I was in a restaurant recently when I glanced over and noticed a family of four at another table, each person's head bowed. I thought, "Oh, they're praying together before their meal." But when I happened to look back later, they were still looking down. Suddenly I realized: They weren't praying. They were all typing into their phones! They were oblivious to one another, each person connecting with people who weren't even there. Maybe you've seen the same thing, perhaps even in your own family.
With always-on access to global news, information and even to other people, it's normal (even easy) for us to lose focus on the world right in front of us. When we're constantly flipping channels, we start treating our attention like currency, careful not to spend it all in one place. Just as a look in your checkbook can reveal what you truly value, honestly assessing your daily activities and interactions can show you which things (and people) you really care about.
My wife Amy helped me see this in my own life. For years it was normal for me to only half-listen at home. Occasionally she would ask, "Are you listening to me?" I'd respond with a relationship survival skill I had adapted: I'd repeat back to her the last several words she had just said. But we both knew I wasn't giving my undivided attention.
Then one day she asked me a very different question. She calmly explained, "You have a lot going on with the church. I'll always support you. But when you're with our family, can you be all here?" Her request was perfectly fair and reasonable.
Wherever you are, be all there.
That one tiny idea radically transformed the way I now conduct my everyday life. It immediately strengthened my relationships and, over time, even improved my capacity to make tough decisions. In the cloud of endless to-dos where most of us live, our minds are so cluttered that we overlook the joy just in being alive today. Be honest: Even as you're reading this article, do your thoughts keep trying to wander to everything else happening in your life?
In our culture, that's normal. Normal people are distracted, rarely fully present. We all have to fight getting pulled into the orbit of that constant gravity of busyness. Urgent tasks and priorities desperately cry out for our attention. Maybe it's a chicken-or-egg situation, but I believe all that noise harms our well-being more than the legitimate stress of all the things we actually "have to do." If you want to be different, you have to live differently. Weird people learn to silence distractions and remain fully in the moment.
The Apostle Paul wrote to the church at Ephesus, "Be very careful, then, how you live -- not as unwise but as wise, making the most of every opportunity" (Ephesians 5:15-16). To leverage that advice when we make decisions, we need to answer: What is the wise thing to do in this situation? And what would it mean to "make the most" of this particular opportunity?
Christ had to make difficult decisions about how he would spend his limited time on earth. His example has a lot to teach us. But we have to take the time to discover what things are important to God by reading the words he gave us. We must also invest time meditating on what those things mean in our everyday lives. Then, the next time the chaos of urgency tries to dictate your next action, you can press pause. Having already thought about which things are most important, you'll be able to make intentional decisions. (Urgent does not necessarily equal important.) Even if a decision carries you another step forward, it's not progress if it leads you away from where you actually want to go.
In another letter from Paul, in Colossians 3:17, he suggested, "whatever you do, whether in word or deed, do it all in the name of the Lord Jesus." When I focus on the things I believe are important to God, I live differently. I don't make decisions based on my feelings, insecurities or selfish ambitions. Instead, I tend to favor others who have greater need. The conversations I have lend themselves to deeper, intimate connections -- not simple, superficial information exchanges. "Did you go by the cleaners?" gives way to genuine care: "So, how was your day?"
Just as important as your to-do list -- and perhaps more important -- what's on your to-don't list? When you focus on the purposes you believe God created you for, you'll have the stability to say no to some good things. And that will give you the space to be able say yes to the best things when they present themselves. Rather than just reacting to the waves of things that come, you can ride them with deliberate intention.
James 4:14 reminds us, "What is your life? You are a mist that appears for a little while and then vanishes." We can't have more time, but we can live with a greater awareness of the limited time we do have. Every opportunity that arrives on your doorstep will require some decision. If you've already decided what you value, you can fully enjoy each moment, secure that you're living the life you want. God gives us an amazing present every day. Normal people leave this gift unwrapped, unrealized, unappreciated, and it's gone before they know it. Weird people know there's no time like the present.
Religion Review: Weird: Because Normal Isn't Working by Craig ...
Sigh.
Time Management the Invisible Pink Unicorn's Way: What's on Your To-Don't List? or
Time Management the Flying Spaghetti Monster's Way: What's on Your To-Don't List? or
Time Management the Tooth Fairy's Way: What's on Your To-Don't List? or
Time Management Santa Claus' Way: What's on Your To-Don't List?
All of these would make just a much sense as: "Time Management the Invisible Pink Unicorn's Way: What's on Your To-Don't List?" because there is no shred of verifiable and falsifiable evidence that supports the existence of god, invisible pink unicorns, the flying spaghetti monster, tooth fairies, santa claus, ...
So if your first reflect would be after seeing any of my proposed titles that I should be locked up in a mental institution, you're on the right track.
Now start applying that to every claim made not supported by any verifiable and falsifiable evidence and reflect how difficult it is to erase your childhood indoctrinations.
I love that line.
Whether it is with work, prayer time, reading, investing in a relationship, exercise... This article reminds me to give my all and best in whatever I am doing. God has given me today for a reason and I cannot maximize that purpose with poor time management and poor focus. Thankful that Groeschel reminded me of Ephesians 5:15-16!
I choose the texters, hands down, for the following reasons:
(1) Neither the texters or the pray-ers are paying attention to each other at the dinner table, so this one is a tie.
(2) The texters are presumably texting real people, i.e. talking to actual, extant human beings. The pray-ers are praying to a mythological, magical being for which no evidence exists. In other words the prayers are talking to themselves and/or to essentially "nothing." Very unhealthy. No critical thinking skills on display. (Also Jesus, presumably one of the Bible characters the family's faith revolves around, instructed his minions in no uncertain terms, to PRAY IN PRIVATE. Wouldn't the United States be a slightly nicer place if our Christians heeded this instruction?
Maybe that family just bought new phones and they're texting each other. Maybe they have a family member in the armed services within Afghanistan and they are communicating with him or her. Maybe they're playing a game with each other. Who really knows?
What's even more irrelevant are the admonishments from St Paul who disliked with great passion both women and marriage. He was a man's man who thought it better to be with men and serve God without distraction of women and family.
It's Christians like this pastor who believe they mean well but have no idea at the divisive conditions they place on others. It's the presumption that if they don't act Christian they are in the wrong and are needing reprimand.
All I can say to that effort is to mind you own business and you won't need to waste time blogging about it.
I don't think this is the place to start a theological debate on who St Paul was either, although he was not at all how 'el sistema' paints him to be when you take into consideration the customs of that time and read his works as a whole and in context.
I didn't get a divisive vibe from this article at all. I think this comment could be called divisive and unnecessarily harsh.
Sorry, but 'el sistema' totally missed the point.
When you judge someone indifferently you are being divisive. That is a fact you seem to ignore. Yet you seem to favor judgment under preset conditions of technology and socialization. Christians are quick judge and reprimand those different from their religious take on life. That fact is inescapable, yet it escapes you.
Furthermore where in the scriptures can you show me where Paul commends his religious cohorts to get married and have a family? I can show passages where he condemns that action in favor of service to God.
He viewed women as subservient to men and desired them to sit down and shut-up when men spoke in church. - See 1 Corinthians 14:34-35
Paul admonished the men in Corinth if they cannot control their sex life then they should get married. However he quickly interjected that they would be better off not married as he was. - See 1 Corinthians 7:8,9
Paul demonstrated his arrogance by stating that man was made in God's glory and women are made for man's glory and women were created solely for man. - See 1 Corinthians 11:7-9
I am not painting any picture of Paul. These are his words I am repeating and pointing out, and it's inappropriate to use him in connection with this article.