My father was a man of reason. Like many post-WWII Naval officers, he majored in engineering and then went on to Harvard Business School. He took over the family business as expected -- manufacturing flush valves for toilets. Our family motto was, "It may seem like shit to you, but it's our bread and butter." But he was also a wildly romantic Irishman. I learned that when I was nine and found the diary he had written when he was 16. I read about how hurt he was that his sister Joan's girlfriends ignored him, his weekly reviews of the triple feature matinees that he went to every Saturday in Brooklyn and his first experience with death when a classmate died right in front of him on the track field. It really shook him. I think he was an altar boy at the funeral. Jack Delany was a typical Connecticut Cheever man of the 60's. He struggled with the conformity of suburban family life.
Even though he drove to the factory in Brooklyn every day, his dream was to be an architect. He loved to dance and taught me to Lindy as I perched on top of his feet. When the hullabaloo came out we learned it together from a book. He played "Red River Valley" on the guitar when he came home from work but not until he had his scotch. He was the first in the plumbing business to wear a Van Dyke (helped hide the Irish chin) and he loved the movies. He introduced me to French films. He was mad for Arletty in Les Enfants du Paradis. And I was mad for my dad. I memorized every crew list from his book The Great Films: Fifty Golden Years of Motion Pictures by Bosley Crowther -- hence my dubious expertise at Celebrity Jeopardy I think the last film we saw together was Steve Martin's The Jerk which made him laugh like a teenager. It would have pleased him to no end that I made a movie with Steve Martin 13 years later. I am an actor because of him.
In August 1980 I was in rehearsals in Edmonton Alberta for A Life, an Irish play by Hugh Leonard. It was a pre- Broadway tryout. My sister left a message on my service that I needed to call Dad. He very calmly told me that the pain that had been misdiagnosed for months turned out to be pancreatic cancer. It was inoperable and he had three months to live. I wanted to go to Virginia to be with him. He said no, he and Pat, his new wife of a year could manage and I needed to rehearse. He wanted to see me make my Broadway debut in December.
The rational side of my father researched every treatment available at that time. He decided against chemo for quality of life alone. It was the same year that Steve McQueen was in his fight against cancer. Being the movie buff, my father considered going to Mexico for the coffee enemas but ended up at the Kushi Institute in Boston. He was praying that a macrobiotic diet could cure him. Now you have to understand, my father was not a granola type. Maybe a Negroni or a Harvey Wallbanger type but... and yes, it was the tail end of the 70's, and he had a new younger wife, but to see my Dad eat daikon and seaweed was pretty laughable if it wasn't so tragic.
However, for whatever reason, he had very little pain and it gave him an extra six months. He had time to make peace with himself and his world. For a man who had lived with a lot of inward rage, my father died with grace and tenderness. And he did see my Broadway debut. I was 24 and he was 56. After he died, I thought "OK. That's what happens when you grow up. Your parents divorce, you graduate from college and your father dies. Shit happens. Life goes on." But in 2008, when I was standing proudly onstage for the groundbreaking Stand Up 2 Cancer special and I saw Patrick Swayze come out and speak with such beauty and strength about his battle with pancreatic cancer, I thought, "He's the same age as my father was. How is it possible that 28 years later, this is still going on? How is it possible that 75% of people diagnosed with pancreatic cancer are still dead within a year?"
And a year later, Patrick was gone.
And now, this week, Laura Ziskin, one of the founders of Stand Up 2 Cancer and my friend, is gone. When she called me up three years ago and asked me to participate in the program by having a mammogram on live TV, I did not hesitate. Because she told me she was going to cure cancer, and I still believe she will. Thanks to her and SU2C, 18 million dollars has gone to pancreatic cancer research. Launch a star in memory of someone you love at www.su2c.org. I love you Daddy, but this one's for Laura.
Danny Groner: Sister Act on Broadway Is Heavenly
I share your frustrations with this deadly disease. Pancreatic and Brain neoplasms are two disease where the medical community cant offer survival odds that are high at all. The pancreas is very deep in the coelom and not easily accessed by surgeons hands.
As American citizens, we are fortunate to have access to the American medical community where the survival rates of these tougher to treat cancers have outcomes that exceed twice the rest of the industrialized and advanced world. We are also on an exponential cusp of using technologic innovation in improving the detection, surveillance and treatment of these known fatal diseases. I really hope that America is allowed to continue its unparalleled paths of effective therapeutics that have seen breast and lung cancer survival more than double in this country from approximately 30-40% to know 70% in the last 25 years.
There is hope and nobody should forget that.
Thanks for a great father's day gift Ms. Delany. Her mother and I broke up when my stepdaughter was just 10, going on 11, but when I saw my stepdaughter's facebook answer to which memory she misses the most (her stepdad) it gave me great comfort. A daughter's love can mean so much even to us guys out there. Thank you sport.
There have been publications in very prestigious medical journals the last few years showing that following a few simple lifestyle changes, most of the major degenerative diseases can be eliminated. But who wants to give up their greasy hamburgers, their high salt bacon, their high fructose soft drinks, their cell phones, their pesticides, etc, etc? Better to declare War on Cancer, and keep those donations flowing. Endless war; that's what we do best!!
I don't know which is worse, to see a loved one die quickly or to see your once vibrant loved one shrivel to 70 pounds, lose all their faculties, and slowly, painfully slip away.
And as Ms Delaney stated, after all these years there is virtually no cure--or even definitive test-- for this disease.
And much cancer comes from nuclear radiation that has been poured into the environment since the 1940s. Nuclear Radiation is not "lifestyle-driven."
And blaming things on people instead of corporations is easy but wrong.
I don't think your statement about ionizing radiation is supportable. Certainly it is dangerous in large doses; there is debate about whether small doses are dangerous or hormetic (beneficial). But how many people have high exposures today to ionizing radiation, compared to those exposed to the many forms of non-ionizing radiation?
Ideology is wonderful; it allows you to substitute fantasy for facts.
My dad was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer in the late 1990's, and within 6 months he passed on.died. I wrote this as a tribute to him. Happy Father's Day to all the dads physically alive with us or living in our hearts.
Dad, I Miss You
You were a funny guy,
But you could make me cry,
Though when I needed a friend,
You were there for me.
You worked hard for us,
I knew I could trust,
You would always
Love and care for me.
Dad I miss you,
Wonder where you are tonight.
Dad I miss you,
Need you here to make it right.
In my early years,
You would dry my tears,
Comfort me at night,
When I was afraid.
Then I went off to school,
Sometimes I played the fool,
When I came home to you,
I knew I had it made.
Chorus
Chorus
Bridge
Do you think of me
How it used to be
And the good times that we shared?
I’ll always think of you,
The things we used to do,
And how much you cared!
I thought I knew it all,
Though at times I crawled,
And now I realize how hard,
It must have been for you.
Now that I’ve grown,
And have kids of my own,
I just want a chance to say
Dad thanks; I love you.
Chorus to End
Welcome if you'd like to hear it:
www.philipbruno.com
But there was just one lady that was found to have metastatic cancer, who lived for over 10 years in fairly good health, after declining any intervention past her initial laparotomy. You never know what your cards are.
Last Father's Day, my daughter gave me Randy Pauch's book. That's worth a read, if you have this or any other serious illness.
http://www.thelastlecture.com/aboutbk.htm
Everything is available by mother nature. Green tea is also a great prophylactic chasing free radicals.
Seaweed has the same effect. I had some prostate problems and cured it with pumpkin seed oil. In mediteranian countries this is known for centuries
imaging machines manufacturers and oncologists, etc. would be OUT OF BUSINESS.
CANCER = PROFITS.
One doctor, Burzynski, founded gene centered therapy: instead of announcing a step in the right direction the FDA and the American Cancer Society SUED him. For over a decade - until they lost.
Now they have stolen his work and are using it in trials as IT WORKS.
And there are no horrible side effects like with chemo.
Our government is allowing people to die.
For money.
It is heartening to find good advice no matter where it comes from. Thanks and happy father's day to you.
There is no money in curing a disease. The last disease that medical science cured was Polio.
Treatment, treatment, treatment, treatment - Profit, profit, Profit, profit,