/2012
yeah, it can be reversed. but my urologist told me, as I contemplated my vasectomy, the reversal surgery is like tying two pieces of cooked spaghetti together.

and remember less is more with little children. informing them should be developmentally appropriate, not some misconstrued aspect of enlightenment.
07:28 PM on 05/24/2012
Why would you tell young children about the procedure? Surely you could have told them something else...and why tell EVERYONE at work...ridiculous...
10:54 AM on 05/26/2012
Surely you could have just told a lie........... Now that, is exactly why so many parents have trouble. Why lie? Why make up something? Why? Why is telling the truth such a "problem". If your child cannot depend on you telling them the truth, how do you expect them to come to you with something important, like say a phone call on a friday night when they need you to come pick them up rather than they drive home intoxicated. I am baffled by people who think that lying about much else than the big butt in these pants question is o.k. ........
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01:22 PM on 05/26/2012
well, since you ask...and while I don't consider saying "Dad's got stitches. He's resting up" a lie...a parent might consider a simpler explanation out of concern that a young child might internalize the full disclosure thusly: "Wow, Dad went through surgery, not to have any more children?....I wonder if he wanted me?"... yet lack the emotional frame of reference to articulate this doubt.

Or, alternately, parents might be all for explaining contraceptive choice to their children, yet still prefer to keep the specifics of their own choices private.

Or, they might be of the mind that while kids are curious for, and deserve, honest infomation abuot sex...the same kids may not actually welcome nitty gritty details about their own particular parents.

I do see your point that lying to your children is not a good idea, by the way.