I had been wondering what George W. Bush would do after leaving the White House in disgrace. Then came his $7-million deal for a sure-to-be-crummy book titled Decision Points or Toast Points or A Thousand Toast Points of Light or whatever.
But given that Bush lacks the writing chops to pen a coherent book by himself, he'll still have plenty of time on his hands while someone else does the authorial heavy lifting. So, how might Dubya spend that time?
One obvious choice would be for Bush to host a cable program that matches his work ethic (The Yearly Show). America's worst president ever could also help Dick Cheney -- the wily warmonger who dodged personal peril with five Vietnam War deferments -- pay for construction of "The Deferment Museum and Research Center."
Or Bush could emulate former President Jimmy Carter by building homes for the poor, monitoring overseas elections to guard against fraud, and winning the Nobel Peace Prize. Of course, Bush might put his individual stamp on those scenarios by adjusting them ever so slightly. Building second homes for the rich, monitoring U.S. elections to guard against fairness, and retroactively winning the 2000 Nobel Peace Prize (how the Supreme Court overturns THAT result is anyone's guess).
Bush, who invented rationales for America's now-six-year-old occupation of Iraq, could also invent a leaf blower that blows the "L," "E," "A," and "F" letters off computer keyboards. After all, those letters also spell "fale" -- which pretty much sums up Bush's "faled" (and spelling-challenged) presidency.
Or Bush could return to college and earn a degree in "partisanal" science rather than political science. Let's just hope the SATs are never given online, because I'm afraid of what might happen when the first multiple-choice question pops up. Bush, thinking the computer monitor is one big answer box, might use his number-two pencil to blacken the entire screen.
Finally, Bush could trek to distant galaxies in a replica of the starship "Nepotize" -- boldly blundering where no prez has blundered before. During his first stop, "Captain Jerk" might attend a barbecue in a space-station backyard. Later, Bush's continuing mission (accomplished) could involve starting a war in a strange new world. "Encounter at Decision Point"?
Got any of your own scenarios to keep Bush busy in 2009 and beyond? "Bring 'em on" in the comments area below!
Thanks! Perfect name for his book!
Best wishes, Dave