Cast: Dan = Dad, O = Son, Cat = Cat
Dan: (Enters Oscar's room, sits next to him.) I'm super proud of you, son.
O: (No response, continues to fiddle with Lego.)
Dan: Oscar, can you pause for a second and look up at me?
O: (No response, Lego fiddling becomes more intense.)
O: (Looks up.)
Dan: Thank you. I just wanted to tell you how proud I am of you. You are great. You are the best kid in the world. And I love you.
O: I'm trying to put this like the thing, but I can't get it.
Dan: Did you hear what I said?
O: (Stares blankly at Dan, as if looking through Dan at something more interesting, like the thing.)
Dan: Oscar! I said (immaturely elongated) I amm prrrroud of you. Good job! (pause) Do you understand?
O: (Nods yes, but he could give a sh*t, goes back to fiddling with Lego.)
Dan: (Under breath) Jesus Christ. (Out loud) I'm trying to give you a compliment. And when somebody gives you a compliment you should say "Thank you!"
O: Thank you, Daddy.
Dan: For God's sake. Did you even hear what I said?
O: Yes, Daddy.
Dan: What did I say?
O: That you should say thank you.
Dan: Why should you say thank you?
O: Can you get this to look like the thing?
Dan: Oscar, I asked you a question.
O: (Looks at Dan as if wondering whether his question had anything to do with the thing.)
Dan: Why did you say thank you just a second ago?
O: (Looks at Dan as if he has no recollection of five seconds ago)
Dan: I said that when somebody gives you a compliment, you need to say thank you.
O: (Eyes the room for clues as to why Dan decided on right now for this lesson on saying thank-you in response to a compliment.) Okay, Daddy. (Turns attention back to Lego.)
Dan: My GOD Oscar, I was giving you a compliment! I was saying something nice about you, TO you. Give me that. (Grabs Lego) Oscar. Listen. Do I have your attention? Good. I am proud of you for the--
O: (Tears up, not in the good way)
Dan: Oh brother... I'm just... everything is fine... Look! Here. (Gives back Lego) Take it. I'm sorry I raised my voice. Oscar stop. Jus t-- if... You will like what I'm trying to say!
O: (Pathetically) Ma-ma...
Dan: Don't Ma-ma. You know she's at work.
O: (louder) MA-MA! (Drooling sobs)
Dan: Mom's not here and you know she's not here.
O: (A deep, calming breath.) (Screaming sobs)
Dan: OK, now I'm getting upset so I'm just going to -- (gets up to leave)
O: I won't like you ever again!
Dan: Well that makes me feel very sad. (Leaves bedroom, closes door gently.)
O: (More screams)
Dan: I WAS TRYING TO SAY HOW PROUD I AM OF YOU!! Just so you know!!
Cat: (Stares at Dan, frozen.)
Me: Hi Kitty. You're a good kitty.
Cat: (Ignores Dan, licks paw.)
Total Time: 1.6 minutes
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