THE BLOG
08/22/2012 07:29 pm ET Updated Oct 22, 2012

Dirty Duty: Splitting the Chores, Newlywed Style!

It's official: no one likes doing chores. Some are even afflicted with the rare condition, domesticitis. (We'll talk about that later on). In any new relationship, there is always an exception to the rule, but chores are the most mundane part of being married and believe it or not many couples have huge fights over chores. Before you begin to argue over whose turn it is to do the dishes, take out the trash or scrub the toilets, it's a good idea to make a list and divide the chores in a way that's agreeable to both of you.

One of the biggest deciding factors on who is going to do which chore is who will be home and who will not. Some couples have similar work schedules, but quite often one spouse is working much later than the other, or on days that the other spouse has off. Before you can begin to split up all the household chores, you'll need to set realistic goals. For instance, you can't expect someone to take out the trash every Saturday morning if they work into the wee hours of Friday night. Before you begin negotiating, take both of your work commitments into consideration.

When you start splitting up the chores, volunteer to take everything that you enjoy doing. Do you like cooking or folding laundry? Put everything that you actually enjoy doing on the table. If you both don't mind doing similar things, you can bargain for chores that you dislike doing, like taking out the trash or bathroom duty.

While some couples divide up every chore, others are more fluid in their division. For instance there are many couples where one spouse is in charge of most of the household chores, while the other spouse is in charge of finances, vehicles, and yard maintenance. What works best for you is what's important, and that you both agree on the division of labor.

Remember: if you ever start to have an issue over the chores that you're supposed to be doing, don't get upset or passive-aggressive, actually talk to your spouse about the situation. As in all aspects of marriage, communication is key... bargains and changes can always be made!

If you suddenly discover that you're married to someone affected by the rare condition domesticitis? You know... the refusal to participate in chores of any kind? Depending on the cultural background and the household your spouse grew up in, your best efforts at persuasion might not work. Don't waste your time with an argument. Simply let your spouse know that you'll be taking part of the budget to hire someone who will help out around the house. That will either change the picture entirely or get you the help you need right away!