The Obama Presidency Is Finished

I tore my hair and beat my breast when I first heard the news. The people who delivered it to me fared little better. "The damage is done," lamented Mika Brzezinski on Morning Joe.

"No," I gasped as I sat upright in bed, turning the volume up on the TV that served as my alarm clock. "No, this can't be! He was doing so well."

But it's true. It's all over now, baby blue. Time's Mark Halperin went to pieces on the air, blubbering anxiously about whether Obama could just give it back. But, no, it's too late for that: Barack Obama has won the Nobel Peace Prize, dooming him to a lifetime of shame and humiliation.

Reaction from his political enemies was swift and brutal.

"This fully exposes the illusion that is Barack Obama," Rush Limbaugh told Politico.

"I did not realize [it] had an affirmative action quota," snarked RedState.com's Erick Erickson of the prize, the former recipients of which include Nelson Mandela and Desmond Tutu.

"This really might be his Carter whacking-the-bunny-rabbit moment," Mark Krikorian gloated at The National Review.

So that's it then. This is the way the dream ends, at the hands of a secretive cabal of Nordic socialists. Obama, brought low by his own kind. (The socialist bit, not the Nordic bit.) And, of course, the Nobel Peace Prize ends the upward arc of not just the president, but all those who followed along in his wake. Rumors that the entire Democratic National Committee had slipped across the border into Canada could not be confirmed as of this writing. MSNBC has reportedly replaced Keith Olbermann by rehiring Michael Savage. What remains of the Democratic Party is busily filing court papers to have the name officially changed to the Whigs.

I called my wife, already on her way to work, and told her to file for my death certificate, and then I started packing. The plan now is to take a suitcase over to my in-laws' boat, and then try to make it to Cuba before I'm rounded up as an Enemy of All There Is. Sure, I'm nowhere near as high up the rungs of punditry as the heavy-hitters over at MSNBC, who will now be put in camps, but I was on the Obama train early, back when the 2008 presidential primaries were just starting. There will be no quarter for the likes of me.

The Nobel Peace Prize. Jesus. Why didn't they just give him cancer instead?

 

 

Follow Dan Sweeney on Twitter: www.twitter.com/Daniel_Sweeney

Comments

[Bloggerrogr]

Cognitive dissonance, writ LARGE.

FWIW

[Lahonda]

It's something about them defending Christianity, you know...

[jhNY]

Somehow this Nobel reaction amongst the punditocracy reminds me of those cautionary tales that appear whenever some yahoo wins a big lottery prize, to the effect that all that money will ruin the winner-- which does sometimes happen-- and the sad story is endlessly spread all over the airwaves. My bet is, far more often, the winner pays off his bills, retires and has a lot of fun. And my bet here is similar: the Nobel Prize is great for Obama, and will give him confidence in his own best impulses-- so much so that he more regularly acts on them, and ditches the real-politik cynicism of some of his close advisors.

[lovetolast]

Thank you...fanned!

[dfranz]

In the Republican's Dream World all world leaders rise up and demand that Obama be impeached and then a birth certificate from Indonesia will show up and they will have the backing of the American people to do it.

The Republicans are incapable of seeing what 8 years of their failed policies have done to the United States world image. And they are incapable of acknowledging the positives being done by Obama to mend those torn relationships. They have nothing, their platform is NO, and they are quickly diminishing to a powerless minority.