How To Create Your Own Pandemic: Infectious Creativity Used By Big Pharma

Even though deaths from influenza have not increased at all in the past 20 years, have you noticed how much fear and anxiety the media has created about the common flu recently?  And even though the number of people getting the flu vaccine has increased tremendously in the past 20 years, the number and percentage of people getting the flu has not decreased in the past 20 years.[1] 

Why, oh, why then, is the media so obsessed with the flu? 

The answer is simple:  Big Pharma is wonderfully creative in marketing this pandemic.  But fret not, with a little instruction, you too can learn to create your own pandemic…here’s some history and some suggestions to make you successful…

Just prior to Donald Rumsfeld becoming Bush’s Secretary of Defense, he was the Chairman of the Board of Gilead Sciences, the company that created Tamiflu.  Rumsfeld and his associates seem to be as (in)effective in fighting viruses as they are terrorists, but this doesn’t stop them from making a buck or two (or more). 

In fact, according to Marcia Angell, MD, (the former editor of the New England Journal of Medicine), the top 10 drug manufacturers in the Fortune 500 made more profit in 2002 than the remaining 490 (!) companies combined. [2] The medical industrial complex can whip the butt of the military industrial complex easily. 

The “good” news about Tamiflu is that research shows that it will reduce a person’s symptoms of the flu by ONE day (isn’t that worth the $1.89 billion in sales that are expected in 2009?).  The fact that there is no evidence that Tamiflu will cure the H1N1 flu or even reduce its symptoms in a significant way seems to be a perfect fit for what was the “Bush Doctrine.” 

The diagnosis and prognosis of a “Western medical disease” (what might be called a “WMD”) seems to be based on faulty medical intelligence or simply selective medical intelligence. 

Tamiflu does have a tendency to cause various side-effects, but side-effects (and collateral damage) are simply the price that we have to pay for health (or war).  Some of the side effects from Tamiflu include suicide--but only if you're a child; delirium--but heck, if you're delirious, you might not even know it; convulsions--but you might learn some new dance steps; hepatitis and liver disease, but maybe it's good "exercise" for the liver; asthma and allergy symptoms--it is so good for you that it takes your breathe away! 

Sadly and predictably, using Tamiflu for treating the common flu will tend to increase the chances of creating super-viruses that will become immune to anti-viral drugs.  It is almost as though this drug has the capacity to create thousands (or millions) of “terrorist cells” that could threaten the body (and the body politic).

It is no surprise that former Secretary of State George Schultz is another member on the Board of Directors of Gilead Sciences, and business analysts have asserted that no other drug company had such a cozy relationship with the Bush Administration as this company (now, give me that look of "big surprise!").  

So...do not miss the boat.  Create your own infectious disease pandemic and media scare!  Just fill out the below questionnaire, and you can create the next disease that will be feared by all...you might even get a chance to NAME this disease...or better, get it named after YOU!...and if you are really smart, you'll pre-invest into the drug company that will successfully be able to treat one or two symptoms of the disease, even though some people may die from the drug's side effects.

And by the way...whether the swine flu or bird flu ever becomes a reality or not (or whether YOUR disease ever becomes a reality or not), you can claim with confidence that it was your concerns that helped PREVENT the pandemic.  You win either way! 

PICK AN ANIMAL AND A VIRULENT SOUNDING INFECTIOUS AGENT FOR YOUR NEW PANDEMIC:
a) cow prions
b) tortoise bacteria
c) duck virus
d) swine fungus
e) mosquito parasite
f) gerbil worm
g) fruit bat turds

CHOOSE AN INFECTION METHOD:
a) you touched or petted an infected animal
b) you eat meat or ate something that the infected animal once touched
c) you tied your shoes, but the laces had touched the ground in which the diseased animal walked
d) you had unprotected sex with nurses
e) you had unprotected sex with gerbils

CHOOSE A PART OF THE ANIMAL THAT IS PARTICULARLY DISEASED
a) cow brains
b) tortoise feet
c) pig tail
d) duck liver
e) dog tongues
f) bat blood
 
HOW DO YOUR VICTIMS DIE?
a) Dehydration from chronic urination
b) Eyes protrude out of their sockets with profuse bleeding
c) Head explosion
d) Throat constriction
e) Skin melting
 
SPEED OF THE DISEASE:
a) Slow, agonizing deaths with a protruding tongue
b) Slow and gentle progression into the night (with poetic dreams)
c) Rapid progression of the disease with fear and loathing
d) Rapid progression of the disease with mental confusion and other stuff (you'll hardly even know that you're sick!)
 
CHOOSE A TRAGIC, INNOCENT FIRST CARRIER:
a) Pregnant women
b) Katey Couric
c) Kittens
d) Virgins
e) Paris Hilton

CONSTRUCT A WORST-CASE SCENARIO WITH A POSITIVE SPIN ON IT:
a) Disease creates fear about any type of exchanging bodily fluids, making "Become a master of your own domain" the new public health slogan.
b) Disease shrivels breasts, creating depression for men and women, but makes a bundle for plastic surgeons.
c) Disease only kills the 1st born...but because new research has confirmed that terrorists are primarily 1st born children (they have early training on their younger siblings), terrorism disappears.
d) Disease smites the God-fearing Christians; people learn to love God.
 
THE MAGIC BULLET (with minor side effect):
a) Anti-viral  (grows hair on your palms...making being a master of your own domain easier to take)
b) Anti-fungal (reduces athletes foot too but creates web feet)
c) Anti-worm (creates acidic urine that kills earthworms in soils, destroying ability to compost food, but gives companies that manufacture fertilizers a major boost)
d) A herb (causes garlic breath)
e) A homeopathic medicine (doctors assert that it was an MD who discovered homeopathy in the first place, so they insist that they invented it)

CONGRATULATIONS! YOU'VE JUST CREATED:
a) A pandemic of fear and damnation
b) A pandemic of vaccine-related diseases
c) A pandemic of new drug sales for a disease that doesn't exist yet but that could occur at any time
d) A pandemic of cosmic and comic proportions
 
NOW, YOU HAVE TO GIVE THIS NEW DISEASE A GOOD NAME. MATCH YOUR ANIMAL AND ITS BODY PART TO ONE OF THE FOLLOWING:
Pox
Bubonic

Ebola
Wasting disease
Blood
Plague
Immunodeficiency
Auto-immune disorder
Immuno-confused
Iatrogenic
Idiopathic
 
POTENTIAL NAMES:
a) cow prions pox
b) duck virus plague
c) duck virus wasting disease
d) fruit bat auto-immune disorder

To add fuel to the fire, make certain to announce that there are presently inadequate amounts of the drug you need for treatment.  This is very important because it gives people the real sense that they are being left out...and that they MUST have this drug (whether it works or not...and whether the disease is real or not!).

AND NOW...THE BEST PART:  YOU CAN CREATE YOUR OWN VACCINE FOR THIS THEORETICAL DISEASE.  

Please know that you do not even have to prove that your vaccine works.  Tom Jefferson, MD, (ya gotta love THAT name!) is considered the world’s leading authority on influenza vaccinations.  He has authored ten reviews for the Cochrane Collaboration, which is the most respected international center that evaluates medical research.  Dr. Jefferson has asserted, “There is no evidence whatsoever that seasonal influenza vaccines have any effect, especially in the elderly and young children  No evidence of reduced [number of] cases, deaths, complications.” 

And now that the World Health Organization (WHO) has just changed its definition of the word “pandemic,” almost any new disease has the potential of becoming a pandemic.  A new (or old) disease simply needs one more death per year than is “normal,” and if we can simply get one death per continent, we’re in business!

 

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[1] Jefferson T. Mistaken identity: seasonal influenza versus influenza-like illness. Clinical Evidence. 2009. http://clinicalevidence.bmj.com/ceweb/resources/editors-letter-full.jsp?src=editorsletter_intro#REF3

[2] Angell, Marcia.  The Truth about Drug Companies. New York: Random House, 2004, p. 11. (Dr. Angell is the former editor of the famed New England Journal of Medicine and is presently a professor at Harvard Medical School.)

***

Dana Ullman, MPH, is America's leading spokesperson for homeopathy and is the founder of www.homeopathic.com. He is the author of 10 books, including his bestseller, Everybody's Guide to Homeopathic Medicines. His most recent book is, The Homeopathic Revolution: Why Famous People and Cultural Heroes Choose Homeopathy. Dana lives, practices, and writes from Berkeley, California.

 

 

Follow Dana Ullman on Twitter: www.twitter.com/HomeopathicDana

Comments

[Takuan]

Thimerosal in Swine Flu Vaccines is Safe? Who are we kidding?? http://wp.me/pC1DX-4j

There will be MOST DEFINITELY be thimerosal in many if not most H1N1 vaccines. Directly from the CDC: “The 2009 H1N1 influenza vaccines that FDA is licensing (approving) will be manufactured in several formulations. Some will come in multi-dose vials and will contain thimerosal as a preservative. Multi-dose vials of seasonal influenza vaccine also contain thimerosal to prevent potential contamination after the vial is opened. Some 2009 H1N1 influenza vaccines will be available in single-dose units, which will not require the use of thimerosal as a preservative. In addition, the live-attenuated version of the vaccine, which is administered intranasally (through the nose), is produced in single-units and will not contain thimerosal.”

[Sheldon101]

Google flu trend's history shows that it is about two weeks ahead of the CDC.

With that in mind, take a look at this:
http://www.google.org/flutrends/us/

[Sheldon101]

Except that Ullman is wrong. 2009 H1N1 isn't a made up disease and it isn't one that should be ignored.

For kids it's much worse than the regular flu.

Please read the start of the article again.
"ATLANTA — Health officials said Friday that 76 U.S. children have died of swine flu, including 19 new reports in the past week – more evidence the new virus is unusually dangerous for the young.

The regular flu kills between 46 and 88 children a year, according to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention. That suggests deaths from the new H1N1 virus could dramatically outpace children's deaths from seasonal flu, if swine flu continues to spread as it has."
----------­­---------­-­----- that's scary ----------­­---------­-­---
http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/10/10/cdc-76-children-dead-of-s_0_n_316197.html#postComment

The flu vaccine is pretty effective (60-70% effective in healthy adults) in protecting against the flu. The rate may be a bit lower in kids. Anybody got good rates for kids? But let's pretend that it's not very effective in kids. We know it is incredibly safe. So who cares if it isn't that effective. Protect your kids. Get them the vaccine.

[Takuan]

Safety & effectiveness of H1N1 Vaccine not established in pregnant women, nursing mothers or small children.

[tamarque]

well done dana. sometimes humor is the best teacher, especially when so many have lost their way and bearings.

[Sheldon101]

I guess I have a poor sense of humor. I don't think 76 dead kids is anything to laugh about.

[stevescrutton]

Dana, I am enjoying your blogs, and this one was quite funny, and would have been more so if it was not so alarmingly true. And if Tamiflu is expensive, ineffective, with deadly adverse reactions, and the prospect of creating new super-viruses, just as antibiotics have produced deadly super-bugs, what about the new Swine Flu vaccination?

What is perhaps missing is consideration of how homeopathy can treat influenza, of whatever strain or type, and how it can do so safely and effectively. Perhaps your next blog will go into this. It is one thing for people to be frightened by the conventional medical establishment - quite another to understand that we do not have to be reliant, for to feel we are reliant, on their dangerous drugs, vaccines and treatments.

[Sheldon101]

I know of lots of recently done good and excellent quality studies on vaccines and even the flu vaccine. Yes, there is a minority view that despite agreeing that vaccines work, has questions about the effectiveness of flu vaccines. It is fair to say that the scientific community overwhelmingly accepts that vaccines, especially ones been given recently, are exceptionally, exceptionally safe. And much, much safer than any of the conditions they prevent. As well, we have a very good understanding of how vaccines work that fits in with everything else we know about the living body.

No one will disagree that homeopathic vaccines and other remedies are safe. After all, how can a tiny bit of water,alcohol or a small sugar pill with nothing added hurt you. Effectiveness is another story. Are there any homeopathic vaccines that have been proved effective in recent studies of the type and quality seen in regular vaccines? As to regular homeopathic remedies, are there any recent studies of the type and quality needed for regular drugs?

Homeopoathy violates everything we know about biology and chemistry.

[Takuan]

Check your PDR under "Traumeel" Sheldon for studies of a good homeopathic pain reliever. PDR stands for Physicians Desk Reference in case you didn't know.

It costs drug companies about $800 million to fund the studies to get into this publication. Unfortunately, the makers of Traumeel don't have the money to wine and dine physicians to get them to recommend or even know about the existence of this well researched product. The studies were simple and elegant and definitely recommended reading for "$KEPTIC$". Money trumps $CIENCE when it comes to drugs.

I have absolutely no financial affiliation with the makers of traumeel btw.

[Takuan]

Could you please show the studies documenting the safety of vaccines in Healthy Children? Seriously. Where are all of the safety studies of flu vaccines and children? We're going to be vaccinating millions of them and there are legitimate safety concerns. Nobody is promising families that this vaccination program is safe or won't harm their kids. Flu shots = money, not safety. Additionally, none of the patient inserts from the vaccine manufacturers claim the vaccine will prevent you from the H1N1 Swine Flu Parents will be able to read this for themselves. This is not a conspiracy. Families want and need to know this information.