Christmas has earned the prestigious label of "the happiest time of the year." I disagree. I can think of so many other times of the year that are happier. We give this season too much credit, as we attempt to cram every last ounce of our "joyous spirit" into an "effing" gift bag, because we ALL hate the wrapping more than the shopping. Our lists become our preoccupation -- and let's all call a spade a spade and agree that by the time New Year's Eve arrives, we're all exhausted, bitchy and resentful. So, I'm going to call it -- things have shifted; we've all become seasonal martyrs of instant gratification. My retired martyr still refuses to make a comeback.
The blog I intended to write was about how learning to receive involves grace. Then I became curious, with all the emphasis on material giving whether keeping track of the less tangible things we are given all year could be a game changer -- in both the giving and receiving department. What if we wrote them ALL down, every tiny gesture that held grace, smiles, every single thank you and the "no" -- a blessing in disguise.
I feel like this season has slipped further and further away from the things that made it special. It was about people, a little magic, pageants, family gatherings and sharing great food -- a time with less focus on price tags and more on the heart.
When I was growing up I waited all year for that new Barbie or a new diary, the one with a lock and key. Christmas was our reward for being patient -- a lesson in delayed gratification and even an acknowledgment of our goodness all year. Our current day culture sees new phones, video games or those must-have shoes, purchased on demand throughout the year. The "now" Christmas mayhem, deserves to be more appropriately coined, the "commercial orgy" that co-opted our beloved rituals and traditions.
NO, I don't hate Christmas and I DO enjoy gift giving, meaningful gift giving -- all year long. I believe that giving rituals are essential for our connection. We need more of it -- giving. I have a deep reverence for the intention at the heart of Christmas, and I still catch a rare reminiscent glimmer cleverly hidden in the commercial Shiny Happy Christmas. Mostly, I feel the season has become an abandonment of personal connection, beliefs and traditions smothered by our desire for more (meaningless) stuff.
It's the people in life and the experiences we share that make up a life, Christmas giving all year long.
Nothing feels more special than when people give part of themselves, their time, presence, and their laughter. We all need genuine connections more than anything that can be bought and wrapped.
Getting up close and personal with our giving all year long is begging to be chosen. In my books, hand written notes are the most thoughtful gesture ever. A note to say "thank you" or telling someone why they are special is the best thing -- all year long. Because, come on, who doesn't like reading that they're loved and appreciated? Genuine compliments need to be fully acknowledged as "making a difference" in someone's life.
Ram Dass says: "If you want to test how enlightened you are, spend time with family." Loving people without condition and expectation is hard, especially when times are rough; those close to you live differently, are in times of crisis or thrive on drama. Love and kindness show up when we least expect it. Patience arrives with an emergency order of grace and sensitivity for the stories and journeys of others. And mostly for when we choose to extend love and kindness to those who don't deserve it, or appreciate it.
Here's what I seriously appreciate: The audacious and reality-affirming belief that gratitude, prayer, and our redemptive human need for each other are the most rewarding gifts.
I can't explain my relationship with prayer yet, I'm writing about it. I'm not the best pray-er (it's complicated), so I've made it a daily ritual. I pray for myself and others because that's how I channel my best power. I feel humbled and blessed when someone tells me that they've been praying for me -- others send heaps of healing energy that always lights me up. Because with all the things they have going on in their lives, they made time to pray and send healing energy for me, that's the greatest gift.
We need each other, more than ever. And that need can live deep in the heart of all things, even Santa Claus, the lights, and taking time to examine what we are to each other.
Sometimes taking the time to experience every moment is the magic we've been looking for.