Hey, Yom Kippur. I see you. Don't act like you're creeping up on me. Once that shofar blew on Rosh Hoshana, I've had you in my cross hairs. You don't scare me like you used to, and this isn't the first time I've fasted. This surely isn't the first time...

I'm new to politics. For years I have avoided being an adult, and immersing myself in serious world affairs seemed like it would be the nail in the coffin for my childhood.

In the meantime, I've mostly restricted myself to following pop culture and referencing Craig T. Nelson vehicles...

I don't even like American Idol*, but last night's results have gotten me fired up. Not because Adam Lambert didn't win (while he's obviously talented, I don't think he's the god that everyone made him out to be), but because America seems to be in love with mediocrity.

Mediocrity...

According to a new book, Alex Rodriguez took steroids while in high school. Big whoop. The book also mentions that his Yankee teammates called him "Bitch Tits" in the locker room: a reference to his steroid induced, rounded man-breasts. (Side note: deciphering "B---h T--s," as it was printed in the...

Dear Tyler Perry,

As you can see from my picture, I am a white guy. Not even a cool white guy. I'm the white guy that black comedians do impressions of. And as you can imagine, like most white people, I do not see your movies.

That's not...

Sean Penn has been cast in The Three Stooges. This would be great news if Sean Penn was funny.

But Sean Penn is not. Sean Penn is the most serious person in the world.

Now all you naysayers will likely ignore that he's the most serious person in...

A few years ago, I saw Michael Jackson in Las Vegas.

Or, well, I saw a Michael Jackson impersonator. It was a 20 minute set, and I sat far enough away where I could suspend disbelief and actually convince myself I was watching the real deal. Needless to say,...

Let's face facts. Heath Ledger's going to the win the oscar for Best Actor in a Supporting Role. Not only does he deserve it for his performance, but it will be a tribute to a great actor that we lost far too early.

But the guy's screwing all the...

I spend a good chunk of my day on the internet. If I had to guess, I'd say I stare at my computer for around ten hours a day, hitting 'reload' on espn.com every five minutes (even though I'm pretty sure it updates on its own). Needless to say, I've...

He's Just Not That Into You comes out this weekend and I'm gonna see it. I don't really want to see it. But I will. It's out of my control.

It's inevitable. When I first saw the trailer, I knew my fate. I knew that whether it was in...

While driving in my car the other day, I slowly drove past a huge billboard of Rihanna. For those who don't have a hip girlfriend to inform them, Rihanna is apparently a huge pop star. According to Wikipedia she also "serves as the cultural ambassador for the island of...

Rickey would like to thank the Hall of Fame for making a bronze statue of Rickey. Rickey looks dapper in bronze. Rickey looks even better in a uniform and neon-green Mizuno batting gloves. Would anybody like to hire Rickey?

Rickey can run. Not could run. Can run. Rickey keeps...

Kate Hudson Theory: If Kate Hudson died immediately after Almost Famous, she would've gone down as one of the best actresses of all time.

For the record, I do not want Kate Hudson to die. She seems like an extremely friendly person, and I wish her no ill will. If...

I tried to get into Gossip Girl. I did. I was a huge fan of The OC (season 1 at least) and I even enjoyed the commercials for Chuck. It only seemed natural that I'd like another Josh Schwartz offering.

I did not. And while I should've made the...

NBC's decision to give Jay Leno the 10p slot is not only the latest ridiculous choice made by the network, but it's also a clear sign that the once proud Peacock has given up. They've basically announced, "You win, CBS. We're done coming up with new shows, so you just...