IRAQ: HOW TO FIX THE MESS
Posted 8-16-05 3:46:00 PM
By Donald Trump
Chairman, Trump University
It’s like this: It’s a big mess and no one in charge is taking responsibility for it. If you’re going to be a leader, you’ve got to lead. Leading means taking responsibility.
I became such a fabulous success in business because 1) I take responsibility for every deal I enter into and 2) when a crisis erupts I handle it. Sometimes it’s an issue of delegation: The President of the United States--no offense, he’s a nice guy, I’ve met him, and he’s got some good qualities—just doesn’t know how to delegate. Or maybe put it this way: when he does delegate, he delegates to the wrong person. If he were a candidate on my hit show, “The Apprentice”—which, by the way, is the top-rated new series on any network in five years and number one at NBC--next season I can tell you is going to be the best yet but that’s all I’m going to tell you right now--he’d be out in the first round. Condi, she’s a good girl but, I don’t know, something about her tells me she’s just not up to the job. She strikes me as nervous. She’s not going to be able to be more effective until she gets more confidence. In this war, fighting guys like these, you need confidence. Rove was good through the election but lately he’s been letting the team down. It’s not clear he’s going to last through to the final round of this administration. In any case, he’s a national operation sort of guy—you wouldn’t want him running the international division. What about what’s -his-name, Rummy—where’s he? He’s still part of the Red Team, right? He hasn’t been fired yet. He’s a tough guy. Let’s use him.
Now for Iraq. The situation. Basically the way I see it is this: You’ve got a bunch of vicious ethnic groups battling it out for pieces of land. It's like Queens or New Jersey. We’re not dealing with classy people here. In real estate, you learn pretty quickly who are the stand-up guys and who are the ones who’ll try to fit you with a pair of cement shoes. In the business world they call it “ethically challenged.” And these insurgents are seriously ethically challenged. They don’t respect the honest businessman trying to cut a fair deal. I can assure you from my own experience, there’s no negotiating with this sort of person. Bottom line: Know when to walk away.
PARIS HILTON, YOU’RE FIRED
Posted 8-17-05 11:08:00 AM
It’s called over-exposure, people. You have to learn when to step up to the plate and when to step back. Frankly Paris could step up to the plate more often as she’s too skinny for me. She looks anorexic. I hate that. Why is the fashion industry bent on making women look like crickets? No man likes it, I can tell you. My personal rule of thumb is if you can’t grab a handful of a woman’s butt when you’re hugging her, she’s too thin. Period.
Furthermore. Why would the Hilton parents name their daughter Paris? That’s like me calling my daughter Atlantic City.
Let me just say this: Paris, I’m glad you’re getting married to another person called Paris. What are the odds of that? Anyway, it will give you some much needed time away from the tabloids. You’ll come back stronger than ever. Take it from me. After a few kids give me a call. Maybe we’ll do a show together. Meantime I’m sending you some gift certificates to use at any one of the world-class restaurants at the fabulous Trump Taj Mahal casino resort. Our internationally renowned “Safari Steakhouse” was voted “Best Steakhouse”by “Strictly Slots” magazine. I recommend the porterhouse. Paris, do yourself and us a favor and order two of them. Best wishes from the Donald.