Dear Instagram,

While reading your new terms of use, I wondered a few things.

When you say that Instagram "does not claim ownership of any Content," were you hoping I'd be easily satisfied and stop reading right then and there? Did you think I would miss the next sentence, which...

There's an excellent fable I just made up about a swan and her baby swans. The swan loves her baby swans very much and protects them from all bad things, like climate change, mercury poisoning and the unctuous worm. But this worm isn't your everyday unctuous worm: It's a magical...

While I was losing sleep over the impending release of the AP test scores, I devised an evil plot to shift the curves in my favor. It's a complicated scheme that requires time and genius and money and fraud. Unfortunately, I can handle only three of those things, and so...

Last week my two journalism class advisers gave us a comma test. It was quick -- only six sentences -- and the directions were simple: Add commas in the right places. I got working, and I plowed through the first five without any problem or hesitation.

But then, you guessed...

For such a creative people, we Jews did a crummy job with our Christmas competitor. Sure, the origination of Hanukkah -- or however you choose to transliterate it -- predates that of Christmas. But even though we technically got the worm, we need to ask ourselves this: who has a...

A few days ago I was dragged to a drug store (the legal kind). My mom and sister needed some toiletries, and, after tamping down my frustration of being diverted from my highly rigorous studies and Facebook, I remembered that I too needed an item from the store: toothpaste.

Wandering...

In elementary school I had an infamous P.E. coach.

He had been teaching there for longer than anyone could remember, and his reputation was certainly mixed. It included impassioned preaching about morals and religion, a harsh rivalry with a former principal whom he called The Big Cheese, and a likely-exaggerated...