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Danielle Celena Belton Headshot

Jesus Is My Running Mate!

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I don't know if Abraham Lincoln could have run for president in this environment.

And when I say environment, I mean the pious air of pandering that has been wafting through the air before this campaign season even began.

Although I consider myself a Christian I cringe every time a politician attempts to kiss up to the Christ in me. Saying that Jesus is your running mate does not garner any votes in my demographic of "nerdy black Christians for separation of church and state," and for most of my lifetime Democrats tried to appear more mainstream no matter what their religious beliefs. It was the Republicans who passed around the piety as potential nominees tripped over each other to kiss the ring of theocracy.

But in today's Democratic push to the center (and the constant murmurings of a certain meta Muslim rumor), the donkeys are donning fresh pressed robes to join the celestial chorus of the lowest common denominator, braying "Hallelujah" to the rhubarbs they hope are just misinformed enough to fall for this hog swaller.

The latest exercise in my God's bigger than your God was CNN's latest "faith" based debate held at Messiah College in Pennsylvania on Sunday. Dubbed the "Compassion Forum," Democratic candidates Hillary Clinton and Barack Obama were lobbed heavenly softballs of "what the hell." Moderator Campbell Brown whipped out zingers asking how faith would affect presidential decisions and "Senator, if one of your daughters asked you -- and maybe they already have -- "Daddy, did God really create the world in six days?" What would you say?"

When oh when will that one come up on the commander-in-chief test? Kim Jong Il will be playing Hillary Clinton in a game of baccarat for control of North Korea's nukes and that wily Jong Il will look Clinton in the eye and opine, "So, for all the weapons, riddle me this? Was Mary Magdalene merely a follower of Jesus Christ or was she in fact a common WHORE? Wrong answer and I nuke Tokyo right now!"

And Brown just kept going:

(To Clinton) Let's talk about your faith. And we warned people the questions tonight would be pretty personal. So I want to ask you. You said in an interview last year that you believe in the Father, Son and the Holy Spirit. And you have actually felt the presence of the Holy Spirit on many occasions. Is this for real?

But she was kind enough, of sorts, to toss my cynicism a bone.

Senator, there are a lot of Americans who are uncomfortable with the conversation that we're having here tonight. That they believe religion already has way too much influence in political life and public life. How do you reassure them?

Um ... by NOT participating in this forum?

And if it weren't inane enough there was poor Barack Obama. Crammed between a malicious "secret jihadi" lie and the incendiary sermons of Rev. Jeremiah Wright, the same man Obama used to bolster that "I'm a Christian. Really, I am" defense.

Now he's either "Obama Osama the America Hater" or "Obama the Black Nationalist 'Kill Whitey' Perpetrator."

Has it really come to this? Who are these people who will vote for a politician purely on John the Baptist talk rather some President John Adams action? Oh wait, they voted for George W. Bush after he said Jesus was his favorite philosopher. Never mind!

When will everyone, from the Rev. Al Sharptons to the "God Is Not Great" Christopher Hitchenses of the world let this crap go? None of it is germane to the presidency. Abraham Lincoln, considered by many to be our greatest president as he kept the country together in the midst of a brutal civil war was a deist. Do they even still have those? And if they do, the most certainly could not get elected president. Simply believing there is a creator is not enough. You have to wear the coat of many colors and twirl around in it to screaming "Hosannah in the highest" while you fleece America's voting sheep

There are so many theatrics. So much ass kissing. So much ass coverage. So much bowing and genuflecting and prayer in the public square. And it's all for show. It doesn't tell you whose heart is pure and it doesn't tell you whose is not. And if I didn't think it weren't all a merely mating dance of candidate and voter I wouldn't vote for anyone at all.

Thank God I'm a pragmatist.