Why Motherhood Is Disgusting

What makes motherhood disgusting is the way we treat mothers. It's filthy, the disregard and discontent we seem to have for women who have brought life into this world.
This post was published on the now-closed HuffPost Contributor platform. Contributors control their own work and posted freely to our site. If you need to flag this entry as abusive, send us an email.

All too often, motherhood or birth or procreation in general is labeled as disgusting.

Women who've made the decision to become mothers are painted with a brush of disgust.

It's gross what their bodies do, growing and expanding and secreting and tearing and doing what can only be described as natural.

It's nasty, the aftermath that is left behind thanks to nine months of growth and an untold number of laborious hours.

She probably has scars or stretch marks or extra pounds and my-oh-my, how unattractive.

It's filthy, the amount of poop and pee and bodily fluids a mother deals with on a daily basis. It's on her hands or vomited all over her shirt or lingering on her warn-three-days-in-a-row pair of pants and it's as unbecoming as it is unsanitary.

It's nauseating, her inability to take care of herself with a simple shower or the brush of her teeth. She's so worried, with breakfast and lunch and deadlines and nap times and house cleaning, that she neglects herself.

How lazy.

How careless.

But trust me, that isn't what makes motherhood disgusting.

What makes motherhood disgusting is the amount of pressure we put on women to be what we think they should be. A woman cannot simply produce life, she must do so looking flawless and painless and perfect.

What makes motherhood disgusting is how quick we are to shame the very bodies that are responsible for our existence. We snicker in corners and whisper behind backs and post malicious words publicly, condemning women for allowing their bodies to change and grow and endure.

What makes motherhood disgusting is the sense of self we encourage women to lose. If a mother takes a moment to regroup or a well-deserved break or finds happiness and contentment outside of her family, she is selfish. We demand that she strip herself of the things that mattered before she was a mother, forgetting that those things are what helped make her a mother.

What makes motherhood disgusting is how frequently we tell women to be ashamed of the very body that made them a parent. We ask that they cover up their breasts when they're being used to sustain and feed and nourish another human being. We ask that they refrain from exposing their round, ever-expanding form because they take up too much space or do not fit a societal standard of beauty.

What makes motherhood disgusting is the judgement women face for their parenting decisions. If their beliefs or choices or labored efforts do not mirror someone else's, they are met with endless -- and often times, violent -- opposition. They're made to feel small and ill-equipped and broken, as mothers and as women.

What makes motherhood disgusting is the discrimination women face when sharing their birth story. If a woman chose an epidural or underwent a C-section or birthed at home or decided to hire a doula or had a team of OBGYNs, she did it wrong. We negate the birth she experienced, and her unique journey into parenthood, because it doesn't mirror someone else's. We make her feel less than, even though she has done something incredible.

What makes motherhood disgusting is the lie we tell mothers. We tell them they should be sacrificing constantly. We tell them they shouldn't care about themselves. We tell them they're "doing it right" if they are constantly exhausted or emotionally drained or physically suffering. We actively promote self-destruction -- in the name of love and family and parenthood -- instead of reminding women that they cannot take care of anyone if they don't first take care of themselves.

What makes motherhood disgusting is the way we treat mothers.

It's filthy, the disregard and discontent we seem to have for women who have brought life into this world.

It's nauseating, the amount of public anguish and embarrassing pain mothers have to face on a day-to-day basis, in the midst of trying to be responsible parents.

It's gross, how comfortable we are judging mothers for the choices they make.

It's nasty, that the real reasons why motherhood is disgusting will get pushed aside as people focus on a mother's body or breastfeeding or clothes or decisions.

It's disgusting, what we've done to motherhood.

Popular in the Community

Close

HuffPost Shopping’s Best Finds

MORE IN LIFE