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Danny Groner

Danny Groner

Posted: October 10, 2010 03:42 PM

Several weeks after Rutgers University student Tyler Clementi's tragic suicide, people are still debating the takeaway from the terrible story. College students around the country are writing about Clementi in their campus newspapers, expressing their takes on the lessons their campuses should learn. Rutgers' own Daily Targum chimed in this week with a controversial editorial that essentially blamed the media for making too much of the Clementi story instead of letting the campus mourn him in a more private fashion. The editors write:

The focal point of Clementi's tragic death should have been a boy's inability to deal with the hardships of life. And yet the news and certain organizations picked this up and carried it into the ranks of general causes for major social groups - for their profit...It is disappointing that everyone from news to celebrities picked up the story. Actress Brittany Snow and actor Neil Patrick-Harris are just two of the many celebrities belittling Clementi's death - forcing his remembrance into a cause rather than a proper mourning.

The editors believe that it's better to "mourn for Clementi, and just for him, rather than using him as a martyr for a cause that has yet to be proven." But Towleroad's Andrew Belonsky maintains that "activists and media would have acted irresponsibly had we let Clementi's death be turned into a footnote, rather than a rally for change." Moving beyond just the opinion of this one op-ed, campuses around the country are debating how Clementi's story affects their communities. Here, a sampling:

Get rid of "homophobic laws": "These teenagers are not merely victims of a few bullies from their school but victims of a political environment polluted by hazardous, hateful, and homophobic rhetoric," says Ryan M. Rossner in the Harvard Crimson. We need a broad, sweeping change because "homophobic laws and lack of proper legal protections send a message to the bullies and bullied of America that being gay is still not ok." Creating a "more tolerant and welcoming climate for all students" would be true "climate change."

Don't blame the internet for Clementi's death: "It's time for 'Generation Me' to take some responsibility," says an editorial in the Arizona Daily Wildcat. These "bullycide" stories reflect that "we let ourselves get jaded and bored, and meanness crept in to take the place of passion and interest." Let's remember that even in an age of BlackBerries, "If you hurt someone with your words or actions, intentionally or otherwise, it's on you."

We can prevent the next tragedy: We must accept that "there are daily acts of hate, bias and discrimination in lesbian, gay, bisexual, queer and transgender communities that go unnoticed or unreported," says Terri Phoenix in the University of North Carolina Daily Tar Heel. It's time to "commit to end this bigotry, shame, and harassment." This way, Clementi's death will pave the way for "more just, inclusive, welcoming and equitable campuses, communities and world."

 
 
 
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05:16 PM on 10/16/2010
The AZ Daily Wildcat is on the right path - just because you say it in written form (or you participate) from behind a computer screen, iphone or blackberry - they are still your words and you have responsibility for them and the consequences that follow.
08:57 AM on 10/14/2010
I think we really need to know more before passing judgement. We don't know how much detail Tyler told his RA. We don't know who else he spoke with. The emails do not reveal the despair he may have experienced. Who did Tyler turn to in his dire hour of need other than his RA and a gay website? We don't know. We don't know with whom he was openly gay. We shouldn't rush to fit this tragedy into a convenient template for the media.
I'm doubtful that anti-hate laws are all that effective. In their of heart of hearts, if people hate you, laws won't stop them. I say to say it, but hatred among human beings has existed for thousands of years, and for many reasons; not just sexual orientation. The Jews were hated in the Middle East before and after the founding of Israel. Universities vote on divesting their pension funds from that country, and celebrities cancel plans to visit when Israel defends itself.
Another point I hate to say, is that members of vulnerable groups need to develop thick skin to survive.
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bryanzth
Honest to Goodness USA Patriot!
08:00 PM on 10/11/2010
Danny,

What just occurred to me is the fate of another person, the kid that Tyler was with. I don't want to know who he is, but who is helping him? And shouldn't we be thinking about him, too, even more so!

BZ.
08:23 AM on 10/11/2010
Speaking of Rutgers they are really out to sweep Tyler under the rug as quickly as possible.
Tyler spoke to the RA on Tues Sept 21 in the evening..according to Tyler's posts all the RA told him was to "write and email him a written paragraph about exactly what happened"..keep in mind this is right after Tyler just told him everything in person..why didnt the RA or Rutgers get him into another room right away?..its sad when a University like Rutgers responds so shamefully to a crime that has been committed on one of their students..immediate action should have been taken...most reports I read only quote the section of the post where tyler says the "RA seemed to take it seriously"..they never go into saying what the RA told Tyler to do about this crime..also have these 2 kids even been officially expelled yet by Rutgers?

A Call for More Charges in the Clementi Case

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tRfHlU4Ci88
10:53 AM on 10/11/2010
You're right, and why did Tyler say the RA "SEEMED to take it seriously"? "Seemed" implies doubt. Seems to me he should have been able to say "The RA took it seriously." I would certainly like to know exactly what the RA said to him. Probably something like the Rutgers student paper is saying, like "Well, those are the harships of life. Deal with them."
01:44 AM on 10/11/2010
One would think that students attend college to learn to expand their minds and to be open to learning -- including learning to respect the rights of fellow students. How tragic that this talented young man was driven to commit suicide by the cruelty and narrow-mindedness of two people whose self-centered view of life could not allow them to, at the very least, recognize that they were violating the privacy of another person. Needless to say, they are totally devoid of any ability to feel empathy for another human being. How horribly sad that Tyler Clementi, a young person with such ability and such insight into his own feelings -- and, thus, to the feelings of other people -- should become the victim of those who cannot even imagine what it is to feel compassion.
12:01 AM on 10/11/2010
No one on any of these periodicals/papers/magazines/blogs knows all the facts. I am intensely curious about the man he was with the two nights in his dorm. He would be the one I would be interested in speaking with. He would be the last person who may have some clue as to why this young man committed suicide. It is kind of sickening that the gay rights movement seeks to make a martyr of this poor kid. I don't believe for minute that changing laws about discrimination will change peoples attitudes towards those who are glbt. It will serve as some protection but there will always be more heterosexuals who harbor a deep dark prejudice to glbt. The proof is in the pudding. The civil rights movement offers some protection to minorities but it has not eradicated racism some 40 years later.
11:30 PM on 10/10/2010
There is something fishy going on at Rutgers. The prosecutor was forced to subpoena records of the communications between Tyler and the RA and the two "higher ups" that he mentioned, because Rutgers was "not fully cooperating" with the investigation. It looks as if the response Tyler got from the RA was not encouraging, because he committed suicide just two or three hours after asking them for help. I believe that Rutgers feels some responsibility for what happened, and that the student newspaper is being pressured to minimize the issue and focus on Tyler's "inability to deal with the hardships of life."
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bob5148
07:52 PM on 10/10/2010
Sounds like a purely Republican editorial staff at Rutgers. Isn't it always easy for the living and the accepted to be so judgemental when a loss is shared with the world to erradicate injustice for all. Go check your stock portfolios you Glenn Beck Wannabees
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bryanzth
Honest to Goodness USA Patriot!
08:08 PM on 10/11/2010
While this is not the time to point fingers, I sneakily suspect you are right. Well, let's hope not.

But if so, a big apology is called for.

BZ.
07:02 PM on 10/10/2010
Blame the media not the robbers of life is pure gall. Never mind that a young man was robbed of his life. Never mind that the robbers, creators of "harsh realities," will had a long life filled with giggling remembrances. The never mind what we thinks, our privacy is more important than demanding justice, justice not in words, but in action.
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HUFFPOST SUPER USER
Jdaddy1951
06:49 PM on 10/10/2010
Rutgers' Daily Targum doesn't get it. Tyler Clementi's death is a wakeup call to the world. Maybe Rutgers is too close to the situation, but its call for the rest of the world to back off was way off the mark. A colossal FAIL to the editorial writer.

The Harvard Crimson is dead on because as long as we have laws that single out gay Americans as second class citizens, bullies will assume they have the right to commit hate crimes against them, as Dharun Ravi and Molly Wei did against Tyler Clementi and that gang of homophobes in New York City did against "La Reina" and two others this past week.

The Arizona Wildcat hints at another issue --- people becoming "jaded and bored" and thus insensitive to others because of internet usage. I think that's what happened with Ravi and Wei --- they were so involved in their Internet lives that they lost sight that they were dealing with a real person when they outed Tyler Clementio.

I applaud the University of North Carolina's Daily Tar Heel for acknowledging there are "lesser" --- but still harmful --- acts of bullying and homophobia that occur every day against gay people. This goes back to the national attitude which is fed by homophobic laws that keep gay people as second class citizens.
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frank day
Republican = FAIL
06:11 PM on 10/10/2010
Rutgers should sanction the writer of that article.
The students responsible should be gone.
There is no room for h8tred of any kind in a civil society.
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jonthebru
Li 'dat!
04:53 PM on 10/10/2010
What about the students who thought it was funny to use the video as a prank. Where the helk do they get off?
They obviously had no moral compass that flagged this as a very private situation that should be left alone. They better not get off scot-free.
thebigbike
ran away to be a cowboy
04:51 PM on 10/10/2010
The rutgers paper editorial is so incredibly self centered so solipsistic, so just plain wrong, so "oh poor us people are, like, looking at us and maybe thinking something isn't right and that , like, hurts my feelings, just cuz that stupid boy had to go ahead and put it on facebook"
wow, you wonder how this whole tragedy could have happened at rutgers with that kind of attitude on display?
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Bob Kellerman
Let's have more sanity toward each other
04:15 PM on 10/10/2010
As for the Rutgers editorial -- HELL, NO!!!

Maybe I can't go into Tyler's head and see what he would have wanted, but how could he NOT have wanted the hate to stop? How could he have not wanted other kids to live? etc