The Secret Presidential IMs: Clinton Disappoints His Pupil

Kickass43: hey
Kickass43: dude
Kickass43: wher r u????
Kickass43: ur buddy status sez "available"
Kickass43: i NEED u billyboy
Kickass43: aw cmon
LadeezMan42: dam u gw!
LadeezMan42: i wuz BUSY
LadeezMan42: 4got 2 sign off
LadeezMan42: then hrd all dis pingin from my IM
LadeezMan42: thot it wuz hllry wit anudder 1 of her dam crises
Kickass43: o
Kickass43: u workin L8?
LadeezMan42: uh NO
Kickass43: i woke u up?
LadeezMan42: uh NO
LadeezMan42: no 1 xept u
LadeezMan42: & tha nations 5 yr olds
LadeezMan42: r asleep at 8:47
Kickass43: so can u tok?
LadeezMan42: kinda awkward rite now
LadeezMan42: if u get wat im sayin
Kickass43: PLS
Kickass43: jus 4 a sec????
LadeezMan42: cant it wait evn 1 hr?
LadeezMan42: she'll b gon by then
Kickass43: its dire man
LadeezMan42: (sigh)
LadeezMan42: k
LadeezMan42: gimme a sec
LadeezMan42: brb

LadeezMan42: k im bak
Kickass43: took u long enuff
LadeezMan42: told u i wuz in tha middle of sumpin
LadeezMan42: had 2 finish up
LadeezMan42: this bttr b good gw
Kickass43: no it's BAD
Kickass43: rlly bad
Kickass43: wiretappin stuffs outta control
Kickass43: like feingolds startd bangin tha impeachmnt drums
Kickass43: ud think i wuz nixon
Kickass43: & we're not evn wiretappin u guys!
Kickass43: jus tha frikkin terrorists!!!!
LadeezMan42: not jus tha "terrorists"
LadeezMan42: wat bout amanpour?
Kickass43: ttl bs
Kickass43: sum perv at NSA put a spycam in her showr
Kickass43: we only found out cuz he screamd wen jamie reuben got in
LadeezMan42: u guys r so lame
Ladeezman42: amanpour!!!
Kickass43: like u nvr did it
LadeezMan42: no dude
LadeezMan42: like I put a spycam in LAURIE DHUE's showr
LadeezMan42: at 1 pt we had tha whol fox news dressin room hookd up
LadeezMan42: xept wen hume or kondracke used it
Kickass43: :-P
LadeezMan42: 1 of r techno guyz figrd out an auto-shut off wen any of tha old mastadons came in
LadeezMan42: u don't wanna c o'reilly in his titey witeys
LadeezMan42: not titey
LadeezMan42: not witey
Kickass43: k srsly
LadeezMan42: im srs
Kickass43: bout tha spy stuff
LadeezMan42: its gr8
Kickass43: ?
Kickass43: !
LadeezMan42: i shud say
LadeezMan42: its gr8 4 me
LadeezMan42: jus look
LadeezMan42: feingold's kickin hllrys ass from tha left
LadeezMan42: leiberman's kickin her ass from tha right
LadeezMan42: its perfect!
LadeezMan42: fnlly it looks like shes gonna lose tha nominashun
LadeezMan42: heck evn gore has a run at it now
LadeezMan42: i LUV this spy stuff
Kickass43: :(
LadeezMan42: dont get me rong bud
LadeezMan42: i kno ur hurtin
LadeezMan42: but i havent slept a single nite w/out ambien
LadeezMan42: 4 SIX yrs
Kickass43: so ur not gonna help me
LadeezMan42: ive nvr promisd 2 help u
LadeezMan42: uve got wonderboy 4 dat
LadeezMan42: but u kno i dont mind givin u sum friendly advice
Kickass43: k
Kickass43: prechiate that
Kickass43: SO WHAT THA ^&%#$ DO I DO???
LadeezMan42: well if u dont mind me sayin
LadeezMan42: u effd up real bad
LadeezMan42: breakin a law u rote
LadeezMan42: e.g.
LadeezMan42: its not good 2 b bangin interns in tha oval office
LadeezMan42: wile ur signin sex harrassment lawz
LadeezMan42: jus pisses em off
LadeezMan42: evn ur buddies
LadeezMan42: theyr like wat tha fuck??
Kickass43: hear ya
LadeezMan42: like after 9/11
LadeezMan42: u had a freakin blank slate
LadeezMan42: man u coulda brought back internment camps
LadeezMan42: 4 muslim jaywalkers
LadeezMan42: & the dems & ACLU types wudda nodded
LadeezMan42: "seems reasonable"
LadeezMan42: or faced lynchin by angry bereaved mobs of jp morgan & lehman bros
LadeezMan42: insted u go rite a half-ass law
LadeezMan42: that duznt do tha job
LadeezMan42: & then boom!
LadeezMan42: u break it!
LadeezMan42: lame dude
LadeezMan42: v. lame
Kickass43: tryin 2 do bttr
Kickass43: u c i had all the former SOSs & big defense guns in
Kickass43: that got good press
Kickass43: mcnamara
Kickass43: yr guy perry
Kickass43: eagleburger
LadeezMan42: ha ha
LadeezMan42: he alwys crax me up
Kickass43: ?
LadeezMan42: "wd u like sum fries wit yer eagleburger?"
Kickass43: LOL
Kickass43: u shudda seen haig
Kickass43: i told im:
Kickass43: "Al, I gotta go to the men's room. When I'm not here yur in control, okay?"
Kickass43: he's like aye aye sir
LadeezMan42: no way
Kickass43: way
LadeezMan42: i'm pissin my pants
Kickass43: then thers ur old flame
Kickass43: madeleine albright
LadeezMan42: o man
LadeezMan42: now im rlly feelin ur pain
Kickass43: watta battle axe of evil
Kickass43: man she wdnt shuddup
LadeezMan42: tell me bout it
LadeezMan42: i had 2 keep sendin her places 4 shed drive me crazy
LadeezMan42: dam if no 1 evr took a shot at her
LadeezMan42: not even in n korea!!
Kickass43: o she luuuuuvvvvs n. korea
Kickass43: didnt she boogie 1 time wit kimmy jung il?
LadeezMan42: possible
LadeezMan42: theyr both tha same size
Kickass43: anyway she goes on & on
Kickass43: bout iraq being a "war of choice"
Kickass43: i finally sed
Kickass43: lady if its a "war of choice"
Kickass43: then u shud b 4 it
Kickass43: cuz u ladies r always 4 choice
Kickass43: wen it involvs killin innocent life
LadeezMan42: whoa
LadeezMan42: mjr diss
Kickass43: didnt wrk
Kickass43: next thing she's raggin me bout her good bud kimmy
Kickass43: & like i'm "off the mark" wit n. korea
Kickass43: i tell her no
Kickass43: our missles r pointd rite at it
LadeezMan42: sry u got stuck wit her
LadeezMan42: i wudda chosen holbrooke
LadeezMan42: hllry wdnt let me
Kickass43: kno dat
Kickass43: jus like laura & harriet
Kickass43: boy did the supremes dodge a bullet
Kickass43: they wudda had harry correctin their grammar
Kickass43: & reformattin their opinions
Kickass43: 4 tha rest of their lives
Kickass43: heh heh
LadeezMan42: so wat u doin bout dis abramoff bizness?
Kickass43: keepin approx 9 billion miles away
LadeezMan42: can u?
LadeezMan42: like u didn't have abramoff deliverin u chinese food?
LadeezMan42: nuttin like dat?
Kickass43: uh we're checking it
Kickass43: but I think negativ
Kickass43: & no "coffees" neither
LadeezMan42: ouch
LadeezMan42: way low dude
Kickass43: wat can i say
Kickass43: ur not helpin me bud
LadeezMan42: fine
LadeezMan42: jus remember
LadeezMan42: if abramoff wuz my guy
LadeezMan42: ida got sum big $$
LadeezMan42: sum fine ass
LadeezMan42: sum great golf
LadeezMan42: stayd in sum fab cribs
LadeezMan42: & STILL ben hi in the polls
LadeezMan42: whose tha man now?
Kickass43: hopin i wuz??
LadeezMan42: lets tok aftr ur impeachd
Kickass43: o yes
Kickass43: bout that...

"LadeezMan42 signed off at 9:18:27 PM"

"The Secret Presidential IMs" appears every Tuesday.