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What If Obama Had Turned Down The Nobel?

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When it was announced that President Obama won the Nobel Peace Prize, he gave the perfect "I'll say it so you don't have to" response. He said that he didn't think he'd earned it. Then he went on to say thank you, explain how honored he was and that he hoped his actions in the future would merit the committee's choice. Seemed pretty straight forward to me.

Now, the future being the future and all, we'll have to wait to see how that works out. I'm betting it will. But wait we must.

However, I couldn't help noticing how crazed the President's detractors by his humility. They wanted to be the ones to say he hadn't earned it. They wanted to be the first to shake their heads in confusion. But Obama ruined their day and beat them to it.

So, after spending a few days trashing the Nobel committee, previous prize recipients and the entire country of Norway, his detractors had to find a whole new tack. It didn't take them long to come up with this one: "He should have refused it."

So that got me wondering. What if he had refused it? Those who've dug in their heels and vowed to be against whatever Obama does would have had to regroup yet again. So what would the Obama haters have come up with? I'm guessing it would have gone something like this:

Sean Hannity: "It's unbelievable. The world wants to honor America's president and he, pardon my French, flips them off. Who would he rather they give it to? Bill Ayres? It's just unbelievable."

Ann Coulter: "Whose insane idea was this? Obama's Marxist Socialist Communist 'Bad Manners' Czar? I hope the Liberals are happy because...even though I haven't figured out how yet...this is going to lead to a lot of abortions."

Glenn Beck: "Well, isn't that exactly what you'd expect from a racist? To say to the fine white people of Norway that he's too good for their award? It makes me sad, America. Sad enough to cry."

Sarah Palin: "No bell? What's he got against bells? In Alaska we put bells on all the moose so we can shoot them in the dark."

John Boehner: "I can't believe I'm using valuable tanning time to comment on this, but clearly President Obama is intent on embarrassing this country in any way he possibly can."

Liz Cheney: "I was going to say, 'Isn't that what you'd expect from someone who's gone all over the world apologizing for America?,' but my father thinks I should find a way to link Obama not accepting the Peace Prize to his not wanting to keep the country safe. So, I'm going to have to get back to you."

John McCain: "My friends, that the president would turn down this prestigious award and put our troops in harms way like this is a horrible mistake. We have enough enemies without adding Norway to the mix."

Rush Limbaugh: "First of all, they should have chosen me instead of Obama because I've done more for the world than he will ever do. And I would have proudly accepted the honor on behalf of the country that loves me."

Lou Dobbs: "As long as the Norwegians on the committee don't cross our borders illegally, I don't really care what Obama does."

Mark Levin: "Ladies and gentleman, as a Constitutional scholar, I can tell you that there's nothing in that esteemed document that allows the President of the United States to unilaterally reject the concept of peace on behalf of the citizens of this fine country. Rejecting the Nobel Peace prize means he must be against peace. Do you hear me?! He's against peace! The man hates peace! Well, I can tell you this - that big dope doesn't speak for me!"

Lindsay Graham: "I agree with whatever John McCain said."

Dick Morris: "Boy, I'll bet the Clintons were pissed. At least I sure hope so."

Bill O'Reilly: "You don't turn down one of the most prestigious awards in the world! You certainly didn't see me turn down my Polk. Nothing against the President, but he's a pinhead."

You get the idea -- it doesn't matter what Obama does or doesn't do. To the radical right, he'll always wrong.

If he reads from a teleprompter, he's a fraud. If he speaks off the cuff, he's unprepared.

Asking for the Olympics was a waste of time. Not getting the Olympics was an embarrassing failure.

Sending more troops anywhere is breaking a promise. Not sending more troops everywhere is an outrage.

Taking an afternoon to play golf is bad. Taking a week to clear brush is a well-deserved rest.

And the insanity doesn't end with the President. They also don't approve of the First Lady's apparel. So, in case you forgot to mark your score cards -- sleeves are good, no sleeves are bad.

So here's my humble advice to the president: Quit trying to make everybody happy. That's never going to happen.

You promised you'd do your best to do your best. That's all anyone can do. And that's all we ask.