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Dave Winer

Dave Winer

Posted: August 31, 2008 04:30 PM

Humor: Our First Female President


Worth reading, Maureen Dowd's op-ed in today's Times.

Summary -- the McC choice of Palin is the plot of a low budget chick flick. Now, picking up the story where it left off...

The wrinkly white haired dude and the VP-chick win the election and just after he's inaugurated, the old guy dies suddenly and she's sworn in, over the objections of all the white males on the old dude's staff and the leading members of Congress including the fat white male Speaker of the House played by John Goodman (ignoring for a moment that the actual Speaker is a spry foxy grandma type). Donald Sutherland plays the Chief Justice of the Supreme Court, who does the swearing-in.

She gets a chance to redecorate the Oval Office in pink and throws a frat party at the White House for her friends from Alaska, who do funny farting and belching scenes in austere parts of the White House supervised by stuffy old maids and butlers and a corrupt Chief of Staff who the chick-Pres fires when she finds out he's been mean to one of her Alaskan friends.

Things are settling down to normal when the second Cuban Missile Crisis starts. It's looking pretty tough for our heroine when her husband, riding his snowmobile across the Bering Straight, throws a keg party for the guys manning the Russian missile silos in Kamchatka and convinces them to reprogram the computers to point their missiles back at Moscow. The Russians, who are fed up with white men too, and want to break their own glass ceiling, overthrow Putin and elect a hot Russian babe to be President, and the final scene is a summit meeting in a hot tub with the two Presidents comparing breast pumping techniques, drinking a beer and of course enjoying a moose bratwurst.

Turns out Russians and Alaskans have a lot more in common than you might think.