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Danielle Tumminio

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National Debt, War, Cancer and the Blessing of Laughter

Posted: 08/20/11 05:19 PM ET

It seemed like God was frowning down at me a few weeks ago. It began when doctors performed emergency surgery on a dear friend to remove all of her reproductive organs ... only to then tell her that she had cancer.

Now, this friend and I have a somewhat unique bond: We met in our college Glee Club when we were housed together on a singing tour, and we immediately connected over our raucous laughter. It's debatable who laughs louder -- mine is a bizarre giggly-cackle while hers is more of a full-bodied chuckle. But regardless of who wins the Grammy for Best Guffaw, we discovered our connection one evening -- at a reasonable hour, of course -- with a knock on the door and this announcement:

"Um, we can hear you laughing down the hall," the tour organizer said, as she tilted her head and popped her gum a little too loudly.

That was almost ten years ago. Since then, we have chortled in six countries, ten states, two continents, and countless cities. We have laughed over dates gone wrong and embarrassing workplace fumbles, bad haircuts and bad hair dyes and a bad muffler that caused us to spend a day stuck at a Bronx gas station with a gay gas attendant and a CEO who watched Ricki Lake and passed colorful judgment on people who had intimate relations with their relatives.

Yes, we've laughed a lot.

But last week, I found myself trying to laugh with my friend in a very different setting -- at the Dana Farber Cancer Center in Boston as she began chemotherapy. Suddenly, she couldn't have children, she had no control over her body's reaction to this intense medicine, and mortality became a more sensitive conversation topic than it had been in our glee-filled Glee Club years.

No, there wasn't much to laugh about.

Realistically speaking, my friend and I aren't the only ones with little to laugh about. Our country's -- nay, our world's -- economic and political news did much to put a frown on all of our faces recently. Consider some of the things weighing down our hearts, minds, and smiles:

1. As a nation, we have a lot of debt.

2. Because of said debt, Standard and Poor's lowered our credit rating, which was like a first grade teacher taking away the coveted gold star and putting the U-S-of-A into the corner with a dunce cap. (Aside: Isn't it ironic that credit is determined by an agency called Standard and Poor's? I wouldn't want my credit to be either standard or poor.)

2. We're involved in a lot of wars.

3. The wars are expensive (see #1).

4. People die in wars.

5. Statistically, about one in ten of our friends are unemployed.

6. Our homes aren't worth as much as they were five years ago, and if we rent, our rent is worth too much.

7. Healthcare is expensive (see #1).

8. Republicans and Democrats can't seem to learn the lesson that "Sesame Street" teaches to four-year olds daily: Cooperate (see all of the above).

Not so easy to find a good laugh in that list, is it?

And yet, in the past few weeks, I have become even more firmly convinced that sometimes laughter is the greatest blessing we have in stressful times. And from a Christian perspective, perhaps God wants us to laugh in those moments when pain seems to be the only thing we feel. After all, the author of Proverbs says that a good wife is one who "is clothed with strength and dignity; she can laugh at the days to come" no matter how traumatic they are.

From a Christian perspective, then, there is something healing in the laughter we share with those we love -- with our soul mates, our mentors, our families, and our friends -- that cannot be measured by a doctor or scientist. It's not the kind of healing that ends wars or cures cancer, but it's transformative nonetheless.

Consider whether our nation would be sporting a frown if, for one minute a day, elected officials and newscasters and underpaid teachers and overtaxed parents and cancer patients laughed.

Just consider that.

It could turn "God bless America" into God blessed America.

Last Friday at Dana Farber, my friend said that she was worried about her hair falling out. "I know it's materialistic," she said. "I know it'll grow back. But it's one more thing I can't control, and I kind of feel like maybe I should just shave it all off, you know, so at least I can control something."

"Do you want me to shave it off with you?" I said. "Then you can go as Britney Spears in meltdown mode for Halloween and I'll go as Sinead O'Connor."

She began laughing so hard that she had to raise a hand to cover her mouth, which made the IV machine start to beep.

"That's awesome, but you don't have to do that," she said, talking over the interrupting IV.

"Well, the offer stands ... although I reserve the right to go as Brit Brit instead. That way I could test out my personal alternative to the priesthood: troubled rock star."

As she laughed harder, the IV machine increased in volume, a kind of medical musical accompaniment to our giggles. When a nurse came in to adjust it, she looked us both over and said, "So nice to hear some laughter in here." Then she adjusted the machine, smiled at us, and left.

So, did laughter cure my friend's cancer? No. Does it mean that her heart -- and the hearts of those who love her -- won't feel like they're breaking over the next few months? No, it doesn't.

But I will say that in that one moment, it was a blessing. And I believe that God was laughing beside us.

 
 
 

Follow Danielle Tumminio on Twitter: www.twitter.com/revdtumminio

It seemed like God was frowning down at me a few weeks ago. It began when doctors performed emergency surgery on a dear friend to remove all of her reproductive organs ... only to then tell her that ...
It seemed like God was frowning down at me a few weeks ago. It began when doctors performed emergency surgery on a dear friend to remove all of her reproductive organs ... only to then tell her that ...
 
 
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farmilyman
everything is illusion
04:18 AM on 08/21/2011
Religion is hilarious.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Cindbird
Using my head for something other than a hat rack.
01:43 AM on 08/21/2011
I too have sat in chemo rooms, watching poison drip into my best friend's arm and hoping the poison kills the cancer and not her. I know the helpless you feel as you sit holding a loved one's hand as they hope the chemo kills the cancer quick. And I know what it's like to find a reason, ANY reason, to laugh. And watching my best friend, my sister through love, light up. I watched as the laughter helped ease the pain, and open her and others to life again. Your friend is lucky to have such a friend as you. You are lucky to have such a friend as her. My friend is now 5 years free of breast cancer. And we laughed our way through it. I wish you and her, healing, love, strength and many, many days of laughter.
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iLdoRight
Encouraging The Rightest Rightness
01:35 AM on 08/21/2011
"Blessed are ye that weep now" Luke 6:21, Was Jesus right? Why still appropriate today? There is very serious work to be done pointing out the differences between "true" Christianity and the kind of "Christianity" that has people who do all sorts of things that Our Creator has expressed His displeasure over. "Woe unto you that laugh now", Luke 6:25. Most all have heard of religious leaders molesting children, but even something like not respecting Our Creator's desires when it is so easy to do and spending money to go against what He wants when it would be easier not do do anything. What? God expressed His dislike for images in "His Religious Realm", so what do many religious people do? God used Moses at Deuteronomy 8:3 to say "by every Word that proceeds from God" and Jesus affirmed the same at Matthew 4:4, so what could people who want Our Creator's approval do? It would be my guess that the whole Bible could be produced on DVD for 20 cents apiece, I have purchased blank DVDs for 15 cents each. I know one large cross dollar expense could have produced a lot of Bible DVDs, but why do what God wants? Laughing occasionally can be good for you I save good clean funny clips I see on TV and watch them again every so often, but most of the time I have the right serious attitude about the right things, ones that are important to Our Creator.
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ProudLib123
12:40 AM on 08/21/2011
"Ain't a damn thing funny in this land of Milk & Honey....It's like a jungle sometimes it makes you wonder how you keep from going under."
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java33
I orchestrate my mornings to the tune of coffee
12:11 AM on 08/21/2011
One more good reason for me to watch Jon Stewart Daily Show!
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methodman
10:42 PM on 08/20/2011
Awesome Possum Protest Ant Jeebus. This is what makes mi a Christian. Gawd loves it when everything gets handled with a glib, shallow reaction. That is the HEART AND SOUL of Christ. Jesus Christ is not about my being compassionate. Neither is Jesus about spirituality, Neither is Jesus Christ about any journey to a deeper sense of integration. Jesus is about comfort and laughter. Feeling light and happy talk and keeping a smile and being polite about every situation. Even when I get treated unfairly. I must conform, vote republican and never expect benefits for anything. Jesus is giving and allowing Love to Hurt Me and smiling through the whole ordeal.
11:31 PM on 08/20/2011
Pickin' up on your sarcasm there. Except that isn't what the author is saying. You don't qualify for the bonus round, but hey... thanks for playing!
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Cindbird
Using my head for something other than a hat rack.
01:30 AM on 08/21/2011
Just so you know, laughter releases endorphins. The endorphins actually reduce pain and allow a cancer patient a bit of a respite. I've sat in chemo rooms with my best friend and we always found a way to laugh at something. And she's now 5 years cancer free. So you can take the sarcasm and stop acting like a fool.
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Dredd
Our government is a wartocracy.
10:22 PM on 08/20/2011
The laughter microbes have not fully been understood or implemented yet. But if they compete well they may outdo the tumor microbes.

http://blogdredd.blogspot.com/2011/08/undiscovered-side-of-science-life-3.html
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10:20 PM on 08/20/2011
Danielle Tumminio,

good article :3 Deity has a wonderful sense of humour. The Greeks used to say that you could recognize the Deities by their incredible hilaritas :3
10:15 PM on 08/20/2011
Thank you for sharing this, Danielle. Laughter is indeed a blessing in moments like that.
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phal4875
The world is run by cats; we just feed them.
09:34 PM on 08/20/2011
Your friend has a true friend. You are both fortunate. I wish her well.
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OtayPanky
You're welcome
09:30 PM on 08/20/2011
Blogger: And from a Christian perspective, perhaps God wants us to laugh in those moments when pain seems to be the only thing we feel.

---

That's my favorite part of the Gospel story - when Jesus is hanging on the cross, and just loses it in a fit of giggling.

FNORD!
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10:21 PM on 08/20/2011
AWE-SOME! :3

My retelling of the gospel story included Christ on the Cross saying "LINE!"
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OtayPanky
You're welcome
05:34 PM on 08/21/2011
You get a big, purple FNORD! for that one, too.
08:44 PM on 08/20/2011
Making me laugh is like making me laugh is like making me laugh. No one wins and everyone gets herpes.
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drleebrew
Humanity deserves the care of every human.
08:24 PM on 08/20/2011
Laughter is one of the great blessings of life. At times it is the only thing we have left in times of inexplicable trials. It is something we need to give as a gift to each other much more often.
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see-ellen2001
07:54 PM on 08/20/2011
People often comment on my good sense of humour. I tell them it is the only thing that kept me sane :) Laughter can be so therapeutic. When we are walking thru the fire, laughter is the balm that soothes the burns.
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hohonu maluhia
Live aloha
06:20 PM on 08/20/2011
Please tell your friend I send strength to her. She is lucky to have you as a friend.
I recently lost my father to Alzheimer's disease. He was a happy Alzheimer's patient and kept us all laughing. Shortly before he died, he reminded me that it's easy to focus on the things we don't have and can't do anymore but we tend to forget all of our blessings, the ability to laugh being one.
My mother was diagnosed in 2000 with stage IV ovarian cancer - a horrible prognosis. She fought valiantly, with humor about her "haircuts" often wearing outlandish wigs as a joke. I went to pick her up from the "infusion lounge" one day and heard hysterically laughter/crying. I walked in and everyone was in tears. Apparently my mom had told the funniest joke to a "newbie" ( a new chemo patient). The night before she died, I asked her what she loved more, me or morphine. She looked at me and said,"I've loved you for 51 years but right now I'd have to pick morphine." Her humor kept her alive, inspired those around her, and reminds me that if she could laugh in the face of her struggles, we can all find something to laugh about. Laugh hard, laugh loud, it's contagious and won't only benefit you and your friend, but also those who see her laughter overpower her struggle. With aloha.
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hohonu maluhia
Live aloha
11:42 PM on 08/20/2011
I forgot to mention that my mom just died in March 2011 - 11 years after her dire diagnosis. Chemo worked, but was on and off. Mom's humor was always on and, I believe, helped her far outlive her dismal life expectancy at time of diagnosis. 11 years of hearing a dying person laugh is a gift that no one can ever forget. I only hope that I can share it with others in mom's honor.
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ProudLib123
12:43 AM on 08/21/2011
Beautiful story. Thanks for sharing.
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Jahnabi Barooah
Assistant Editor, Religion
12:47 AM on 08/21/2011
I am sorry to hear that about your mom's death, and thank you for sharing your story!
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Danielle Tumminio
03:44 PM on 08/21/2011
Aw, thank you so much! I will!