Sex & the Single Mom

Tom Leykis has great advice for single men -- prey on single moms. This advice, shared by a DINKy best friend and her hubby who found it hysterical was actually rather offensive. Single mothers are 'lonely, horny and tied down to a few hours of availability' which means minimal attention and time requirements from 'suitors', maximum sexual pleasure and the ever-present excuse of 'but the kid ain't mine' when the time comes to pull the plug. He suggests making promises you've no intention of keeping. DINK husband, in his bachelor days pulled this trick successfully on more than one single mother. Single mom's new mantra -- "Tom Leykis fans need not apply". That is, assuming there's energy left over after putting the tot(s) to rest at the end of a very long day to get sexy, sassy and dolled up enough to go on the hunt for datable material! Mustering the energy to date at all can be trying enough without the reality of Leykis followers waiting to pounce.

According to St. Tom, single moms are easy targets because they frequently have little adult conversational intercourse outside of the professional realm, thus comparing the 'lines' to plain kindness can be tough. Especially when you factor in the Leykis-loving male set shamelessly filling any orifice they're privy to, woe be gone the moral implications of deceit.

Being an affectionate and very sexual single woman and mother, there's often a tiny pang of envy for those with a partner to share their bed at day's end if only for the sex. Ah -- the simplicity of coitus when it's in house! Single mothers simply have another person's feelings to consider and must maintain a constant vigil for the protection of her offspring from the Tom Leykis fan who might purport to be a wanna be daddy then ditch. The thought of explaining to your child or children what happened to a man who has become a frequent fixture in the house when he, Leykis enthusiast or not, is enough to make you either swear off sex altogether and bolster your sex toy arsenal or to proceed with the utmost "arms-length" out of house caution any responsible mother must.

I wonder, how Mr. Leykis would have felt watching a man do the things he suggests and encourages to his mother .

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Comments

[Ravoon]

I was in a long-distance relationship with a man who turned out to be very very interested in whether my daughter's friends thought he was cute. Though this rang my mommy-alarms somewhat, I didn't actually end the relationship until after he had been arrested for having sex with a minor in another state.
Thank God I'm not still in touch with him. I'm so through with assuming anybody cares for me because I'm so "special."
I AM special, thank you very much. But I can be that without a man's help.

[LizzyTish]

As a youngish (28) single mom of a 4 year old, this is an issue I've considered, of course. But all I need to remind me of how to do right by my family (primarily myself and daughter) is the example of my mother (divorced when I was 5 - NEVER dated) and that of my daughter's paternal grandparents (serial daters who uprooted and traumatized their children with their behavior). The difference between the stability I feel in the world versus the instability my daughter's father feels is palpable.

Things will happen as they may with relationships, but I don't intend to pursue dating until my daughter is considerably more independent (this could be the age of 18! or later!). I consider it part of the decision I made when I chose to have my daughter and raise her as a single parent. To me, parenting is incompatible with dating in the happy hour sense.

There are more fulfilling ways to fill your life than sex, until you find the right person and are sure about them before committing and bringing them too much into your kids' life (or certainly sleeping with them!)

[Rockerbabe]

And many men wonder why women just don't trust them or are not willing to put up with their nonsense. I recently read Men are from Mars... that is definitely true.
I say, Ladies, don't screw the bastard, flirt, lead him on and then leave him to stew in his own juices. The kids are more fun anyway!

[FemWorkingClass]

Been there, done that. The harm to children incalculable.