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The President's Secret IMs: World Leaders Gone Wild "Cancun Edition"!

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Click here to see the President's "Buddy List"!


AIM chat with LZ0rr0
9:46 p.m.

Kickass43: el dudo!
Kickass43: chill tha odoulls...
Kickass43: & rev tha boogie bords!!
Kickass43: cuz its gna b time 4 wrld leadrs gon wild!
Kickass43: "cancun edishun!"
Kickass43: 8-)
Kickass43: si mi capitan?
Kickass43: uh vinny?
Kickass43: ola???

LZ0rr0: I am here Jorge.
LZ0rr0: Good evening to you.
LZ0rr0: I look forward to a fruitful and productive discussion...
LZ0rr0: between our two countries.
LZ0rr0: Also with our new amigo Esteban...
LZ0rr0: from Canada.
LZ0rr0: Such a history of tolerance...
LZ0rr0: has our chilly neighbor to the north!

Kickass43: wassup witu?
Kickass43: u talkin funny
Kickass43: u pssd off or wat?

LZ0rr0: I have no idea
LZ0rr0: of what you are speaking.
LZ0rr0: I look forward to a fruitful and productive discussion...
LZ0rr0: between our two countries.
LZ0rr0: Also...

Kickass43: dude I comprendoed dat tha 1st time
Kickass43: u sound like sum "lrn 2 speak english" prgrm
Kickass43: "fruitful & pructive discushun"
Kickass43: dats not how buds talk!

LZ0rr0: Perhaps that is because...
LZ0rr0: we are not "buds" as you say.

Kickass43: ?!

LZ0rr0: "Buds" do not build walls between each other.
LZ0rr0: I have long taken issue with your American saying...
LZ0rr0: "Good fences breed good neighbors."
LZ0rr0: In our case they only breed bad feeling.

Kickass43: foxy!
Kickass43: ur so messin wit my hed
Kickass43: have u like evn bin followin tha crap im takin
Kickass43: ovr immigrashun?!

LZ0rr0: It is not as if we are Palestinians.
LZ0rr0: Perhaps then I might have more comprehension...
LZ0rr0: if we were sending over the suicide bombers...
LZ0rr0: and not the pleasant muchachos...
LZ0rr0: to mow your lawns.

Kickass43: dats wat im sayin
Kickass43: im AGENS tha wall
Kickass43: u kno dat
Kickass43: im pushin 2 sho yall
Kickass43: tru blu merickan hospitalty
Kickass43: as r "gests"

LZ0rr0: Forgive me if I suggest...
LZ0rr0: that you have a peculiar way...
LZ0rr0: of expressing your hospitality.
LZ0rr0: No "guest" should ever wash his own dishes...
LZ0rr0: or clean his host's room.
LZ0rr0: But I do not plan to take issue...
LZ0rr0: withwhat you name your visa programs.
LZ0rr0: "Guest worker"is all the same to me...
LZ0rr0: as "Guest Services..."
LZ0rr0: if it's what your people prefer.
LZ0rr0: No, what I take issue with you, Jorge...
LZ0rr0: is what little we have to show of our so-called friendship...
LZ0rr0: after these five years.

Kickass43: how can u say dat?!

LZ0rr0: Very easily.
LZ0rr0: I send you more than 1,000,000 hard workers...
LZ0rr0: every year!
LZ0rr0: And all we hear back about them...
LZ0rr0: are the problems they cause!
LZ0rr0: Is it too much to ask for a simple "gracias"
LZ0rr0: now and then?

Kickass43: not evry1 sees it dat way...

LZ0rr0: No. Of course not.
LZ0rr0: They will see the small spot left on the floor...
LZ0rr0: and not the tidied shelves.

Kickass43: look im doin my best...

LZ0rr0: And now this wall.
LZ0rr0: I do not see you building a wall between the US and Canada.
LZ0rr0: Is that because they are a white country?

Kickass43: no foxy
Kickass43: we aint doin dat cuz a wall...
Kickass43: still wdnt keep tha cold out!
Kickass43: :-)

LZ0rr0: You can be sure I will be seeking support
LZ0rr0: from my new amigo Esteban.
LZ0rr0: He will surely understand that...
LZ0rr0: an open border policy is in our mutual interest.

Kickass43: got newz re ur bud "Esteban"
Kickass43: dats y i IMd u

LZ0rr0: What is this "news"?

Kickass43: gotta 2 giv u tha heds up

LZ0rr0: Tell me Jorge!

Kickass43: o so now we're BFs

LZ0rr0: si si
LZ0rr0: Even the best of friends...
LZ0rr0: will have their differences.

Kickass43: fine
Kickass43: k so heres tha problemo with Esteban:
Kickass43: the dude duznt party
Kickass43: srsly

LZ0rr0: You are serious?

Kickass43: ttlly
Kickass43: dats tha buzz @ state
Kickass43: Duznt. Party.

LZ0rr0: But he is Canadian!

Kickass43: go figr

LZ0rr0: Jorge you must be mistaken.
LZ0rr0: I know these Canadians very well.
LZ0rr0: For three months of every year...
LZ0rr0: they replace the percentage of our population
LZ0rr0: that we have sent to you.
LZ0rr0: They are known among my people as "icebacks."
LZ0rr0: And while they do not work while they are here...
LZ0rr0: (nor tip--I am told it is not in their tradition)
LZ0rr0: they account for fully 17% of all tequila consumption...
LZ0rr0: second only to Texas A&M students on spring break.
LZ0rr0: I find it hard to believe that Estoban...
LZ0rr0: will not maintain his country's reputation...
LZ0rr0: while in Cancun.

Kickass43: trust me bud
Kickass43: wrd is tha dudes a stiff

LZ0rr0: I am most distressed.

Kickass43: face it
Kickass43: cdn ldrs havnt par-tayd since my dad's bf mulroony

LZ0rr0: I had not yet had the honor of being elected President of Mexico.
LZ0rr0: At that time I ruled the Latin American cola market.

Kickass43: well I wuz ther dude
Kickass43: roony & I STILL talk bout how much
Kickass43: we miss drinkin
Kickass43: u shda seen gorby
Kickass43: on tha piano...

LZ0rr0: So what will we do with this stiff Esteban?

Kickass43: shortsheet his bed

LZ0rr0: Always so funny!
LZ0rr0: And our indigenous Mayan peoples...
LZ0rr0: can introduce to him the "bottle" dance...
LZ0rr0: in which one performs lively steps...
LZ0rr0: with a bottle balanced on one's head.
LZ0rr0: In tribute we can make it a "Molson's."

Kickass43: ur tha fox!

LZ0rr0: We still have much to discuss Jorge.

Kickass43: manyana
Kickass43: adios

Kickass43 has left the chat.

(*Post Post-Note to reader "Joshowitz"--screen name corrected, thank you!)