Let's be honest, most of ring in the New Year with a great sounding resolution that we know we'll never keep. Whether it is cooking healthier meals, getting organized, spending more time with family, it doesn't really matter because we hang onto our resolutions just long enough to satisfy that "fresh start" urge, and end up throwing in the towel once the novelty wears off. But what if you could make a change this year that would actually bring happiness and fulfillment to your future years instead of just to the first few weeks of January?
If you've been contemplating the idea of divorcing your spouse, but keep coming up with new excuses to put it off because you are afraid of the messy repercussions, then this is the year you need to let go and move on. Facing the fears that are holding you back from filing can be extremely scary. However, it is the first step of shedding a layer of who you are now so that you can start becoming who will be once you have finalized the proceedings. And trust me, that version of you will be a much happier, more carefree, and yet stronger person than you probably never knew existed.
There is absolutely no better time than the start of a brand new year to cast off the lines that have been tying you down and fearlessly sail into a more fulfilling life. So if you have weighed the pros and cons carefully and have decided to take the opportunity for a second chance at bliss this New Year, here are five reasons why you can officially feel good about starting over and put all that anxiety in the past!
1. Re-discovering yourself on your own is liberating!
If the thought of being alone has been so paralyzing to you over the years that it has kept you from forging ahead with your life sans-spouse, then you have been letting fear control your future. It is time to change. As anyone who has been in an unhappy relationship knows, it is often much lonelier be in bed next to someone who does not "get" you anymore (or doesn't want to) than it is to be snuggled between the sheets alone.
So when you do decide to move forward with a divorce and suddenly find yourself single for the first time in years, don't panic. Fend off the lonesome blues by cultivating new interests, friends and hobbies that you neglected to pursue during marriage. You will unquestionably discover the piece of yourself that has been missing for a very long time.
2. The longer you stay, the more you pay.
Deciding whether or not to divorce your spouse is undoubtedly a weighty decision that deserves very careful thought and consideration. That being said, you do not need to spend too much time mulling over the pro/con list and waste away precious, viral years of your life in which you could be happily single. Not to mention, the more time you spend with your spouse, the more money is accrued in your marital accounts (such as a 401 (k) or pension) and the more you risk forking over when it comes time to settle.
So while you should not rush the decision-making process when it comes to ending your marriage, try to remember that the more time you spend in self-reflection, the more money you may be putting on the line.
3. Removing toxic people from your life opens new, amazing doors.
Staying in a marriage that is unsupportive, unfulfilling, abusive or just plain unhappy is bound to give you self-respect issues. After awhile you begin to believe that the lack of passion in your life is inevitable and that you are not worthy of affectionate love. But you're wrong! You deserve to be with a partner who is enthusiastic, uplifting, and mindful of all your needs as a lover and a friend.
When you have concluded that it's time to leave your "better half" and choose to instead surround yourself with those who respect and love you, you will feel lighter, hopeful, and ready for all of the new adventures that lie ahead (including fresh romance!).
4. Starting over after marriage forces you to re-evaluate everything.
As most people who have successfully divorced will tell you, once you have endured the trials and tribulations of court proceedings to end your marriage, you tend to feel like you can handle anything life throws your way. Suddenly you will have a brand new outlook on life that will inspire you to stand up for yourself more often and take action to change the things in life that don't make you happy. As the saying goes, "what doesn't kill you makes you stronger", and that goes double for divorce.
5. With age and experience comes a whole new world of sexual pleasure.
If you and your spouse had issues in the bedroom that just couldn't seem to be worked out (I'm talking everything from lack of passion, to disagreements regarding fantasies, to not having sex at all), boy oh boy are you in store for a post-divorce treat.
If you are like most people, you probably got married during a time in your life when you were still learning what pleased you in the boudoir. Perhaps you were a little unsure of yourself back then and thought the chemistry between you and your partner would grow but it just never panned out. But don't worry! Now that you are older and (hopefully) more in touch with your body's needs, you don't have to waste time with anymore unskilled lovers! The world is full of satisfying and exciting sexual encounters just waiting to be experienced....ENJOY!