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Darrell Issa's Push to Abolish an Antiquated Law

Posted: 01/13/12 03:10 PM ET

Memo to: Fellow Members of Congress

From: Darrell Issa, Republican of California

Re: Support for legislation to abolish an antiquated law.

I urge you to join us in sponsoring the Hall-Latta-Flake-Issa-Upton-Noem-Goodlatte Act.

For too long, science has been trotted out to justify environmental protection, when it is actually being used to mask tax-and-spend policies that sink our economy. With that in mind, I ask you to support the next logical step in our Republican Caucus' crusade to abolish job-killing "environmental" laws and excessive regulations. Please join us in cosponsoring H.R. 32174, a bill to repeal the Law of Gravity.

Congress never passed this law. No president signed it. No court reviewed it. Not even Al Gore voted for it. As Sen. James Inhofe has said of putative "global warming," so-called gravity is "the greatest hoax ever perpetrated on the American people."

Congress never intended that whatever goes up must come down -- with the exception of taxes.

H.R. 32174, also known as the "Newt, not Newton Act," simply restores scientific understanding to where it was before 1687. Our bill would give this Congress the opportunity to consider economic impact when setting gravitational levels, and roll back a law that, as Gov. Rick Perry said of evolution, is really just a theory.

Even President Obama observed in his inaugural address that we need to "restore science to its rightful place." So, after government scientists officially declared that global warming is harmful, we voted to repeal their finding. To restore a proper balance between Americans' health and healthy profits, we voted to undo key administration proposals issued under the Clean Air Act.

Now, my House Oversight and Government Reform Committee will conduct hearings, with scientist witnesses representing both sides of the "gravity" issue, just as we did on supposed "global warming." "Gravity" skeptics will testify under oath that "gravity" is a fraud.

"Gravity" alarmists covered up internal emails that demonstrated their own questions about "gravitational pull," which the emails acknowledge has remained unchanged for 324 years. So, we will hold a hearing next week, "Gravitygate: How Do You Like Them Apples?"

It is well known that "No Newton is good Newton." Yet self-styled "scientists" perpetuate the myth of alleged "gravitational pull" to obtain government grants. If we spent less time bringing things down to earth and more time abolishing regulations, we'd all be better off.

Think of what we can save by repealing this law: There will be less bruising of fruit, which formerly fell from trees. This will increase agricultural productivity. Coal, oil and gas will drift to the surface. This will slash mining and drilling costs.

Most important, we will save money at the pump while cuffing the heavy hand of government -- and keeping oil industry profits safe. Without "gravity," our cars will float through the sky, making highways obsolete. With no highways there will be no highway trust fund -- so, no need for gasoline taxes to support it. Thus, by ending the "gravity mandate," we will bring down the price of gas. QED.

The only thing the so-called "law of gravity" hasn't held down is the federal deficit. That's why it shouldn't even be called "gravity" -- it's Obamity.

The Hall, Latta, Flake, Issa, Upton, Noem, Goodlatte (Read it aloud; we're not making these names up) bill will conquer the false notion of "gravity." We shall strike a blow for business over bureaucrats, for the free market over nature and for God over science -- knowing that if God wanted there to be "gravity," He would have put it in the Bible.

P.S.: With so-called "global warming" now discredited, there is no need to worry about rising sea levels. Please watch for our amendment removing funding for levees, in Rep. King's Congressional Authority to Neutralize Unfunded Tidal Excess, or the King CANUTE Act.


Dan Becker directs the Safe Climate Campaign, which advocates strong measures against global warming and believes in gravity. James Gerstenzang, who formerly covered the White House and the environment for the Los Angeles Times, is the campaign's editorial director.

 

Follow Dan Becker and James Gerstenzang on Twitter: www.twitter.com/safeclimatecamp

 
 
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01:26 PM on 01/17/2012
Clever, as comedy goes, but uncompelling. Unlike AWG, gravity doesn't have to rely on consensus science to carry weight. Its models are plain and simple products of hundreds of years of experimentation, and there aren't a lot of parameters and fudge factors (read: "opportunity") to the resultant equations for particle motion. Unlike AWG, the theory of gravity does not presuppose at once both a peril and a solution.

But it is always amusing to see the indignation of progressives who can't understand why not everybody is on board with their heavy-handed solutions to the theories they consider lemma.
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bobWal
10:27 PM on 01/14/2012
Repeal the law of gravity. We can then eliminate elevator inspections and all the OSHA inspectors for roofers etc. For that matter then the airlines can function with out the FAA pestering them.
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skwan91607
Favor to Internationalism
09:57 PM on 01/14/2012
GOP SMALL GOVERNMENT NEEDS THE FOLLOWING BIG LAWS:
1/- Kids decide what should be taught in school. Suggestion from Cain: Pokémon 2000 will give children inspiration to run for president later.
2/- Federal as well as states No objection to either GOP "YES" or "NO".
3/- Invest more to scientific study prioritized teaching of Intelligence Design.
4/- Gradually increasing the size of type face to 40/bold prints additional line on every page of Bible saying GOP helping God to create the universe.
Then, Americans are #1 in the world, the GOP STYLE, a stupidest "SMART".
08:13 PM on 01/14/2012
Nobody has measured gravity waves to my knowledge and big experiments are underway. The higgs boson, if it exists, gives elementary particles its mass, but was developed though some convoluted math as a last explanation where nothing more conventional worked. Gravity may be an indirect effect of other forces in our dimensional space and string theorists are looking at that. But newton showed early on you can repeatedly measure its effects and repeat the same experiment over and over again. I would posit it has something to do with how energy interactions deforms our dimensional space, and there is a whole theory of hyperdimensional space we simply don't see. As that collapses or expands over energy transformations, that may be our gravity generator.
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06:52 PM on 01/14/2012
How do we really know that gravity exists?

Has anyone ever seen it or tasted it? How can we know for certain that the whole thing isn't some Liberal/Socialist/Commie conspiracy designed to prevent us from going to Mars without space ships? Is gravity mentioned in the Bible, even once?

No one will ever convince me that something that cannot be seen really exists, and that goes for oxygen, too. The whole idea of some invisible atmosphere keeping us all alive is just too outrageous to be taken seriously, if you ask me.
01:58 PM on 01/14/2012
HIlarious. thanks for that!
01:44 PM on 01/14/2012
Darrel Issa probably has no time to read something like this.. he's too busy securing earmarks for his district that just happen to enhance the value of his commercial real estate holdings... Issa is exactly what's wrong with our government.
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DevonTexas
Eternal Optimism
10:21 AM on 01/14/2012
Seriously, if this was introduced in Congress it would get voted on along party lines. The GOPpers would carry it as far as they could while the rest of us laughed our a##es off!.
ThinkCreeps
Seriously, it's time.
04:29 AM on 01/14/2012
After the 1917 Einstein amendments, 1689 Newton-Kepler is still a good law.
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blueshield
11:59 PM on 01/13/2012
Thanks for this timely piece of reporting.

Personally, I believe we need legislation requiring that Gravity cannot be taught in schools without also teaching Levity. And then, let the kids decide.
ThinkCreeps
Seriously, it's time.
04:28 AM on 01/14/2012
There's no place for levity in todays classroom.

Kids need to decide between gravity and the pushed-down-by-god's-mighty-hand theory.
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DevonTexas
Eternal Optimism
10:25 AM on 01/14/2012
But the kids have only to read their Texas-authored textbooks to see that gravity is only a theory and the "hand of God" is more plausible.

OT... I have often puzzled over the significance of the fact that Kennedy was killed by a shot from the Texas School Book Depository. Symbolic of things to come?
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SilviaMaria
10:45 PM on 01/13/2012
Another law that Darrell Issa should urge to pass is the "The Earth is Flat Act".
09:23 PM on 01/13/2012
Couldn't have said it better. If you jump off the Sears Tower you will fall at 9.8 meters per second squared (not including air resistance).

If you increase CO2 concentration in the atmosphere from 28 one hundredths of one percent to 56 one hundredths of one percent the mean global surface temperature will go up 2.5 degrees C. It's the Mann/Jones/Briffa law and no one can claim it's not true. It's been completely proven without any shadow of doubt. (Except for air resistance.)


Cheers,
Linus521
In wildness is the salvation of mankind
09:09 PM on 01/13/2012
Why are our leaders utterly ignorant in the very science that articulates how the Earth functions and cycles to create and support all life or the science of ecology? Because our leaders reflect the thinking and ecological consciousness and ethics of the majority of Americans, the vast majority whose I.Q.'s are in the middle of the bell curve of human intelligence while the most intelligent Americans are in the low minority, far to the right on a line no wider than a sewing thread -- far removed from the majority intelligence range and therefore more capable of comprehending sciences, connecting the dots and grasping the big picture.

It is the least intelligent who form the majority of thinkers and voters, most of whom are clueless as to how Earth cycles and functions to create and sustain all life. It is my belief, a bit of intelligence is required to grasp the conceptions of science, especially with the lower I.Q's, the most easily brainwashed with mind numbing societal voices.
Genders
Love, Tolerance, Enlightenment
09:50 PM on 01/13/2012
The leaders know, they pander to the dupes whom the televangelists have convinced the earth is but 6000 years old....
Linus521
In wildness is the salvation of mankind
02:37 AM on 01/14/2012
We live in a world of intellectual miasma and brainwashing cliches. Most Americans are somewhere in space, totally clueless of the real issues involving our Earth and man's existence. We must educate, every American, how Earth functions and cycles to create and sustain all life. Only then, will we begin to save mankind and the Earth.
10:39 PM on 01/13/2012
Hilarious. You should use more concrete examples in your humour though. I had to read this a couple of times before I got the lampooning of the climate alarmists. Nice intellectual judo tactic but I thought it was a little off the mark. Could have used a little more detail,

Cheers,
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demisfine
Often correct, NEVER right.
06:17 PM on 01/13/2012
Perfect.
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mater
mater
05:41 PM on 01/13/2012
After a long and very painful day, I am so appreciative of this very pithy wit. I would be against signing the Law Against Gravity by Issa et al, because I think their proposition is full of hot air, which, if we're lucky may remove them and their environmental hysteria from our realm.