In an unprecedented moment in history, Governor Sarah Palin was sworn in today by the far right wing of the Republican Party as the first female President of The Real America.
In a ceremony filmed by 24 creator Joel Surnow, Palin raised her right hand and placed her left on a Bible once owned by Mary, Queen of Scots. She then repeated the following oath as read to her by Dr. James Dobson:
"I, Sarah Palin, do solemnly betcha that I will faithfully execute the office of President of The Real America, and will to the best of my ability preserve, protect and defend this great nation from the illegitimate, media-anointed monarch of the lower 48."
"This is a day of hope for us and all those like us," Vice President Karl Rove said after he himself was sworn in. "It assures us that while the rest of the country may have been led off course by the promise of truth and transparency, the reality that we have created for ourselves here shall live on."
"On this day, lots of people in the lower 48 are feeling a great sense of national pride in their nation there", Palin said in her inaugural address outside her home in Wasilla, Alaska. "But they'll never be as proud of their country as we are of ours."
The crowd of 4000 supporters shouted, "kill him!"
A portrait of Palin will hang in the Real America presidential gallery alongside previous presidents such as Strom Thurmond, Oliver North and George W. Bush.