I took my eldest son to get his hair cut the other day and noticed on the door to the salon an advertisement for a local "Mommy and Me" class. The flier included an illustration of a mother holding her toddler. There was no mention of dads and other caregivers being welcome as well.
Harmless, right?
When it comes to father's rights, I am certainly not a militant. Nor am I the type of person who takes offense at every little thing. However, when I read a flier for a toddler activity that only emphasizes motherhood, do I, as a dad, feel excluded?
You bet.
Do people intend to be exclusionary? Sometimes they do and sometimes they just haven't thought enough about what they are doing, as evidenced below:
There's a famous quote by Gloria Steinem that I think is worth repeating here: "Women are not going to be equal outside the home until men are equal in it." There's certainly been a lot of growth in terms of how the genders work together, but there's still a great deal of resistance from all sides. As a society, we still hold too tightly to old stereotypes of what moms and dads should be doing -- even when reality dictates we should be more open.
When it comes to childcare, it really is up to women to allow men into what has previously been their domain and a great place to start is to get rid of the moniker "Mommy and Me." So, if you are connected with such a class, consider getting the name changed to one that is more welcoming, like "Toddler Time" or "Toddler and Me" -- names that include not only dads but grandparents and other caregivers as well. It's small changes like this that, over the long run, will help alter attitudes and perceptions about our roles as men and women in our society.
Dana H. Glazer is the award-winning director of the feature length documentary The Evolution of Dad. To learn more about the project, please visit www.evolutionofdad.com.
The government is funding Fatherhood Programs that only offer benefits to fathers or fathers and children. No mothers get any benefits. No mom who is forced to pay child support can go to any of these Fatherhood programs and get help reducing child support to these great stay at home dads who took their children away after beating the mom then claiming they were "alienated".
Dads losing their jobs doesn't make them stay at home parents. It makes them parents who have lost their jobs who are now babysitting. There is a difference. Loving fathers take care of their children under ANY circumstance.
Men have to be good fathers for their children and they DO NOT NEED PERMISSION!
http://www.sensorysmartparent.com (notice it's "parent" not "Mommy"!)
In my area, they are more frequently called Parent and Me classes although they often include grandparents and nannies.
Translation of the above: "There's no injustice here, just a lack of interest by fathers in their children."
But in case you didn't pay attention to the video, the reason why the father in the video was refused membership is because the director of the program claimed that their existing female customers were demanding that fathers be excluded. With that dynamic, fathers would never have established a critical mass of customers to create any measurable difference. In other words, the problem is precisely institutionalized anti-father discrimination and NOT a lack of expressed parental interest by fathers. The injustice against fathers (and their children!) that was highlighted by the Youtube video in this article was very real.
I'm not sure why or when the name changed but my advice is to just force the issue or start your own parent and me groups. And you are right that I didn't watch the video -- I can't watch on this computer.