With the mental energy necessary to contrive some of these plots, I can see why Gossip Girl needs such frequent breaks. Let's see what they conjured up for us after their most recent hiatus:
8:01 Okay, I love Blair's horrible British accent.
8:03 Three minutes in and Cyrus has already earned his paycheck for the episode. He's always welcome here.
8:04 Chuck's date can hold her breath for 5 minutes. Presumably that's how long Chuck had to smother her before he defiled her corpse. I can't believe it took me this long to realize that he was the heir apparent to American Psycho.
8:05 Nate got into Columbia, Blair's being pushed to attend NYU (apparently a bastion of lesbianism). Wonder if this has anything to do with Gossip Girl being shot in New York.
8:07 Rufus practically left tread marks running out to shop with Lily. He is to whipped as she is to preggers.
8:09 Blair makes a brash deal with Grandfather Vanderbilt. I don't see this ending well. Oh, and my friend's brother was just bar mitzvah'd in that "church" they were sitting in.
8:15 That awkward silence you heard around the country was the sound of an overly elaborate joke about Joe Lieberman's wife falling completely flat. Who could have predicted that?
8:17 So Serena got married in Spain. You can't let these van der Woodsen chicks out of the country for a minute without an epic disaster.
8:23 Someone on the writing staff just realized that cater, waiter and seder all rhyme. And he felt like sharing.
8:26 Jenny can try to explain it however she wants, but would you ever bring a date to play board games at your dad's girlfriend's apartment? I guess the answer is yes if the guy who almost raped you also lives there. Romantic.
8:27 Memo from Gossip Girl: "Williamsburg is over." Sadly, this is confirmed by the fact that I am blogging about this show from Williamsburg at this very moment. I concede that I have cost my neighborhood some serious street cred.
8:28 Further loss of dignity for me and the 'Burg: the fact that I just used "street cred" in a sentence.
8:28 Hell of speech by Nate, with some damn fine acting, to boot. And no, I'm not being sarcastic...too bad that disclaimer is necessary in regard to Nate's acting.
8:29 The Spanish Inquisition has come to their seder? This cliffhanger has me expecting the Jewish dinner guests will be tortured into changing their faith after the commericial.
8:36 Rufus is having issues with his yarlmuke positioning. And if you maintained hair like that, why ever cover it, even for God?
8:37 Wow, I am loving this seder. Best scene in a long time. One question though: why isn't Aaron there?
8:44 Interesting choice by Lily to wear a gigantic jade shamrock to Passover.
8:55 What's Rufus going to do for his next job? Who cares... he's got a sugar mama. He makes the waffles, she takes care of the bacon.
8:58 In the span of three minutes, Chuck, Nate and Blair all made completely rational and mature apologies. What the hell is going on?
8:59 So Poppy got Gabriel to entrap Serena in order to... mess with her? Steal her money? Throw competing engagement parties? I don't get this.
But damn good episode nonetheless. And no Vanessa. Coincidence?
Until next week, stay spottin' like a polka-dot telescope.