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Crazy Legs Conti
Crazy Legs Conti can be found in cyberspace at and as close to reality as he comes, at Coleman’s Bar and Grill in NYC.

Entries by Crazy Legs Conti

A July 4th Product Placement America

(0) Comments | Posted July 9, 2015 | 1:06 PM

Bill Murray as Franklin Delano Roosevelt in "Hyde Park on the Hudson" solves world peace by encouraging The King of England to eat a hot dog. At first the King is reticent, expressing to The Queen, "...But, to answer your question, Elizabeth, I am going to eat a hot dog...

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Unicorn Poop Taste Delicious!

(0) Comments | Posted June 25, 2015 | 12:04 AM

Before I get to the magical unicorn poop sold exclusively at Taco in a Bag in downtown Chicago - the wondrous rainbow patty shaped, rainbow sprinkled meringue-like dessert - that is the perfect compliment to an entire appropriately priced taco-in-a-bag like the Norberto (Spicy Braised Chicken Thigh, Sautéed Pepper and...

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When Pigs Fly (into the Mouths of Competitive Eaters)

(0) Comments | Posted June 24, 2015 | 11:14 PM

Most folks assume Upton Sinclair's seminal work, "The Jungle," about the Chicago meat-processing business, is the current state of affairs regarding hot dog production, but they would be as wrong as pink slime. I am one of the few civilians to tour the SFG Specialty Foods Group, Inc's not-open-to-the-public Chicago...

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King of Corn

(0) Comments | Posted April 28, 2015 | 12:50 PM

My Uniqlo white linen long-sleeved shirt was splattered with blood. My cigar bag also and bits of bright red speckle dotted my Sol Moscot clear frame glasses (Gary Oldman has a pair, so I had to have one.) The back of the boat was drenched in blood as if it...

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Fear and Digesting in Las Vegas

(0) Comments | Posted April 20, 2015 | 11:45 AM

I just canceled my flight to Las Vegas, which is bittersweet. Perhaps more sweet than bitter as the song goes, as I canceled because I have already qualified to compete at Nathan's Famous on July 4th in Coney Island. Major League Eaters get three shots at qualifying, and while I...

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A Big Tribute to the Little Man

(0) Comments | Posted April 17, 2015 | 5:29 PM

I have been feeding my ears a steady stream of early AC/DC thanks to my American-by-way-of-Australian friend, Sam, who hooked me up with all the early releases, both American and Australian. I have been reading books about the Young brothers (George the older is a producer/manager type, while Malcolm and...

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Why Reading the 'New Yorker' Will Get You Punched in the Head

(0) Comments | Posted March 18, 2015 | 5:17 PM

I saw a blinding white light -- or rather felt -- it as the sucker punch hit the left side of my temple. Later, staggering on The Bowery, I would be amazed that my Goorin Brothers newsboy hat stayed on my head and that my library book (Duff by Kody...

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Are You a True Bostonian or Do You Like NYC Brisket (Mutually Exclusive Much)?

(0) Comments | Posted March 12, 2015 | 4:28 PM

I am a big Jay McInerney fan and I heard him speak years ago at the St. Luke's Church on Hudson street. He told a harrowing tale about almost dropping his coffee cup onto the heads of St. Luke's students when he lived above the school across the street. He...

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Over The Top. Under the Bun.

(0) Comments | Posted March 3, 2015 | 9:29 AM

In preparation for my Nathan's hot dog qualifier at the Plant City, Florida strawberry festival, I have been listening to a lot of Frank Stallone music. Not just the hits from the 1980s films "Staying Alive" and "Over the Top" but his new stuff like "Carry On" from the film...

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Let Them Eat Cake, Seriously!

(0) Comments | Posted February 17, 2015 | 6:08 PM

After Matt "The Megatoad" Stonie quaffed 14.5 pounds of vanilla buttercream birthday cake at the Palm Beach Outlets World Birthday Cake-Eating Championship, West Palm Beach mayor Jeri Muoio mentioned on the microphone that it would be a long time until she ate birthday cake. At which point she was presented...

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Katy Perry, Formerly Guilty Pleasure, Now Just Pleasure

(0) Comments | Posted January 29, 2015 | 12:13 AM

I have been listening to some of the Katy Perry deeper cuts, like "Waking up in Vegas"  ("Get up and shake the glitter off your clothes") and the accusatory "Mannequin" ("You're not a man, you're a mannequin.") and beginning to think that her first album may be her...

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The True American Food Outlaws are in Chicago

(0) Comments | Posted December 30, 2014 | 11:17 AM

More than any other human on the planet, I would like to have a beer with Bill Murray. You know Bill Murray's walk. It's more of a strut or stutter step filled not with hubris, but with a smirk and some effervescence. You can see it in his John Winger...

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The Cream Puff Inside the Octagon-Shaped Cannoli Shell

(0) Comments | Posted September 24, 2014 | 1:50 PM

Marcos "The Monster" Owen's hands, strangled his opponent barehanded. His opponent's insides came gushing and squishing out in a spray as the hard exterior crumbled into broken bits. And then, before his sweet opponent could tap out, "The Monster" raised what was left of his defeated, dying opponent and bit...

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When Major League Eating goes "Top Gun" with the Shadow Hawks Squadron at Atsugi Naval Base, Japan.

(0) Comments | Posted August 19, 2014 | 2:49 PM

"I'm Maverick, you're Goose," says Major League Eating MC Diamond Dave Keating to me as we bake in the sun on the flight line at Atsugi Naval Base, Japan. We are on our last stop of our Navy Entertainment tour and one of the few civilians allowed on the flight...

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Navy Entertainment and Major League Eating Continued: Okinawa Is Filled with Marines and One Amazing Female Competitive Eater

(1) Comments | Posted August 18, 2014 | 1:13 PM

Have you seen Demi Moore in GI Jane? Movies would lead us to believe that formerly demure Demi, buffed up and head shaved, could best Viggo Mortensen. As if One Crazy Summer's Cassandra Eldgridge could take Aragorn from Lord of the Rings. That is just Hollywood hoohah and doesn't happen...

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Sasebo Naval Base, Japan : Home of the Fastest BBQ Pork Sliders in Competitive Eating

(0) Comments | Posted August 15, 2014 | 11:49 AM

When you think of great BBQ pork, stripped sauce-soaked goodness, you probably think of Clarksdale, or Walterboro, or some tiny town in Texas. What if I told you the best I've had was in Sasebo, Japan on the Navy Base? It was so good; I ate fifteen sandwiches in ten...

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Eating for the Troops: Navy Entertainment in Yokosuka, Japan

(0) Comments | Posted August 14, 2014 | 11:04 AM

Have you ever passed a member of the armed forces in an airport and thanked him or her for their service? Or been at a major sporting event when an enlisted member of the Army, Air Force, Navy, Coast Guard, or Marine Corp was recognized by the announcer and the...

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They Shoot Wild Harness Race Horses, Don't They?

(0) Comments | Posted August 1, 2014 | 5:46 PM

"Trotters or Flats in race four?" I asked a rail side spectator at the Tioga Downs Casino and Racetrack, as if I was a grizzled harness race veteran, looking for an inside tip. The truth was I was three races into my harness race knowledge and despite learning some of...

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'Twas the Night Before the Hot Dog Contest...

(0) Comments | Posted July 4, 2014 | 2:27 PM

'Twas the night before the hot dog contest,
And in Coney Island, not a gurgitator was sleepin'
But dreaming of the morrow's Herculean eatin'

The hot dogs were all grilling, near the Wonder Wheel,
Focused on elasticity, snap, and mouth feel.
The buns were all nestled...

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Oysters Champion Rain, Oyster Champion Reigns

(2) Comments | Posted June 3, 2014 | 4:46 PM

"Sonya, Sonya, Sonya," was heard, not from the fans at the Acme Oyster Eating Contest during New Orleans' Oyster Festival, as they had absconded from the pit in a pouring deluge of rain right at the eight-minute contest's end. No, this was not the usual rabid chanting that follows Sonya...

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