In response to my appearance on ABC 7's View From the Bay last week, a "name changed to protect the not so very innocent" Facebook pal we'll call Al for the sake of anonymity thanked me for "shedding light on a topic which most men would never think about."
Are you kidding me, Al?
Most men who've had children or are expecting one jump for joy when they see our book, Your Orgasmic Preganancy: Little Sex Secrets Every Hot Mama Should Know. They immediately gush about the fears, myths and pressures surrounding the topic of sex and pregnancy.
As the ultimate outcome of the sexual act, it seems ludicrous to me that you actually believe most men wouldn't even think of this subject! If you've knocked your partner up, it seems to follow that you might be curious about her 'nether' regions during and after the birth of your child.
In fact, Al, there are plenty of sites for men with a strange fetish for pregos. Do a Google search, and I'm sure you'll see that this is certainly not the sort of subject most men would 'never' think of. No, Al, it's on their minds. It's on all of our minds at some point or another, whether or not we opt into becoming breeders ourselves.
The point is, each and every one of us has had a birth experience, and most of us have no clue what goes on between the legs and ears of a pregnant woman and her partner during this metamorphosis. Given that every single one of us arrived via some sort of birth experience, it seems odd to suggest that most men would never think of this.
Most men that we interviewed during the process of writing the book, and most men that I've spoken with since, seem relieved to be able to speak on the matter. Most women, myself included, really want to know what happens to their 'vajayjay' once it's made its delivery.
Why our society relegates the natural to the realm of taboo, while paying no mind to shameless violence on prime time never fails to miff me. Why the notion that pregnancy is a less than attractive state is beyond my comprehension.
A pregnant body is bursting with life and love hormones. Vaso-dilation enables women to become multiply orgasmic and extremely desirous in many cases. A pregnant couple usually has problems fornicating in so far as they've been mislead to believe it's not OK, are afraid to talk about sexual intimacy with doctors, peers or family, and are shamed into believing there's something freakish about wanting to get down during the "family way" phase of their relationships. Barring doctor's orders due to high-risk pregnancy, they are rarely abstaining for any viable reason!!
So, Al, buy our book. Take a look at what pregnant sexuality is and is not, and don't tell me that most men would 'never have thunk it'!!
Follow Danielle Cavallucci on Twitter: www.twitter.com/cavallucci