Creating a 'Brave New Dem'

I was having some mixed feelings about President Obama until I learned of a secret plan that made me feel much better.

My mixed feelings had to do with Obama being liberal on some issues but not-so-liberal on others -- making him yet another Democratic president who compromises more than Republicans like George W. Bush and Ronald Reagan ever did. "The Audacity of Not Being TOO Progressive," you might call it.

But the secret plan a left-leaning congresswoman told me about -- WOW! I talked to her, and she described her creation as "The Amalgam of Hope." She's excited, scientists are excited, and you'll be excited, too.

This "Amalgam" thingy takes a hair from the last four Democratic presidents and extracts the most liberal tendencies from each strand. The quartet of DNA is then combined to create an Oval Office occupant with an anatomical feature not seen often enough in prominent Democrats; that feature, of course, being a backbone.

The presidential potpourri includes elements such as LBJ's "Great Society" mojo (but not his Vietnam War nonsense), Jimmy Carter's human-rights instincts (but not his support of the repressive Shah of Iran), Bill Clinton's attempt to expand health insurance (but not his support of NAFTA), and Obama's reversal of many awful GOP policies (but not his sending of more American troops to Afghanistan).

Of course, a Democratic president who shows some backbone doesn't always meet with success. Bill (and Hillary) Clinton's flawed health proposal was smacked down, and Jimmy Carter wasn't that effective with the human-rights stuff until his exemplary post-White House career. But meld the underutilized liberal chops of four Democratic presidents, and suddenly you have a powerful pastiche of progressivism.

Hopefully the hodgepodge head of state will be photogenic, because Americans like that in a president. But if not, funds for plastic-surgery infrastructure can be part of the next economic stimulus bill.

The name of this "Brave New Dem"? The congresswoman I talked to scrambled the initials of the last four Democratic presidents (LBJ/JC/BC/BO), and came up with Bob Bljccj. America, just picture "Blended" Bob Bljccj taking the oath of office!

I'm forgetting the name of the congresswoman with the secret "Amalgam" plan. Carrie Nelly? Sherry Kelly? Mary Shelley? Something like that.

Comments

[MugRuith1]

12:53 PM on 03/10/2009

Howdy, Mr. Astor!

Is it Frank-en-stein? Or is it Fronk-en-steen?

TIA.

MugRuith1 (Alias "The Other Modern Prometheus")

[Dave Astor]

01:09 PM on 03/10/2009

Hi MugRuith1,

Thanks for getting the Mary Shelley reference! I use the first pronunciation, but I've been known to pronounce some things wrong....

Best wishes,

Dave

[Melissa Lande]

12:20 PM on 03/10/2009

Nobody's perfect but Obama is such a pleasure to watch in comparison to the other 3-- I used to say I'd do anything to have Bill C. back and I still love him because of his intelligence. His lizard brain got a little in the way, but it helps that he has a smart wife and daughter. As far as Obama, he has a smart wife too and no signs of lizard brain -- it's such a pleasure to hear someone so articulate and sincere, as well as a grounded huiman being who has excellent priorities. We don't know about Afghanistan-- we don't know a lot. We never will. As far as trust goes, I'd trust him more than any of the Democratic presidents on every level, and the fact that so many Republicans are acting like fools about it (reaching across what aisle? The aisle in liquor store?) demonstrates their entire lack of knowledge about their world. Munipal governments are crashing. Obviously not interested. What we needed was, besides intelligence, someone who understands grassroots. Thanks Dave Astor. Having someone who knows media writing for a new great kind of media with the brilliant Arianna at the helm is still another step forward into webland.

[Dave Astor]

01:15 PM on 03/10/2009

Hi Melissa,

Thanks for your comments! I also admire Barack Obama more than his predecessors, but am a little frustrated that he reins in his progressivism at times. Of course, there's a lot of pressure on him to do that from the GOP, the mainstream media, etc.!

Best wishes,

Dave