11/01/2005 06:53 am ET | Updated May 25, 2011

The Secret Presidential IMs: Taking a Page From Bill’s Playbook


Ladeezman42: im on
Ladeezman42: u there?
Auto response from kickass43: The President of the United States is not currently online. He is out working hard for the American people.
Ladeezman42: yo home boy
Auto response from kickass43: The President of the United States is not currently online. He is out working hard for the American people.
Ladeezman42: aw man
Ladeezman42: cmon
Ladeezman42: ive gotta date
Kickass43: hey
Kickass43: sry 2 b late
Kickass43: missus wuz raggin me
Ladeezman42: 4 wat
Kickass43: SCOTUS
Kickass43: sez I shudda nominated nudder chick
Kickass43: sez we hav enuff pasta eaters already
Kickass43: she & harry r like boo hoo
Kickass43: setbak for chicks yadda yadda
Ladeezman42: u done enuff 4 chicks already
Ladeezman42: u gotta freakin henhouse ovr there
Kickass43: chicks nvr appreciate anyting u do
Ladeezman42: ur complainin
Ladeezman42: LOL
Ladeezman42: jus wait til laura sez its “her turn”
Kickass43: wont happen
Kickass43: got her sum majr bling 4 r annivrsry
Kickass43: she’ll wear a happy face til 08
Ladeezman42: which is y we gotta talk fast
Ladeezman42: don’t want any “accidents” happenin in 08
Kickass43: ?
Ladeezman42: 1 word: hillary
Kickass43: o yeh
Kickass43: :O
Ladeezman42: my ass is dun if u keep messin up
Ladeezman: I told u last time wat 2 do bout harry
Kickass43: thats finito
Kickass43: didn’t even need 2 do her cat like you sed
Ladeezman42: k so u got lucky
Ladeezman42: harry quit
Ladeezman42: her best legal judgment 2 date
Kickass43: way harsh
Ladeezman42: so how u gonna fix this nu mess
Ladeezman42: & make it quik
Ladeezman42: got a mjr hottie waitin in my lobby
Kickass43: u saw wat im doin
Kickass43: vry :( bout libby
Kickass43: now back 2 work
Kickass43: big job 2 do
Kickass43: blah blah blah
Ladeezman42: that’s IT
Ladeezman42: that’s rlly ALL yr doin????
Kickass43: chill out dude
Kickass43: this is YR playbook
Kickass43: wat else 2 do?
Kickass43: fitz still vestigatin karl
Kickass43: dont wanna piss off fitz
Ladeezman42: (slap 4hed)
Ladeezman42: u guys r so screwd
Kickass43: y
Kickass43: scooterboy didn’t do nuffin
Kickass43: even fitz sed that
Kickass43: he’s takin the bullet 4 lyin bout it
Kickass43: that’s it rite?
Kickass43: end of story
Ladeezman42: no
Ladeezman42: START of story
Ladeezman42: at least I wuz lyin bout a rlly gr8 blo job
Ladeezman42: u guys r lyin bout a rlly lame smear job
Ladeezman42: dude u shudda called dat plame chick a ho flat out
Ladeezman42: rite from the start
Ladeezman42: shake yr hed
Ladeezman42: sed wat do u expct from a crazy ho like dat
Ladeezman42: folks wdve believd it cuz she’s a fox
Ladeezman42: same 4 her ol man
Ladeezman42: call him a liar
Ladeezman42: BONUS POINT: he rlly wuz a liar!
Ladeezman42: an the special prosecutor
Ladeezman42: man u needed 2 take him DOWN
Ladeezman42: smear HIM real good
Ladeezman42: diss the hole vestigashun
Ladeezman42: call it a fishin expedishun
Ladeezman42: say fitz is sum wild dem dawg
Ladeezman42: tryin 2 bring down the presidency
Ladeeman42: in WARTIME yet
Ladeezman42: public hates dat shit
Ladeezman42: they always side w/the prez
Ladeezman42: but noooooo
Ladeezman42: u go & call fitz “fine”
Ladeezman42: call his vestigashun “serious”
Ladeezman42: mayb I shud loan u bruce lindsey
Ladeezman42: yo u still there?
Kickass43: :-!
Ladeezman42: & in the middle of this
Ladeezman42: u go piss off yr base!!!!
Ladeezman42: treatin SCOTUS like it wuz sum gold watch
Ladeezman42: 2 giv 2 yr “employee of the decade”
Ladeezman42: whos tellin u 2 do this shit????
Kickass43: not wonderboy
Ladeezman42: can c that
Ladeezman42: u btter stop callin those toll free lines
Ladeezman42: & pay 4 sum real help
Kickass43: y do u think im talking 2 u
Ladeezman42: rite
Ladeezman42: last thing
Ladezman42: get yrself a nu spokesdude
Kickass43: y
Ladeezman42: scottys gonna wet his pants
Kickass43: :-[
Ladeezman42: g2g
Kickass43: wait
Kickass43: yo bill
Kickass43: come bak
Kickass43: u still there??
Auto response from ladeezman42: Former President of the United States William Jefferson Clinton is not currently online. If you are interested in inviting the President to speak at an upcoming event, please go to for fee information and availability.