Tell Us: What Should Restaurant Diners Never Do?

Last week the New York Times published Part 1 of an article 100 Things Restaurant Staffers Should Never Do by Bruce Buschel. Today he posted Part 2. It's a great list, and one can only hope servers, hosts, chefs, and owners are printing it and posting it on the kitchen wall.

Buschel has compiled a great litany of pet peeves we all have from the obvious "(12) Do not touch the rim of a water glass. Or any other glass" to the less obvious "(42) Do not compliment a guest's attire or hairdo or makeup. You are insulting someone else."

Readers have chimed in with their advice. More than 1000 comments have been posted so far. Methinks the Times has struck a nerve! Clearly this is a contentious relationship.

Now it's time to turn the tables. What are the 100 Things Diners Should Never Do? Tell us in the comments section below.

--------------------------------

Unless otherwise noted, all text and photos are Copyright (c) 2009 By Craig "Meathead" Goldwyn, and all rights are reserved. For more of my writing and recipes, please visit AmazingRibs.com.

 

Comments

[Conk]

NEVER blow your nose!

[chippedlens]

Everything you need to know you should have learned in Kindergarten...
Servers are people, treat them like people not your slaves, or verbal punching bags.
Remember they may be having a bad day too.
If something with your order is not right, it is ok to talk with the server about it.
Just be nice about it, often it is not their fault or even if it is it is just a simple mistake.
If they can't/won't make it right consider that before coming back.
If the service is good to great tip well.

[NevaforLeadership]

The absolutely MOST ANNOYING thing many restaurants do is play LOUD MUSIC, especially rock or pop music.

The patrons are there to dine; not to dance, rock and shout.

Firstly, it reflects the owner's less-than-refined background.

Secondly, it is extremely unhealthy to eat with loud music in the background. Dining music shoud be quiet and mellow.

[Art Dodger]

You are so right---this is a major peeve of mine since loud music seem ubiquitous even in good restaurants.

[Idytme]

There was a study done that said that if people are eating with louder and fast music they will get out of their tables faster (ordering the same amount) but soft slow music will keep them there longer and eat the same amount but they might order more drinks.
But if the music is too loud, just ask the server to ask the manager to turn it down.

[rudybasilicowannabe]

I find it quite interesting that so far nobody has commented on what a customer should do with food. The main concern seems to be service; is the food secondary or even irrelevant? Granted a bad server will never be able to sell a good steak, but how many time has a good server sold a bad steak?
Should not the food be the center of attention in a restaurant? A reputable establishment (yes, like the expensive places) will never attempt to disappoint his guests with bad service (what is the point?). Busy waiters=bad management, rude waiters=overworked staff. If one can afford it, avoid inexpensive joints on Sat night, try them on Tue. If you want good service be prepared to pay for it. And please do not forget, the cooks work at least 12hrs a day and they hardly get any tips (extremely rare). Nobody seem to care about the work they do, the pretty/nice server gets the credit. Not fair.

[LaLaverne]

With jobs being in high demand these days, I find it hard to believe that a lot of my recent experience in restaurants in the san francisco area has been mostly negative. It might just be the san francisco attitude, but honestly I don't feel like wait staff are even TRYING to be friendly/helpful.

And to that, I'm tired of tipping for poor or bad service. Tips should reflect the quality of service. I know you all make under minimum wage, but that should mean you try harder to please your customers or at least to be more friendly.

I worked in the food industry from age 14-24 and as it is difficult to deal with some customers, I tried to not let that affect my attitude, because IT WAS MY JOB.

You want to send your food back? I'll be right back with your new order
You want sun-dried tomatoes instead of regular tomatoes? Sure thing.

It's your job to serve food and for that you get your hourly wage, it's the rest of the service that contributes to your tip.

[NevaforLeadership]

Tips of all kinds -- taxis, hair salons, restaurants, hotels, spas, etc. -- should be banned, especially taxis, as almost no drivers perform extra services, such as opening a door or carrying your bags. Instead, they smoke while waitiing to pick up passengers, eat while driving, talk on the phone -- usually in a Middle Eastern language -- often don't know the way, dress as if they've just stepped out of a week's sleep, often stink, and top it all off with rudeness.

Tipping is nothing more than a way of subsidizing employers.

[onwisconsin]

Fine -- then you lead the charge to make sure that these folks are paid a decent wage. Until then, tip graciously for good service. These folks work hard for their tips.

Your rude comments about people of supposedly middle eastern descent are simply ignorant and biased.

[JonDavies]

I have many thoughts on the matter (as I work in the industry), but think it wise to direct you to my favorite video blog right now - a waiter on YouTube who says what so many of us in the industry think and feel.

http://www.youtube.com/user/YourDailyTip

Whereas Buschel teaches waiters how to do their job better (at least in his eyes), this waiter teaches people how to be better customers, and what to look out for when they are dining. He's funny, nice, angry, cute, bitter, and charming!

I've seen his channel grow in a matter of months from 20 subscribers to over 650... but I would like to see it grow even more. He deserves it, I think!

[meathead]

I have just watched all 3 of his vids, and while he may have a point in each, his attitude sux. He is in the service industry. His job is to provide service. Customers have NO idea how restaurants calculate the payments owed to servers and how coins impact this. Nor should they. If people tip with coins and he can't understand that coins are real money, then he has a problem. And to make a whole video ranting about this pseudo problem is breathtakingly petty.

I also have problems with his video on "narcissistic" customers who try to get his attention. To be sure many diners think they are the only ones in the room, but when hot food has arrived and the wine is nowhere in sight and he is walking through the room eyes straight ahead, well sometimes we just have to wave or get up and track him down. et he still demands his "F***KIN 20%".

Sorry pal. You're a crappy waiter.

[OnTheCusp]

I've spoken to several people about this article and the one last week on NYT. I am so surprised how many people think that waiters/waitresses actually make tips ON TOP of minimum wage. Nothing could be further from the truth. Meathead, please tell the masses that w/w's get paid by their restaurant only $2-3 dollars per hour, which is addended by tips. So many people are just not aware of this.
Thank you.

[MsCuda]

I noted this downthread as well; I think it's reprehensible that waitstaff are taken advantage of this way. These are people who work hard to please, and who act as the well-oiled machinery that keeps a restaurant moving along. Without a good waitstaff, most restaurants will fail.

Besides, who knows what they'll be making financially when the tip becomes part of the paycheck? Though many know to tip at least 15% in the US, there are people I've known personally who tipped never more than 5% if at all. (I never left a table without an appropriate tip.)

I think that restaurateurs who pay these kind of wages are skirting the law, morally if not in actuality.

[nicole44]

I was a server/bartender for along time. Here is something I've heard/ seen that made me mental while I worked my way through school.

]It is 5 minutes before closing time and a group or couple walks in, looks around an empty restaraunt and asks "Is the kitchen still open?" If you have to ask that you already know that you shouldnt have walked in when there was no other cars in the lot and all the servers are cleaning their stations. An 8 hour shift on your feet running around is hard and you are making that in to 9-10 hour shift.

2. Keep your coupons to yourself until you are ready to pay. The only thing that waving your coupon in my face accomplished was letting me know that you are cheap and it probably isnt worth my time- this may not be true but when you are that eager to show off your coupon clipping skills thats the message you are sending to others. At the end of the meal put it in the check presenter AFTER you made sure it wasnt expired or not applicable to that day or item you have ordered. And on that note... tip on the pre discounted price.

[Idytme]

I agree, but if a restaurant has posted hours, they need to stick to them. That means that if they are open until 10 and people come in at 9:55, they get taken to their seat and get a full meal. That is *why* there are restaurant hours. Too many restaurants cut corners and close down before their posted hours, to cut costs, to make the servers and cooks happy, but what happens in the long run is that you are inconsistent as a restaurant and people cannot trust when they show up they will be fed. I have stopped eating at more than a few restaurants because they didn't stick to their hours and I have ended that charade at other restaurant when I was a consultant.

[onwisconsin]

I think you lump all coupon users together as poor tippers without thinking it through. There are those of us who use coupons at times to save a bit of money but NEVER would even think of skimping on a 20% tip for good service.

We always get great service at our favorite restaurants because we treat the waitstaff very well and tip generously.

More people should believe that if you can't afford to tip your server, you can't afford to go out to eat at a sit-down restaurant.

[Idytme]

Nicole44 was making the distinction. Restaurants would not be using coupons if they didn't drive in traffic and severs don't necessarily dislike that people use coupons because they now have more people to wait on, especially if the customers base the tip on what the meal would have cost without the coupon. But there are some people who take the coupon out and put it in the center of the table and leave it there through the whole meal and *those* people are almost always bad tippers. So if you are a good tipper, just don't leave the coupon out the entire time you are eating (unless, as someone pointed out, you have to present it at the beginning of a meal). Pull it out at the end when you are getting ready to pay. That is a good "tip" she is giving you.

[PhillyQuaker]

My friend told me about a time when her baked potato was served room temperature, by a very busy server at a seashore restaurant. She had to send it back twice to have it come back decently hot. She then asked the waitress "Are you sure nobody spit on this potato this time."

Argh I am never having a meal out with this person.

[meathead]

There's a good response to the NY Times article on Waiter Rant. He responds to most of the 100 points .

Some of them are rapier sharp retorts:

3. Never refuse to seat three guests because a fourth has not yet arrived.

WaiterRant's reply: This is complete bullshit and a money loser for the restaurant. What happens when you seat those three people but their friend doesn’t show up for an hour? I’ll tell you what – they’ll eat bread and water while waiting for their friend to get his or her chronically passive-aggressive late ass in gear. The result being that the restaurant can’t turn the table and no one, including the waiter, makes money.

Others are just fun:

9. Do not recite the specials too fast or robotically or dramatically. It is not a soliloquy. This is not an audition.

WaiterRant's reply: So how are the actors waiting tables ever going to get any practice in? How can they bring “something unique to their role?”

15. Never say “I don’t know” to any question without following with, “I’ll find out.”

Reply: Aw man, just Google the answer on your iPhone table side. Get with the 21st century.

http://waiterrant.net/?p=1485

meathead

[KIVPossum]

Enjoying this thread and will revisit it - tomorrow.

Now it's the middle of the afternoon and I need to get ready for the evening.

We have a wonderful Gypsy-Reggae band coming in tonight. Anyone shows up at The Patio and mentions HP, your admission and drinks are free.

[KIVPossum]

It's interesting to me to read everyone's comments. Actually what I expect out of the customer and the staff depends on the time of day, day of the week, and location. Courtesy between the two is always expected. And the customer has the right to expect quality service and product, no matter what.

The family joint has a totally different atmosphere and clientele from the cafe and it from the restaurant.

We're going to cut you off at 3 beers in the family joint. At the restaurant we demand you behave until the band starts their 3rd set. And after 2 we expect you to keep most of your clothes on, do not pass out where you could trip another customer, try to get to the toilet before you pee, and please do not throw your cigarettes on the floor because it burns the customers hands and knees when they leave.

[KIVPossum]

Two things cover it - courtesy to my staff and courtesy to my patrons

Don't complain to the hostess if you failed to make a reservation and your favorite table is occupied
Don't comment about the waitresses looks or sex life
Don't touch the staff - grab their ass and you will leave
Voice any complaints in a reasonable way to the appropriate person
Don't interrupt the waitress when she is with another table
Don't flag her down when she is en route to another table with a full tray
The waitress does not set menu prices
If you don't tell us how you want your food, you get it the way we prepare it
Sit properly and don't throw your legs out in the floor to trip other customers
Talk and have a good time, keep the decibel rating down so other tables can talk
Don't touch your phone while you are ordering or talking to the staff
If you don't request premium booze, you get house brands
Same with wine
If you want to get soused, behave, don't bump into customers or tables, hit the toilet, and leave a nice tip.
Don't get mad at the waitress if I she asks you to settle your tab when it gets high - We'll start you a new one.
We don't care how much you adore your date, this isn't a make out parlor.
Don't buy one cup of tea and occupy a table for 3 hours. We are not

[dc2nm]

Your list is a lot more than 2.

[lmcshea]

Never cheap out on food once you're seated and then take it out on the waitress. Actually, don't ever cheap out on food. If you can't afford it, don't walk in the door. Says a lot about a person's character when they get snotty with the waitress over food prices.
I reunited with my best friend from college over lunch and he made it a point to let the waitress know he was "too good" to pay $9 for a garden salad. In Times Square, that's pretty damn reasonable! Needless to say, I was so embarrassed & our reunion was short and I haven't talked to him since.
I too have noticed female wait staff always looking at the male I'm with when talking. I don't buy the old school "men usually pay." These waitresses are usually younger than me - too young to follow such conventions. So what really gives when the waitress is always looking at the male at the table?

[Idytme]

You do have a point, and when I was young and after being a bit red-faced about putting the bill in front of a man when the woman paid, I never made that mistake again. And I have always enjoyed when other waiters have put the bill in front of my husband and I paid and made *them* red faced, especially when they saw my tip. So the answer to those situations is for you to pay the bill and teach them something. But you teach them nothing if you leave a bad tip when they gave you good service. Customers perceptions about flirting and servers perceptions can be very far off. Some customers see a smile and graciousness, as a good server should have, as something entirely different.
There seem to be two main themes with gripes on this board. The first is children out of control in a restaurant and the second is mistreating friendliness (everyone is after tips after all) with coming onto someone. See these gripes as having many stories behind them.

[cyoohoos]

COMPLAIN or SEND YOUR FOOD BACK TO THE KITCHEN.

If the food was bad or your order was wrong, smile politely and NEVER return.

[KIVPossum]

Wrong. If: 1/ your food was not prepared the way your ordered it 2/ you received the wrong order 3/ it was unacceptable for any reason - you talk to me or my manager on duty. Unless you are just a prick, and depending on it you ate it or not, you will get a new meal, your meal will be gifted, you will get a free drink, or you will get a discount coupon for your next visit.

It's a lot cheaper for me to make a customer happy than find a replacement customer. I want you business next week, and want you to tell your friends that we took care of you.

[Decipherer]

Pretty quick to drop the "p" bomb aren't we, Sunshine?

[charlot]

I agree! I very, very rarely (maybe three times in my whole life) send food back, but in some cases it is warranted: I am a vegetarian and always ask the server what's in the food I'm considering ordering, to make sure it's meatless. If the server doesn't know, then he or she should ask the kitchen staff.
Well, a few weeks ago I did just that, and was assured the dish (an Italian pasta dish) was meatless. Lo and behold, two bites into it I saw and tasted that there was meat in the sauce. I was disgusted, and none-too-happy, so I sent it back and got it taken off the check. At first, I was just not going to go back, but then I thought about the owners of the restaurant (family-owned) and how they were known for their dedication to good customer service, so I e-mailed them when I got home, and explained what had happened because I knew they would want to know. They were very apologetic, thanked me for letting them know and then they sent me a 15-dollar gift certificate to give them another chance. That was excellent customer service, they handled it exactly as they should have, and their action guaranteed I'd return and continue to recommend them to others. It remains one of my favorite restaurants in town.

[arabianway]

How can they learn anything from a diner who says nothing about the poor food or service? Then doesn't return to the establishment. That's passive agressive behavior.

Granted, you run the risk of some unprofessional behavior and I mean even in the nicest places.

I once commented on a virtually tasteless entree to the owner of the restaurant who was actively working the room extolling the talents of his brand new chef. He argued with me there at the table.

Now THAT'S reason not to return.

[cyoohoos]

If you want snot, spittle or other crap in your food go ahead return your order to the kitchen after complaining. Otherwise, realize that a good restaurant would work to get your order right THE FIRST TIME.

Would the business benefit from your feedback, maybe. But the likelihood that anyone who actually owns the business would hear your complaint is minimal.