No, that's not Charle White's latest Dancing With the Stars routine up there -- this week's two dances are here and here, and down below. Hurry if you want to see them. ABC takes 'em down almost as fast as fan put them up.
The video up top explains why Charlie White deserves a fair shake. And why I care so much that he gets it.
Simple really. He plays fair. All the time. Even when others don't, he does.
Watch the video. It's clear that the infotainment host wants him to have a hissy about the brevity of his introduction packages and how DWTS rewards controversy because "happy" doesn't make "good TV." Unless it's Charlie dancing to the song that celebrates it.
White won't go for the "diss." Able to "pivot" an interview as gracefully as he twizzles on ice, he either twinkles, laughs and answers the part of the question he deems least insulting or changes the subject altogether.
In White's world, the judges are fair, the show is great, he's glad that he and Meryl have this opportunity to grow -- next question.
We need more of that in our world.
Fans attending Stars on Ice have said that they can hear that "Charlie laugh" from the wings before the show. And fans who saw the show in Chicago also got to watch him do this.
Just...an Olympic gold medalist and his dog. On ice. Being adorable. Welcome to White's World.
Oh, I'm nothing like impartial -- this is a blog, not a newspaper. Blogs are almost by definition people talking about anything they want, any way they want.
So let me talk about the big news from tonights show. HE FINALLY GOT THOSE TENS THIS WEEK!
His devoted mother, Jacqui, gave him an inspirational pep talk in this week's introductory package. So even with Dance Moms star Abby Lee Miller on hand and poised to pounce, White and choreographer Sharna Burgess quickstepped up to the plate...and danced it out of the park.
Miller made one gaffe, insisting that White "slick back" his hair from now on. She is, as host Tom Bergeron said, obviously not aware of all the sites and hashtags extolling the beauty of White's long locks.
But Bruno Tonioli -- after giving White a standing ovation even before the dance was over--said White stepped like a thoroughbred.
In fact, Sharna Burgess' choreography seemed designed to prove how fast those ice dancing feet could move in one section toward the end that seemed to be moving in "double time." I could just hear her thinking, "Is this special enough, Mr. Goodman?"
It apparently was. So while Goodman pretended not to be sure at first, when the time came, he added his "10" to the perfect scores across the panel.
What of White's contemporary group dance with Burgess, Candace Bure and Mark Ballas? Expertly lifting Bure into the air and across his shoulders and back in the longest extended lift in DWTS history -- priceless. Two 10s, two nines. And a roar from the crowd that wouldn't let the judges speak.
We won't have White's world to drop in on every Monday night forever. So once again, I'm alerting you to this priceless opportunity to see one of the most gracious, gregarious and graceful role models we -- and our kids -- have had in ages.
I won't tell you how to vote. No secret who gets all my votes.
Follow Cynthia Dagnal-Myron on Twitter: www.twitter.com/bioko