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Dani Klein Modisett
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Entries by Dani Klein Modisett

LA Billboards Make This Mommy Want to Rip Her Eyes Out

(2) Comments | Posted June 26, 2014 | 11:19 AM

When I was reading Los Angeles Magazine the other day, the names of the producers and stars of the upcoming movie starring Cameron Diaz were so stretched out and small that I had to grab my kids' magnifying glass to make out them out. This surprised me, only because I...

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The Ripple Effect

(8) Comments | Posted January 3, 2013 | 12:35 PM

"Hey Lady, are you going to take that spot?" a voice yelled to me from a pickup truck in the parking lot of the post office this morning. I had paused for a minute, stopped by the sound of a little boy's laughter. Distracted to paralysis thinking about my boys....

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Fifty Shades of Fear

(89) Comments | Posted May 17, 2012 | 3:23 PM

When I found out my second child was also going to be a boy I have to admit, I danced a little jig -- and I'm not even a wee bit Irish. Not that I don't love girls and women, and in fact, I can think of little else more...

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Everything I Need To Know To Stay Happily Married I Learned Being A Comic

(17) Comments | Posted April 30, 2012 | 6:25 PM

In the time that my husband, Tod, and I have known each other, we dated for a year and a half, lived together, became engaged, put together a sweet wedding on a budget, had a child, bought a house, worked hard to have a second child, pulled it off with...

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I Wanna Be Newt Gingrich: One Mom's Dream

(0) Comments | Posted February 15, 2012 | 11:06 PM

A few weeks ago I was feeling pretty off my game. I had caught a cold that gave me a hacking cough, incessant nose-blowing, and a magnetic pull to my bed that made me even less eager to play "Zombie Mommy" with my boys.

Then I got some crushing...

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My Kids Stole My Ambition!

(59) Comments | Posted February 2, 2012 | 5:40 AM

OBJECTS IN THE MIRROR MAY APPEAR MORE AMBITIOUS THAN THEY ARE.

I was voted most likely to succeed in ninth grade. Hold your applause. Now, I don't want to be excessively self-deprecating and assert that it's been all down hill since, but I think it's fair to say that a...

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14 Reasons Why Being A Stay At Home Person Sucks

(354) Comments | Posted January 16, 2012 | 11:48 PM

1. Because I know having two beautiful, healthy children to care for is the biggest privilege I've ever been given and for that fact alone I should never, no way, no how, allow myself to feel the intense rage that wells up in me at least once a day many...

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To Lie Or Not To Lie

(376) Comments | Posted January 4, 2012 | 3:00 PM

"Mommy, I tried my applesauce today!" my four-year-old says, climbing in to his car seat.

"Wow, Gideon, that's great!" I respond, sounding like a member of a children's theater troupe. Only I'm not acting. Whenever either of my boys voluntarily eats anything that isn't bread or cheese I practically dance...

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Coach Joe Had To Go (Because Memories Of Being Molested Never Do)

(38) Comments | Posted November 10, 2011 | 9:35 PM

My son turned eight this year. No more goofball parties with buttercream frosted cakes in superhero shapes and crowds of little boys rushing the door, holding their crotches until you ask them, "Do you need to use the bathroom?" and they run away to their Mommies.

These boys are sophisticated...

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Bad Boy Mommies: Why I Want To Be Their Friend So Badly

(13) Comments | Posted November 3, 2011 | 7:39 AM

Sunlight streaked through the window of the classroom creating a halo of cool around her head. Her hair was sleek and shiny, with the kind of highlights that say, "What? I was born this way bitch." She wore a fitted, crisp, white shirt, notable for the fact that it was...

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