For such a creative people, we Jews did a crummy job with our Christmas competitor. Sure, the origination of Hanukkah -- or however you choose to transliterate it -- predates that of Christmas. But even though we technically got the worm, we need to ask ourselves this: who has a repertoire of jolly carols, fresh-baked cookies, and brilliant trees, and who has gefilte fish? When I think of Hanukkah, I think of blue and white and unscented candles. (Not to mention my very wonderful and generous relatives. Hi grandma!)
Hanukkah spirit, a concept that almost sounds oxymoronic, is about as strong as the scent of matzah, which is sad, partially because Jews wrote all the best Christmas songs. Did they forget that we too have a wintery holiday?
What makes it even worse is that winter and its traits have become synonymous with Christmas, leaving Hanukkah in the soot. According to the calendar, Hanukkah occupies a quarter of the month, but according to the street decorations and radio stations, Christmas Day swallows it whole.
As a reasonable Jewish person, I propose that we squeeze our eyes tightly and tear the Band-Aids from our hairy arms by coming to terms with the fact that, like secular Christmas (i.e. the one with elves), Hanukkah is probably a made-up holiday, no matter how painful this admission may be. And once we accept it, we can start to embrace the music of the season.
Granted, I'm just a cultural Jew, as my dad calls it, and as my mom cringes upon hearing. Conceivably, if I were more devout and spent time to wholly and holily understand the religious significance of Hanukkah -- beyond the magical tale of the oil's under-estimated longevity -- I would have more respect for the eight crazy nights.
But in light of Christmas spirit, I say we put aside our differences and compromise over a cup of cheer. Let's kibitz by the fire; let's bake rugelach for Santa; and let's light unscented candles on a 12-branched candelabrum.
The fact of the matter is that Hanukkah's lonely upper hand over Christmas is the latke, which I can order from any Jewish deli on any day of the year, except maybe Yom Kippur. I would love nothing more than for us to polish our equally hollow and relatively dull tradition for the sake of our posterity's winters (and by "posterity," I mean me). I implore a major Jewish organization (Jewish Journal? New York City? Annenbergs?) to plow the road to Santa Claus Lane. I wouldn't even mind calling him Abba Claus.
But until this happens, until there is substantial reason for me to turn to the blue side, I'll be over there, rocking around the Christmas tree.
Due to some fiction called the “war on Christmas”, many Christians seem to take offense at not being wished “Merry Christmas:” in public. This fiction of course is a blatant attempt to inject the Christian religion into the holiday season and shove it down everyone's throats. Sadly, this childish insistence maybe be one reason some non-Christians refuse to join the celebrating.
I myself prefer to say “enjoy the holidays”, unless in church where I have noticed for many years now that no one - no one - ever wishes “Merry Christmas” except in response to my own greeting.
Want to observe the real “war on Christmas” close and upfront? Venture out into what I call the “Christmas asteroid belt.” If you've ever gone shopping on a weekend during the holidays, you get my drift. If there's anything to be grateful for during this season, it's returning home safely after a foray into the mall. Every year, it seems, a few never return.
I'm particularly fond of holiday invitations – gathering together with friends and relatives. Occasionally these visits will produce a “religious experience.” Not to worry though. I am always the designated passenger.
Enjoy the holidays - everyone.
American tradition permits and encourages religious pluralism that seeks respect for all. Not a stripping of the religiosity in order for all to celebrate.
My relatives mixed it up. Called it a Hanukkah Bush and loved the turkey. Meanwhile my goyim Grandpa made the best latkes ever...
Wait, are you kidding? There's nothing like those latkes! I'd give a lot to have Grandpa and the latkes again.
(figured I could plant it outside after the holidays are over)...
So...Happy Hannukah, Merry Christmas and Happy Kwanza! Or just Happy Day and Peace and Love.
The really fun Jewish holiday is Purim. It doesn't get publicity, but let's look at what you do on Purim:
1) Get dressed up in costumes: It's like we have our own little Halloween.
2) Give gifts: Chanukah is supposed to be for gelt and Purim is the real gift-giving holiday.
3) Eat sweets: Hamantashen are great. And they're flexible so if you don't like one kind of filling, use another.
4) Get drunk: Yes, religiously mandated drinking. In Judaism, wine represents happiness. Since Purim celebrates a Jewish massacre being stopped before it started, we're supposed to be *really* happy. The exact law is that you're supposed to be so drunk that you "can't tell the difference between blessed is Mordechai and cursed is Haman."
Here is what actually occurred, written by the Jewish historian Flavius Josephus:
In 200 BC, the Greek King Antiokhos III the Great who ruled much of the Middle East (as far as Afghanistan) defeated another Greek King Ptolemaios V Epiphanes of Egypt (Battle of Panium). Judea then became part of the Seleukid Empire. Antiokhos III the Great, to conciliate his new Jewish subjects, guaranteed their right to "live according to their ancestral customs" and to continue to practice their religion in the Temple of Jerusalem. His son, Antiokhos IV Epiphanes in 175 BC, invaded Judea, ostensibly at the request of the sons of Tobias (Josephus, Jewish War i.31).
The Tobiads, leaders of the Hellenizing Jewish faction in Jerusalem, were expelled to Syria around 170 BC when the high priest Onias and his pro-Egyptian faction gained control and there lobbied Antiokhos IV to recapture Jerusalem. Quoting Josephus (Jewish War i.32): "The king, disposed beforehand, complied with them, and came on the Jews with a great army, and took their city by force, and slew a great multitude of those that favored Ptolemy, and sent out his soldiers to plunder them without mercy. He spoiled the temple, and stopped the practice of offering a daily sacrifice of expiation for three years and six months."
(To be continued)
You should come over to our house & celebrate Chanukah in the groovy way we do. Candlelighting, tons of singing, great foods, amazing storytelling, poetry, dreidel gambling, dark chocolate gelt, & More !
You're missing it all !