Indiana Rep. Bob Morris took some time out of his schedule this week to write a letter to his sate legislature about a group of “feminists, lesbians, [and] Communists” who are endangering the moral compasses of children nationwide. Their name? The Girl Scouts of America. Their crime? Using informational pamphlets from Planned Parenthood as part of teaching sex ed.
After Eric Bolling railed against "The Muppets" movie for demonizing the rich, Fox Business is once again warning America about G-rated movies indoctrinating our children. This time, it's Lou Dobbs vs. Dr. Seuss' "The Lorax" which he claims advocates green energy policies, disses the 1% and will create a generation of "Occu-toddlers." Using Dobbs' logic, we're surprised today's adults who grew up on Disney movies aren't all sex-crazed Mermaids who run lion preserves now.
Watch the last GOP debate? No? Don't worry, nobody else did, either. But if you watched, you saw Newt Gingrich claim that Obama's vote to protect doctors who performed abortions was tantamount to "infanticide." Come on, Newt. If Obama wanted to personally kill infants, he would do it in a ritualistic sacrifice, per his ancient mysterious voodoo practices.
Chris Brown has put himself in a PR firestorm again this week after reportedly stealing a fan’s cell phone. Christal Spann, 24, spotted Brown and the rapper Tyga getting into a car outside of a Miami club and snapped a picture of the pair on her iPhone. Brown then snatched the phone out of the woman’s hand, said, “"B****, you ain’t going to put that on no website," and drove away. Because why accept the nature of your chosen career when you can be constantly (and unapologetically) hostile, violent and criminally negligent?
Republicans: when will they make up their minds? Everything they do or say seems to be in favor of the 1%, until one of the richest men in America, Warren Buffett, has the audacity to support higher tax rates for the rich. Then, as New Jersey governor and full-time "before" model Chris Christie said, they should "just write a check and shut up." Incidentally, "write a check and shut up" is the most polite thing Christie's said all year.
Rejoice! Sacha Baron Cohen will be allowed to dress up in a costume to promote his next movie on the Oscars red carpet after an intense PR standoff with the old, crotchety Academy that nobody cared about! Now, we'll all remember where we were when we first started hearing a new batch of foreign-sounding catchphrases repeated ad nauseum for "Borat II: He'll Probably Show His Balls Or Something This Time."
Rep. Allen West (R-FL) is very upset at President Obama because it costs him $70 to fill up the gas tank of his 2008 H3 Hummer. Now, don't jump to conclusions. What he didn't mention is that he's only driving his Hummer because his other vehicle, a jet cruiser duct taped to a Hummer limo filled with barrels of pure petroleum, was even more cost prohibitive.
A Madrid woman was sued for wearing a T-shirt that said "My ex-husband's an asshole," and the court ordered that she pay her ex 1,000 euros for harming his dignity. This is the craziest story we've heard since we found out that those guys on the beach actually were not certified Boob Inspectors.
The National Enquirer isn't exactly known for its strong moral fiber, but running an ill-begotten cover photo of Whitney Houston in her coffin? That shocked even "Bat Boy" lovers, we're sure. Twitter blew up with outraged comments upon the cover's release, but it's still unclear who took (and sold) the private image from her wake. If a picture is worth a thousand words, in this case we can safely say that all 1,000 of them are "Ugh."