Commend Instead of Criticize!

I recently read a short comment posted on an entertainment website about one of the Jonas Brothers (a very popular "teen sensation" singing group) getting teased because he has a very beautiful girlfriend, but still a virgin. Are you kidding me?! What's really wrong with our society today? Why do some of us adults insist on promoting such negativity, especially when our youth sucks up any and every piece of information they can get their hands on that concerns their favorite celeb like a vacuum.

You know when our youth finds out what's going on in the entertainment world, they're going to want to copy what's new or hip or stay away like the black plague! It depends on the gossip that is spread. This young man (Jonas Brother) along with his other two brothers, have made a vow to not have sex until they're married. In fact, they all wear bands on their left ring finger to prove their promise. In this day and age, I commend them! They also have an overwhelming group of fans who actually want to choose that same route. To be that young and vibrant and not have sex until marriage! Shocking!

But, of course, some people have to joke about this heartfelt decision. What's even more shameful is that it's the adults that are doing the picking! How are we supposed to teach our youth that it's actually okay to be a virgin or to abstain from sex until their older, emotionally ready or marriage? It's better than okay, it's awesome! Most adults are supposed to be the grown-ups and be able to show our youth that no matter how you are criticized by your peers, it's okay to follow your own path.

Having sex is a beautiful thing that was created for us as human beings to experience, but at the right time. No one can tell you when you're ready to allow your own body to experience something so beautiful, yet very powerful. And as a teenager, if you choose to wait, it's even more special when you're old enough to appreciate the true emotions behind this mystical pleasure. Abstinence is an outstanding word to be appreciated! There's nothing ugly about it!

When are we as adults going to get a grip and realize that what we sometimes say and what actions we choose do affect not only ourselves, but these innocent, yet very smart, young impressionable groups of people? I'm not saying that all of us are role models. I am saying that our youth are already stressed by peer pressure, looking a certain way and being liked on a daily basis. Why make them feel uncomfortable about a choice that is becoming so rare amongst this generation, instead of commending them for making a logical decision?

Comments

[Pearlswan]

From an adult perspective, abstinence is not a realistic way to handle one's budding sexuality. As the article states, "No one can tell you when you're ready to allow your own body to experience something so beautiful, yet very powerful." And that includes "you," no matter how young or old "you" are.

I think young people ought to be provided with realistic approaches to mastering their sexual desires and impulses rather than denying them until marriage. How does marriage help master sexual impulses? It complicates sexual expression. Premarital sex or extra-marital affair? Once awakened, our curious sexual natures will wonder, "Would sex feel the same for me with a different partner?" Its safer to marry someone who has these answers before making a fidelity committment because only a flimsy legal contract of marriage protects you from the humiliation of a cheating spouse. Abstinence is useless unless you abstain from cheating on your partner. Sexuality is a form of self-expression.

The right thing at the right place and the right time is a thing of great power, abstinence included. Respect, yes. Abstinence, no--not very realistic or helpful until you experience what you are abstaining from first. Otherwise, its fear, not committment at the root of the abstinence. Fear is borne of weakness; committment is borne of strength. Failure breeds guilt; experience breeds confidence.

[LizzyTish]

I think it's a personal choice - whether it's based on faith or whatever, it's personal. There is no reason to make justifications to negate the choice of another. Much like casual sex, abstinence doesn't work out for everyone, but it does work for some - and that is simply not a matter for anyone else to judge. We should just support everyone's (privately reasoned) choices equally,and leave them alone about it, especially considering that in matters like this people's minds change (in both directions). Neither approach should be exalted as the social standard to meet, and each side should be able to have their heroes without having to watch them be attacked by an opposing viewpoint that appear inexplicably threatened by someone else's choices.