THE BLOG
01/10/2012 11:24 am ET Updated Mar 11, 2012

FWD: Best BCS Championship Game Ever! Can't Believe They Bought It!

From: Bill Hancock (DollarBill@BCSfootball.org)

To: ESPN, Vizio, Tostitos, Discover, Allstate, UniversityPresidents.listserv, The1percent.listserv

Subject: Best BCS Championship Game Ever! Can't Believe They Bought It!

They totally bought it!

I don't know how we did it, but we once again convinced America our system determines the legitimate national champion and they just... went with it.

I know I tell you guys this all the time, but I love you.

When I took over as Executive Director of the BCS in 2009, I knew I'd have my work cut out for me. It's a remarkable challenge to make people believe that our system can definitively select the two best teams in college football year in and year out without utilizing the obvious alternative of a playoff. Honestly, without your consistent support, I know there is simply no way I could pull it off -- particularly this year. Without a doubt this was a team effort all-around, guys.

As many of you know, this year we had our most difficult sell since we gave borderline division II football school UConn a spot in the Fiesta Bowl. We had to somehow market and sell the idea that people should watch a rematch of LSU and Alabama, with the victor being definitively declared the national champion. I know we were worried about the media pointing out the hypocrisy in how we legitimize our system by claiming the regular season serves as a playoff, but then rationalized awarding a rematch of a game that occurred in the regular season. But fortunately talks of boycotting the game never picked up steam. I guess there are a few perks to selling the broadcasting rights to our games to the nation's main source for college football news ;-) Loooove you, ESPN.

I mean, when we can use arbitrary rules and measures to prevent smaller, less lucrative schools from playing in our bowl games, that's great. But when we're able to convince the nation that a school that didn't even win their division within their conference is somehow the best team in the nation... Well guys, that's why I got into this business.

Going into the game we were working from behind as a result of ESPN going just a little overboard in November calling the first match up between LSU and Alabama "The Game of the Century" when it turned out to be not even the best game in its time slot. Making people believe that the same teams would produce a more exciting game the second time around after spending weeks collecting rust leading up to the contest was a tough sell. But it seems that when we puts our collective powers together, we can get the public to watch anything.

Seriously, did you watch the game on Monday night?

Anything.

We all know what went down in the Superdome had all the intrigue of Meatloaf night at Shady Grove retirement home, but the commitment we showed to acting like this was a great defensive stand-off rather than an offensive calamity was nothing short of Oscar worthy.

Let me take a moment to give particular praise to the work of Brent Musberger during the game, who going into the fourth quarter managed to make the idea of LSU crossing the 50-yard line on offense a compelling plot line. With The Bachelor two-hour special in full swing, Brent knew something had to be done to keep viewers glued to this glorified do-over and the man who has made his life's work in blowing moments out of proportion had his finest hour. In other good news, I actually received a call from the people at Guinness in the middle of the second quarter informing me that Mr. Musberger had set a new World Record for mentions of the term "Honey Badger" in a single nationally televised broadcast at 1,312. Double congratulations, Brent!

Also another well-deserved shout out goes to our producers who managed to give out our "Allstate Good Hands" plug/award despite the fact their were few things good and even fewer things related to hands in this game. Despite this, quick thinking on their part allowed them to give the distinction to Alabama quarterback A.J. McCarron for the "good hands" he displayed while holding field goals. Seriously. And I'm pretty sure people bought it! But either way, we got that Allstate logo on the air, so way to go guys!

Hold your heads high, gentlemen. Tonight we truly gave America a game that nobody (between Tuscaloosa and Mobile) will ever forget.

And what I'm most proud of is how we did a great job staying on message immediately following the game by not even bothering to question the idea of naming Alabama the undisputed champions despite the fact that they only split the season series with LSU.

University Presidents, I know you're now going to face the same questions about installing a playoff in college football but remember to just stick to the same talking points I gave you in that memo before the season:

--"We're going to have discussions and look out for the best interests of the University."
--"It's something that I have had deep considerations about thinking about the possibility of maybe considering bringing up to our regents."
--"No comment."

Remember to just rinse and repeat all off-season until next September when everyone's team is undefeated again and fans forget about the fact that the vast majority of schools cannot play in the national championship game even if they go undefeated by virtue of the set-up of the current system.

Now I know this doesn't need to be said, but we all know why we need to keep this system in place. There just aren't really any enterprises left in our capitalistic society that allows the ownership to earn revenue without paying the talent that generates it. The scholarship racket is the best thing we got going, but please try to play down your low graduation rates a little better this off-season. We need to make it look like the majority of football players at major programs are at least getting a marketable degree out of this or the public may stop watching college sports.

Hahahaha, just kidding.

Love,

Bill Hancock
Executive Director, Bowl Championship Series

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