Be an Ex-President Without Being President First!

Former presidents sure do well! Bill Clinton and George W. Bush reportedly raked in $150,000 apiece for their recent joint appearance in Canada. Earlier this year, Bush reportedly got $7 million for a memoir Tolstoy might have titled War and War.

All this money for ex-leaders of the free world -- er, paid world -- could make the average person jealous. But, then again, many Americans wouldn't want to spend eight years in the White House supporting the rich (as Republican presidents do) or supporting the rich (as Democratic presidents do) before cash-in time.

So the goal, I believe, is to become an ex-president without being president first. But how to accomplish that?

Actually, it shouldn't be too hard. Look at the way Bush used his bully pulpit and most of the mainstream media to "sell" a fake connection between Iraq and 9/11. Surely, a person could use those same tools to convince Americans of a REAL connection between not being president and becoming an ex-president.

There's also the Star Trek solution of changing the time-space continuum, but I'm hesitant to recommend that because of the damage it might do to the Obamas' new White House vegetable garden.

What about using mass hypnosis? "You are getting sleepy ... verrry sleepy." Oops, that might describe the state of Huffington Post visitors reading this piece. But if enough Americans do 40% of the Rip Van Winkle thing, they'll snooze right through two White House terms and not realize that someone claiming to be an ex-president never was president.

Come to think of it, Bush might be in that never-was-president category. Don't forget the GOP shenanigans in Florida followed by that Supreme Court decision (2000), and more GOP shenanigans in Ohio (2004). If you didn't hear much about those things, well, most of the mainstream media prefers to cover possible election fraud in Iran and other countries with which the U.S. doesn't have close relations. That approach must be working for newspapers, because readership is soaring! ("All the sarcasm that's fit to post.")

Anyway, let the memoirs and speaking engagements begin!

Comments

[lesterbud]

George Junior - The Johnnie LeMaster of Presidents!

Johnnie LeMaster played 12 years in the major league, batted .222, hit a total of 22 home runs (less than 2 per year with nearly 3.5 thousand at bats) and led the league in errors for several seasons. He once, famously, replaced his name on his Jersey with the word "Boo" for an actual home game because the SF Giants fans hated him so much. He is generally considered to be the player that had the longest career with the least skill and lowest results - ever. The 8 years of Bush Jr. as President make a very good comparison. Like LeMasters' "Boo", George should have had a parting banner made reading "Failure Accomplished"!

[Dave Astor - Huffpost Blogger]

Hi lesterbud,
That IS a very good comparison! Thanks for your great comment.
Best wishes, Dave

[lesterbud]

How often do you get to use a Johnnie LeMaster reference?

Thanks for your good work - keep it up!

[messy]

What does this have to do with the revolution in Iran and all the tea in China?

[Dave Astor - Huffpost Blogger]

Hi MugRuith1,
Your comment and signature are hilarious! A nice take on "currency events."
Best wishes, Dave

[MugRuith1]

Howdy, Mr. Astor!

-- Bill Clinton and George W. Bush reportedly raked in $150,000 apiece for their recent joint appearance in Canada. --

Canadian dollars aren't called loonies for nothing!

MugElPresidenteParaLaVidaRuith1