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Dan Treadway
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Dan Treadway is a writer living in Brooklyn and a former associate blog editor for the Huffington Post. He is also a contributor to the sports section of The Onion. His personal website is DanTreadwayDotComWasTaken.com.
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Entries by Dan Treadway

How to Become a Cat Lady in 5 Simple Steps

(112) Comments | Posted November 8, 2013 | 3:26 PM

This was the day that I determined that I would hate cats forever: I was about six or seven years old and my mom was talking to one of our neighbors down the street. I decided to walk home, and along the road I noticed black tabby grooming itself. My...

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INFOMERCIAL: Introducing 'Liberty' by the GOP!* (*Some Restrictions Apply, Not Available to All)

(191) Comments | Posted October 10, 2013 | 2:13 PM

Are you frustrated? Tired of gridlocked government? Wish this whole shutdown thing would just end?

Introducing: "Liberty," the traditional word utilized by conservatives that can mean whatever you want it to!

Tangible legislative goals can require exhausting amounts of time and compromise in order to come to fruition. But...

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Stop Making Stupid People Famous

(53) Comments | Posted September 16, 2013 | 11:47 AM

Last night, Nina Davuluri became the first Indian-American woman to win the Miss America pageant. Following the announcement, it seems that most Americans only had racist things to say in response to the historical moment. At least, that was the impression I got from my social media circles, which spread...

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The Massive Government Train Wreck Nobody's Really Talking About

(249) Comments | Posted August 9, 2013 | 4:30 PM

What's the biggest crisis facing the nation right now?

Depending on who you ask, you'll probably get a very different response. But just based on the results from the latest CBS poll asking Americans which issue they feel Congress should focus on, the answer is the economy,...

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Why Does the NCAA Exist?

(61) Comments | Posted August 6, 2013 | 1:39 PM

"The NCAA was founded in 1906 to protect young people from the dangerous and exploitive athletics practices of the time," so states the National Collegiate Athletic Association on its official website.

The NCAA often likes to harp on tradition and the sanctity of the term "student-athlete," but it...

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Rick Perry Taking on Wendy Davis Is the Best Case Scenario for Texas Democrats

(139) Comments | Posted June 28, 2013 | 11:36 AM

I feel like I say this a lot, but: What the hell was Rick Perry thinking?

On the heels of Tuesday night's much-publicized emotional proceedings at the Texas State Capitol, Rick Perry has decided to shoot back at State Senator Wendy Davis with a misguided...

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Wendy Davis' Filibuster May Have Turned the Tide of Texas Politics

(146) Comments | Posted June 26, 2013 | 11:56 AM

"Why bother?" I remember my friend, a fellow native Texan, saying as we walked by our Student Union building at The University of Texas in November of 2010. The polls were open but he saw no reason to vote. "It's just going to be Perry again."

My friend's pessimism...

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A Basic Guide to Watching the NBA Finals (for People With No Knowledge or Interest in the NBA Finals)

(26) Comments | Posted June 6, 2013 | 2:14 PM

We are now entering roughly month 14 of the NBA playoffs, and have arrived at last to the series we've all been waiting for: the NBA Finals. This year's finals should be a heavily watched event as it pits the defending champion Miami Heat against the San Antonio Spurs, one...

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Michele Bachmann Wasn't the Caricature the Tea Party Needed, But She Was the Caricature the Tea Party Deserved

(435) Comments | Posted May 30, 2013 | 1:25 PM

It has become a common narrative for politicians in general, but especially so for high-profile members of the Tea Party: She came, she saw, she left in disgrace.

On Wednesday morning, Michele Bachmann, a Minnesota representative who somehow managed to dominate the political spotlight in a state that's represented in...

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To the 79 Percent of People Who Don't Think the Washington Redskins Should Change Their Name

(91) Comments | Posted May 3, 2013 | 3:02 PM

There is progress and then there is stubborn ignorance. Progress is a gradual change that occurs in response to injustice or bigotry; stubborn ignorance is rejecting progress that has already occurred, and instead sticking by outdated sensibilities because you're too damn lazy to change.

Congratulations, 79 percent of America, you...

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Despite Their Best Efforts, Monday Belonged to Jason Collins, Not the Worldwide Leader in Sports

(35) Comments | Posted April 30, 2013 | 1:42 PM

In his groundbreaking column published on Monday in Sports Illustrated, Jason Collins made it fairly clear that he never wished gain notoriety because of his sexuality.

I didn't set out to be the first openly gay athlete playing in a major American team sport. But since I am,...
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What Some of History's Most Iconic Headlines Would Look Like If the Koch Brothers Ran Newspapers

(108) Comments | Posted April 23, 2013 | 11:43 AM

In a definitive nod to the fact that they have more money than they would know what to do with, the Koch brothers have reportedly recently set their sights on the newspaper industry. The brothers -- who actually aren't named Randolph and Mortimer -- reportedly revealed...

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A Basic Guide to Watching March Madness (for People With No Knowledge or Interest in March Madness)

(7) Comments | Posted March 20, 2013 | 1:51 PM

Much like Netflix and hot dog eating contests, March Madness is an American staple that holds the very fabric of our society together.

By now you've probably already been coaxed by friends or co-workers to fill out a bracket in honor of the festivities. To those uninitiated with college basketball,...

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Don't Give Rob Portman a Free Pass

(392) Comments | Posted March 15, 2013 | 1:34 PM

Days before the Supreme Court hears arguments on the Defense Of Marriage Act, the gay rights movement has gained a powerful, and certainly unlikely, ally.

Rob Portman, a conservative senator from Ohio, recently announced that he has reversed his longheld stance against gay marriage.

The reason for this change of...

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A Guide to Watching the Super Bowl (for People With No Knowledge or Interest in the Super Bowl)

(49) Comments | Posted February 1, 2013 | 12:28 PM

Last year the Super Bowl attracted roughly 111.3 million viewers. The average Super Bowl viewer is American and alive, so if you fit within these demographics, there's at least a decent chance you will be coaxed into watching the game. This will likely occur either by attending a...

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Praying the Rick Perry Away

(86) Comments | Posted January 30, 2013 | 11:52 AM

There is evil prowling in the world -- it shows up in our movies, video games and online fascinations, and finds its way into vulnerable hearts and minds. As a free people, let us choose what kind of people we will be. Laws, the only redoubt of secularism, will not...
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Are We Really Outraged By Steroid Use in Athletics?

(87) Comments | Posted January 11, 2013 | 3:30 PM

I remember what I was doing when Mark McGwire broke Roger Maris' home run record in the summer of 1998. I was a 10-year-old in my pajamas running around in circles in my living room. I was so excited jumping up and down that I lost my balance and broke...

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A Brief Summary of Things That Cause Gun Violence According to the NRA (Probably)

(180) Comments | Posted December 21, 2012 | 1:04 PM

In the past few days there has been serious discussion and, remarkably, action, in relation to the topic of gun control, with President Obama tapping Joe Biden to come up with new policies that will curb gun violence.

At the press conference on Friday, NRA executive vice...

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Football and Guns

(171) Comments | Posted December 4, 2012 | 10:45 AM

They can shatter bones and end lives, but their importance to our culture makes any critical conversation about the obvious dangers they pose taboo. But it's only at their most lethal that they expose the depressing depths our country will go to in order to rationalize their presence.

Of course,...

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Transcript of Barack Obama and Mitt Romney's Passive-Aggressive Lunch in the Oval Office

(7) Comments | Posted November 30, 2012 | 1:03 PM

Barack Obama: Mitt, it's great to see you, welcome to the Oval Office!

Mitt Romney: Barack, it's my pleasure.

*President Obama goes in for hug*
*Governor Romney goes in for fist pound*
*Both pause*
*President Obama goes in for fist pound*
*Governor Romney goes in for...

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