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Dave Hanson
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Entries by Dave Hanson

Why the Drudge Report Has Had 26,619,841 Visitors in the Past 24 Hours, 807,284,101 in the Past 31 Days, and 6,886,716,197 in the Past Year

(0) Comments | Posted October 23, 2008 | 10:19 AM

Yes, he's been chastised for printing "Drudge Polls" indicating McCain will win in a landslide. And he's been scolded for using shamelessly misleading headlines to pull readers into disappointing, anti-climactic stories. But damn it, he makes news fun! Not since the Weekly World News has anyone had such...

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A Few Suggestions of How John McCain Could Regain Some Media Attention

(0) Comments | Posted July 25, 2008 | 7:31 PM

  • Slap around his sister and mother when they ask for money--that seems to get a lot of press coverage.
  • Refer to himself as John "Vivanno" McCain.
  • Complement his creepy laugh by making all appearances in Joker make-up.
  • Talk about the "twenty kids by twenty different women" back in...
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How a Dose of Magic Can Stop the American Idol Ratings Slide

(0) Comments | Posted April 22, 2008 | 10:11 AM

Last weekend, when his girlfriend didn't win the Miss USA pageant, magician Criss Angel yelled obscenities, threatened a columnist who only has one eye, and gave the finger to NBC cameras. It makes sense that Angel would be emotional--he knew how much the title meant to her,...

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Our Desperate Need for Honesty, and Craigslist Is One Place to Start

(0) Comments | Posted April 7, 2008 | 6:20 PM

It's an election year, so naturally, the lies and half-truths are flying as thick as champagne corks at a K-Fed birthday party. I noticed something odd--this is the first major election year where the lying doesn't bother me. But frankly, the fact that it DOESN'T bother me, DOES bother me....

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Matt Drudge Leaks More than Janice Dickinson's Restalyne

(0) Comments | Posted February 29, 2008 | 11:57 AM

Adrenalized by the excitement of being the first to publish the photos of Obama in robes, Matt Drudge couldn't resist leaking the confidential story that Prince Harry was on the front lines in Afghanistan. The British Ministry of Defence excoriated Drudge yesterday but still, an animal that tastes...

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Diablo Cody and Amy Winehouse Agree to Morph; Agent Envisions "New Standard of Cool"

(0) Comments | Posted February 27, 2008 | 2:06 PM


(BUSINESS WIRE)--Feb. 27, 2008 In a deal that marks yet another consolidation of industry superpowers, award-show dominators Diablo Cody and Amy Winehouse have morphed into a single celebrity. The repulsive-yet-oddly-titillating entity, which will be called Diablo Cathouse, was introduced by CAA superagent Bryan Lourd at a press...

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Breaking: Nikki Finke on Deadline; Not Actually Dead

(0) Comments | Posted January 31, 2008 | 4:21 PM

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2008 Primaries: The First 10,000 Days

(0) Comments | Posted January 21, 2008 | 10:41 AM

At least, it feels that way to me.

Maybe it's because with a woman and a black guy and a Mormon and a Creationist and a guy whose wife has cancer and a Vietnam vet all deriding each other 24 hours a day for months on end while all...

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Bears Quarterback Files Breach of Services Contract Against the Devil

(0) Comments | Posted January 9, 2008 | 12:17 AM

Attorneys for Bears quarterback Rex Grossman have filed suit against the devil, saying that while their client signed away his soul in good faith, the devil has not done his part to fulfill his promise of "a dream career in the NFL."

Grossman cited preferential treatment...

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Joy to the World, Peace is Restored

(0) Comments | Posted January 2, 2008 | 9:35 AM

  1. In the supermarket, the buttermilk has reclaimed its place near the Lactaid after six weeks of being marginalized by the eggnog.
  2. At home, the relatives have left, and we can make noise again during sex.
  3. On TV, football graphics aren't strangled with holly, and the newscaster reporting the...
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